This year, 2012, marks the 50th anniversary of Ian Fleming’s famed fictitious hero, James Bond, as he appears on film. Chances are you might have heard of this guy: works for MI6, the British Secret Service, he likes his vodka martinis shaken not stirred, and he’s a real hit with the ladies. For the past fifty years, across 5 different actors and 23 different films, Bond has been the epitome of a hero that combines charm with machismo. All the Bond films have pushed the envelope for action and entertainment. All of them have brought something new and thrilling to the table, pitting 007 against so many odd enemies and challenges.
I’ve been a James Bond fan since high-school, but exploring each film has never gotten old for me. If anything, they all seem to improve and entertain a little more with each new viewing. Even then, there are some I like more than others.
In light of the 50th anniversary celebration, here is my personal top ten favorite James Bond films:
10: Licence to Kill (1989)
This might just be the bloodiest and most brutal Bond film of the entire lot. It gets pretty gnarly as one poor henchman gets shredded in a grinder, another guy gets stabbed by a forklift, and one of the major baddies gets stuck in a decompression chamber that causes his head to explode. In a way, these excesses work in favor of the film, because it makes the threat a lot more real, especially when it comes from the hands of the main antagonist: Franz Sanchez (Robert Davi), a real cold and brutal drug dealer who could give Tony Montanna a run for his money. Timothy Dalton plays Bond, who plays it real hard and tough as he tracks down Franz. The real twist here is that Bond is not just running after the bad guy for king and country: he’s in it because they messed around with his buddy Felix Leiter, murdering his wife and having his legs bitten off by sharks, so naturally Bond wants some payback. With the theme of vengeance running strong, Licence to Kill stands out as one of the most hard-hitting Bond movies.
Entertainment: Good | Story: Very Good | Film: Good
09: Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)
As the 90s marched on, globalization really started to kick in with the advents of the Internet, satellite communications, and world news delivering information around the world all the time. With this in mind, TND builds its concept from a frighteningly realistic notion: what if the CEO of a news company decides to start a war, for the sole purpose of selling the news? Maybe this is still a little outlandish, but compared to every other Bond film, this is a premise that fits in perfectly with the information age. Jonathan Pryce plays a rather hammy villain, orchestrating all this madness, while Pierce Brosnan puts on his usual charm and cool wit opposite Michelle Yeoh to kick a lot of serious butt.
Entertainment: Very Good | Story: Good | Film: Good
08: Quantum of Solace (2008)
Underrated masterpiece, or underwhelming disappointment? Most viewers seem to fall on one side of the fence or the other with this film; strangely, I’ve felt both. On the first viewing, I was really thrown off by the film’s erratic, rapid-fire editing, which slams the action into the viewers’ faces. As for the plot, it strings together a bunch of insane action sequences and doesn’t really draw the lines from point A to point B the way the other films do.
On repeat viewings, however, I found myself more complacent with the loud, crazy, fast-cut action scenes; the opening car chase really makes you feel like you’re in the passenger seat with Bond as he careens through the Italian countryside and blasts this machine gun out the window. As for the rest of the film, it touches upon a lot of key issues that resonate with the modern age: the diminishing natural resources, poverty, class differences, corporate manipulation of governments, and more. As Bond treads through a morally ambiguous political terrain, he winds up rushing against the grain with his own allies. What’s most important, however, is the theme of revenge, especially in the final scenes, which bring closure to the events of Casino Royale. In spite of that, Quantum of Solace is best seen back-to-back with Casino Royale, forming a cohesive double-bill that fully develops Bond’s character (portrayed with serious skill and attitude by Daniel Craig).
Entertainment: Perfect | Story: Good | Film: Pretty Good
07: The Man With the Golden Gun (1974)
Certainly not the best or most serious film in Roger Moore’s repertoire as James Bond, but this might be the funnest, at least in my opinion. Bearing little in common with Ian Fleming’s novel, this film pits Bond against the hotshot assassin Scaramanga (played by Count Dooku…I mean, Saruman…I mean, Christopher Lee), and his vertically-challenged sidekick Nick Nack (Herve Villechaize). The story tears across all of Thailand with some really fun boat and car chases; one big highlight of which includes a car performing a magnificent 180-degree roll across a river. The most interesting showdown occurs on Scaramanga’s island hideout, where he and Bond chase each other in a funhouse-style maze. What helps make this stand out is Scaramanga himself, who comes across as what Bond himself would have been if he was evil (a type of parallel that would also come into play in Skyfall).
Entertainment: Very Good | Story: Good | Film: Good
06: The Living Daylights (1987)
Expanding upon one of Ian Fleming’s short stories, this flick kicks up the action a great deal, as Bond hops around the world from one big car or foot chase to another. He serves as a sniper in the beginning, leads a full-blown rebellion toward the end, and uses a small wealth of gadgets to give armies of bad guys the slip. It’s a pretty heavy case of one-thing-leading-to-another, and it makes for a nonstop thrill ride. Timothy Dalton shows some adequate charm and wit in this film, but mostly channels a type of angst that helps give him a more serious attitude (only outmatched by Daniel Craig). Maryam d’Abo plays the Bond girl in this flick, and might be my favorite one. Funnily enough, Joe Don Baker plays the villain, even though he reappears later in GoldenEye and Tomorrow Never Dies as an ally.
Entertainment: Perfect | Story: Good | Film: Very Good
05: Skyfall (2012)
Not everybody has taken too kindly to the latest 007 film, citing it as appearing far less like James Bond and more like Jason Bourne. Skyfall additionally takes some huge influences from Christopher Nolan’s Batman films, so the film is loaded with some serious plot twists that might strain some believability, and may cause some viewers to call this film weak, pretentious, or overrated.
As a fan of both Bond and The Dark Knight films, any issues in Skyfall never really bothered me that much, and I enjoyed it quite thoroughly. I was personally impressed as to how high the film kicked up the stakes: this is the first time in a Bond film where MI6 itself is targeted and bombed, and where M becomes a target (she was captured in The World is Not Enough, but in Skyfall, it’s a lot more intense). The film goes on to reintroduce a few old characters in a completely new way, appealing to old-time fans while paving the way for a canonical future. Daniel Craig continues in his mean streak as Bond, while Javier Bardem puts on a quality performance as one of the weirdest and creepiest Bond villains of the lot. Their interactions serve to underscore some strong themes regarding the characters’ progress and future, and ultimately fuel the complex dynamics of the story. Whether you love it or hate it, it proves once and for all that Bond is here to stay.
Entertainment: Very Good | Story: Very Good | Film: Very Good
04: Goldfinger (1964)
There can be no best-of list for Bond without mentioning Goldfinger in any respect. This film has all the classic moments that have defined the franchise over the decades: the girl covered in gold, the creeping laser-beam scene, the man with the iron hat, the fight in Fort Knox, the car with the ejector seat, the bad guy appearing with a golden pistol…chances are that you may know these scenes even if you’ve never seen the film. It’s not just a bunch of random cool scenes though: the film plows through its fun and simple story at full speed, loading it up with action and suspense. Sean Connery, cool as ever, plays Bond for the third time in his career, while Gert Fröbe portrays a decently wacky villain. Honor Blackman appears as one of the most famous Bond girls, thanks largely to her unintentionally suggestive name.
Entertainment: Perfect | Story: Good | Film: Very Good
03: GoldenEye (1995)
This was the first Bond movie I saw, and it remains a top favorite. After a six year gap, Bond blasted back to the big screen with loads of incredible action: it starts of thrillingly as Bond bungee jumps off a dam, before blowing up a Russian base, having plenty of intense shootouts with bad guys, driving a tank through St Petersburg, and ultimately duking it out with the villain on top of a satellite dish array. Not only is the entertainment good, but the story is too, as Bond is forced to confront a specter of his past while facing the challenges of the future. With the Cold War ended, it seemed as though Bond was a useless relic; this film turned it around and paved an endearing future for the character, and the stories.
Entertainment: Perfect | Story: Very Good | Film: Very Good
02: Thunderball (1965)
Of all the Bond movies, Thunderball has always seemed like the sexiest and most exotic film of them all. Set in the gorgeous beaches and waters of the Bahamas, the film runs through a fairly simple story (theft of nuclear weapons, pretty standard action-movie territory by today’s standards) with plenty of style. It is probably the closest adaptation of an Ian Fleming novel to date, for it is scene-by-scene and word-for-word the same for about 95% of it. The film brims with beautiful women and locations. Plus, it has a lot of intense fist-fighting, pursuits, and suspenseful scenes. The film is long and thrilling, and it makes for a very satisfying adventure. Sean Connery is still the man as James Bond; Adolfo Celi is iconic as the eyepatched villain Largo, while Claudine Auger and Luciana Paluzzi add some serious sex appeal to the mix.
Entertainment: Perfect | Story: Perfect | Film: Very Good
01: Casino Royale (2006)
After 20 Bond movies, the series had decidedly grown stagnant, ending with the rather overblown Die Another Day (a film held in very little regard, but still ranks as a top favorite guilty pleasure for me personally). It was decided that Bond needed a fresh start. So in ’06, Casino Royale was released.
This new Bond proved to be very fresh, bold, and different. It may rub long-time fans the wrong way, seeing Bond without his famous gadgets, spending more time in a card game than kicking butt, and in seeing blonde hair on the guy for a radical change.
Personally, I never saw much ground for such complaints: Daniel Craig established himself very well as James Bond, adapting a perfectly volatile mix of suave charm, brutal attitude, and cold-heartedness that has always defined Bond, but was never quite as vibrant or intense as seen in Craig’s performance. The film starts off hard-hitting, showing Bond in a hard-edged fistfight in a gaudy bathroom, in the assignment that grants him his initial license to kill. From then on, the film plows ahead at full steam: the opening scenes in Africa are incredible as Bond runs down a parkour master through a construction yard and into an embassy, practically destroying both locales in the process. Bond constantly runs into danger from then on, having to fight goons, finding himself poisoned, running down a terrorist at the Miami airport, and ultimately confronting a gang of baddies in Venice. The film is long, but it’s so full of action that it feels very fulfilling.
At the heart of it, the film still focuses very well on its storytelling, especially in regards to showing Bond’s first mission and his attachment to Vesper Lynd (Eva Green), whose fate would affect Bond in all his future endeavors (perhaps moreso than the events of On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, which provided a major turning point for Bond throughout the original series). In the end, Casino Royale is one of those few movies I value the most: the type that perfectly balances storytelling with action, and does so with style.
Entertainment: Perfect | Story: Perfect | Film: Perfect
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November 18, 2012
November 11, 2012
Film Review: SkyFall (007)
"Sometimes the old ways are the best." - Naomie Harris
As the 23rd official James Bond film overall (and the third starring Daniel Craig), Skyfall starts off fresh and thrilling with a really impressive chase scene throughout Istanbul...then, the film and character literally plunges into the depths of stark new territory. The film does go on to cover some standard James Bond ground for the first act: Bond still hobnobs around casinos, drinks a vodka martini, chases after some girls...but throughout the second half, all of the stakes were raised so substantially, it pushed the characters to their limits. With all the bold, thrilling plot twists and turns, Skyfall is to 007 what The Dark Knight was to Batman: in both cases, the heroes tread along a knife's edge and go through extreme measures to ensure victory.
Rest assured, the film still entertains every bit as much as the other films of the franchise. Despite a few slow parts, most of it (especially in the last half) remains consistently suspenseful, thrilling, exciting, and even humorous at times. There are even a huge number of references and nods to established elements of Bond lore, and by the film's end, it feels as though one age of Bond has passed and another has begun (which is funny, because I thought the transition was more or less complete after Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace; it goes to show that the filmmakers still have some aces up their sleeves).
The story for this film is quite sound, and amazingly thoughtful. From the start, it emphasizes James Bond's seniority, as he suffers in the line of duty, feels the burden of aging, and as politicians put his usefulness into question. The film goes on to talk about the old vs the new, or the past vs the present, and it does an effective job of mixing the old and the new in interesting ways. These key themes and conflicts keep the plot running, and ultimately spurs newfound life and depth in the characters, for both Bond and the villain he ultimately uncovers. Their interactions prove to be quite profound; many of Bond's most memorable villains have been foil characters, but in this case, I really got the feeling that this villain would have been Bond himself if things were different. Given the character motivations, the rising stakes, and the ultimate climax, the film showcases one of the most unusual and most hard-hitting Bond stories of the lot. Purists may find it totally uninteresting, but it'll strike a stronger chord with the modern generation, for the film proves that James Bond is still the man.
As expected, the film looks nice and slick. A bit drab in terms of tone and color design (for better or for worse), but the camera work is decent, and the editing is good (thankfully, not nearly as screwy as Quantum of Solace). Acting is great; Daniel Craig is still perfect as James Bond, while Judi Dench continues to play it tough as M, and Javier Bardem puts on a nuanced performance (despite playing a rather weird, child-like character). Ralph Fiennes and Naomie Harris are both a pleasure to watch as well. The writing is quite slick, full of wit and depth. This production does a fine job with the sets, props, and costumes. I've seen plenty of folks complaining about the special effects, but they never really bothered me that much. Same with the music; I love Thomas Newman's score, regardless of how different it is from the usual works of David Arnold or John Barry. And, I do love Adele's theme song.
I definitely enjoyed this film, and it would rank pretty high on my list of favorite 007 films. Whether you're a fan or not, the film is certainly worth checking out. Recommended!
4.5/5 (Entertainment: Very Good | Story: Very Good | Film: Very Good)
As the 23rd official James Bond film overall (and the third starring Daniel Craig), Skyfall starts off fresh and thrilling with a really impressive chase scene throughout Istanbul...then, the film and character literally plunges into the depths of stark new territory. The film does go on to cover some standard James Bond ground for the first act: Bond still hobnobs around casinos, drinks a vodka martini, chases after some girls...but throughout the second half, all of the stakes were raised so substantially, it pushed the characters to their limits. With all the bold, thrilling plot twists and turns, Skyfall is to 007 what The Dark Knight was to Batman: in both cases, the heroes tread along a knife's edge and go through extreme measures to ensure victory.
Rest assured, the film still entertains every bit as much as the other films of the franchise. Despite a few slow parts, most of it (especially in the last half) remains consistently suspenseful, thrilling, exciting, and even humorous at times. There are even a huge number of references and nods to established elements of Bond lore, and by the film's end, it feels as though one age of Bond has passed and another has begun (which is funny, because I thought the transition was more or less complete after Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace; it goes to show that the filmmakers still have some aces up their sleeves).
The story for this film is quite sound, and amazingly thoughtful. From the start, it emphasizes James Bond's seniority, as he suffers in the line of duty, feels the burden of aging, and as politicians put his usefulness into question. The film goes on to talk about the old vs the new, or the past vs the present, and it does an effective job of mixing the old and the new in interesting ways. These key themes and conflicts keep the plot running, and ultimately spurs newfound life and depth in the characters, for both Bond and the villain he ultimately uncovers. Their interactions prove to be quite profound; many of Bond's most memorable villains have been foil characters, but in this case, I really got the feeling that this villain would have been Bond himself if things were different. Given the character motivations, the rising stakes, and the ultimate climax, the film showcases one of the most unusual and most hard-hitting Bond stories of the lot. Purists may find it totally uninteresting, but it'll strike a stronger chord with the modern generation, for the film proves that James Bond is still the man.
As expected, the film looks nice and slick. A bit drab in terms of tone and color design (for better or for worse), but the camera work is decent, and the editing is good (thankfully, not nearly as screwy as Quantum of Solace). Acting is great; Daniel Craig is still perfect as James Bond, while Judi Dench continues to play it tough as M, and Javier Bardem puts on a nuanced performance (despite playing a rather weird, child-like character). Ralph Fiennes and Naomie Harris are both a pleasure to watch as well. The writing is quite slick, full of wit and depth. This production does a fine job with the sets, props, and costumes. I've seen plenty of folks complaining about the special effects, but they never really bothered me that much. Same with the music; I love Thomas Newman's score, regardless of how different it is from the usual works of David Arnold or John Barry. And, I do love Adele's theme song.
I definitely enjoyed this film, and it would rank pretty high on my list of favorite 007 films. Whether you're a fan or not, the film is certainly worth checking out. Recommended!
4.5/5 (Entertainment: Very Good | Story: Very Good | Film: Very Good)
Film Review: Dark Shadows (2012)
"It is said that blood is thicker than water. It is what defines us, binds us... curses us." - Johnny Depp
I've always heard of the original 1966 TV series Dark Shadows, but I never saw it, so I have no idea how it compares with this film. At the very least, I always thought it was weird that they'd make a movie out of this after more than forty years of the TV show's premier.
On its own merits, the film has its moments. Tim Burton's typical gothic aesthetic is applied pretty generously, so the film does have its fair share of darkly fantastic imagery, wicked monsters, and imaginative special effects. There are also occasional moments of amusing comedy. In fact, it comes pretty close to achieving the same effect as the film adaptations of The Addams Family or The Brady Bunch, since all these films took the characters of the original shows and plopped them into modern times to create some really funny scenes. The Dark Shadows film sets out to do the same, and it is successful at times. The problem is, it's never constant, so the film tends to drag in between the funny scenes and the more eventful scenes.
The story for this is not too bad. I've heard that the film crams in entire seasons of the show into its short runtime; fortunately, the film is never rushed, but it feels as though a number of scenes, subplots, and characters are presented without any direct bearing on the main story. Regardless, the film does a fine job of keeping all the plots and characters straight and presentable for the audience. Characters are pretty interesting all around, even if some of them are one-sided or undercooked. A running theme of family helps tie it all together.
The film looks good and slick, with good photography and editing. Acting is not bad; I enjoyed Johnny Depp's eccentricities, and I loved Eva Green's performance. Writing is alright. A good amount of quality sets, props, costumes, and special effects were dispensed effectively. Music is pretty groovy.
I recommend it as a rental.
3.5/5 (Entertainment: Pretty Good | Story: Pretty Good | Film: Pretty Good)
I've always heard of the original 1966 TV series Dark Shadows, but I never saw it, so I have no idea how it compares with this film. At the very least, I always thought it was weird that they'd make a movie out of this after more than forty years of the TV show's premier.
On its own merits, the film has its moments. Tim Burton's typical gothic aesthetic is applied pretty generously, so the film does have its fair share of darkly fantastic imagery, wicked monsters, and imaginative special effects. There are also occasional moments of amusing comedy. In fact, it comes pretty close to achieving the same effect as the film adaptations of The Addams Family or The Brady Bunch, since all these films took the characters of the original shows and plopped them into modern times to create some really funny scenes. The Dark Shadows film sets out to do the same, and it is successful at times. The problem is, it's never constant, so the film tends to drag in between the funny scenes and the more eventful scenes.
The story for this is not too bad. I've heard that the film crams in entire seasons of the show into its short runtime; fortunately, the film is never rushed, but it feels as though a number of scenes, subplots, and characters are presented without any direct bearing on the main story. Regardless, the film does a fine job of keeping all the plots and characters straight and presentable for the audience. Characters are pretty interesting all around, even if some of them are one-sided or undercooked. A running theme of family helps tie it all together.
The film looks good and slick, with good photography and editing. Acting is not bad; I enjoyed Johnny Depp's eccentricities, and I loved Eva Green's performance. Writing is alright. A good amount of quality sets, props, costumes, and special effects were dispensed effectively. Music is pretty groovy.
I recommend it as a rental.
3.5/5 (Entertainment: Pretty Good | Story: Pretty Good | Film: Pretty Good)
November 10, 2012
Gods Among Men: Excerpt Chapter 4
So this month is National Novel Writing Month, and I've decided to devote this month to write out a novel idea that I've had for the past year or so. It's set in a distant future, following in the aftermath of a devastating war between men and super-men. Following the war, the super-men built a city called Theopolis: a massive sprawl legislated by a human-run senate, but protected by a league of superheroes. In this setting, the story focuses on Troy Gaines: an outsider who uses a teleportation device to pass himself off as a super-hero, with the hopes of joining the Pantheon and becoming a true protector of the city. To prove his worth, he is sent on a mission to investigate the disappearances of key personnel. After snooping around for a bit, he has the following encounter.
This is still a work in progress, and is quite rough.
Additional information and progress can be accessed through my NaNoWriMo profile.
--------------------
Troy stopped at a
café for lunch, and was enjoying a hot beef sandwich served au jus, with a side
of home fries and peas. As he dipped his
sandwich in the savory sauce, he relaxed and watched the people on the street
as they passed by. There were no
shortages of pretty girls on the boulevard.
Suddenly, a man
sat down at the table across from Troy.
Tall, with bulging muscles, the man was easily twice Troy’s size. A number of red tattoos ordained his ebony skin,
accentuating the curvature of his massive biceps. The stranger had long, mangy black hair that
rippled down to his shoulders. His eyes
were dark and wicked, and he had a nasty scar cutting across his cheek down to
his jaw.
Regarding the
scary-looking man, Troy smiled and said, “Hello,” before taking a bite of his
sandwich.
Scowling, the
stranger spoke with a booming, intimidating voice, “The boss says you’ve been
asking too many questions.”
The threat was all
too obvious to Troy; any other man would have likely been frightened by the
encounter, and would have given up on the investigation. Instead, Troy felt a certain giddiness in
knowing that he had come so close to the truth that he invoked a reaction. Whatever villainy was at work, they felt threatened
by Troy’s snooping, and they wanted him eliminated. More importantly, this was Troy’s chance to
dig for more information.
Still smirking,
Troy said, “That’s my job. I hope you’re
here to answer some of my questions.”
“I’m here to shut
you up for good,” the man warned.
“Who sent you? I
hope it’s not my ex-girlfriend.”
Showing off his
teeth in an amused smile, the man revealed a set of jagged, sharp
dentures. He said, “Oh, you think you’re
a funny man, do you? You’ll be a dead man soon.”
“Oh my, what big
teeth you have,” Troy mocked.
“That’s nothing,”
the man grinned. He held up his hands,
and his fingernails extended to form long, sharp claws. “Now these, are all the
better to rip your heart out with.”
“Who says I have a
heart worth ripping out?”
“Me,” the man
growled. “My name is Snipes McBane.
Enemies call me the Wolf.”
“I can’t imagine
why,” Troy said. “Are you a friend of Duran DeLange?”
“You keep asking
questions, I’m going to claw your throat out!”
“All I see so far
is all bark and no bite.”
“Do you really
want to see what I can do? I’ll take a bite out of you!”
“Not without a
little sauce first,” Troy said, hastily throwing the cup of jus at the
Wolf. Steaming hot broth splashed on his
face messily, making him scream in irritation.
A deep beastly growl came out of his throat.
Snipes suddenly
thrashed his arms up and knocked the table to the side, throwing off all the
food and appliances that were on it.
There were shouts and cries from the people around them, either fleeing
or watching the scene with alarm.
Stepping closer, Snipes grabbed Troy by the throat and lifted him off of
his chair. He brought his other hand
back and balled it into a fist, ready to strike it hard against Troy’s skull.
As Snipes took a
swing, Troy turned on his teleporter device and vanished. The enemy’s arm slugged through empty space,
with tendrils of blue mist wrapping around his fist. Swirling around Snipes, the glowing
apparition moved behind him, before Troy reappeared. Flanking his enemy, he swung his foot out and
struck Snipes in the back. The Wolf
staggered forward, crashing into a nearby table.
Whirling, the Wolf
grabbed the table he fell on and hurled it at Troy. With his teleportation, Troy vanished for an
instant, allowing the table to fly through his disembodied form. As he reappeared, the table crashed behind
him.
Regarding his
enemy, Troy tried to consider how he could possibly overpower him. It probably would have been sensible to
teleport far away; he fly to the other side of the city in an instant if he
wanted to. He didn’t consider running
away to be an acceptable option; he was eager to question Snipes and find out
everything he knew.
Lunging toward
Troy, Snipes took a wide swing, threatening to dig his claws into his opponent’s
side. Teleporting for just an instant,
Troy evaded the Wolf’s attack, and appeared at his side. Grabbing a chair from nearby, he swung it at
Snipes with all his might. The enemy
blocked the chair with his arm; with a strong downward thrust, he bashed the
chair to the ground and smashed it to pieces.
At that moment,
they could hear sirens sounding from the distance. It was an indication that the nearest patrol
of enforcers were on their way, to stop the fight and maintain the peace. Oblivious to the noise, Snipes rammed himself
into Troy. His fists slammed into Troy’s
side as he pushed him into the café’s wall.
Just as the Wolf
swung his fist again, Troy vanished and slipped away as a flowing blue
stream. Snipe’s hand struck the wall
with a bone-crunching crack, and he cried out in pain and rage.
From above, an
enforcer patrol vehicle glided over the boulevard and lowered gently. As it hovered just a few feet off the ground,
a pair of enforcers jumped out of the vehicle’s side. They were dressed in gray and white body
armor, and had laser pistols drawn.
Approaching Snipes from the rear, they aimed their guns and ordered,
“Freeze!”
Snarling, the Wolf
lunged at the nearest policeman and slammed him against the side of the
vehicle. Punching at the man’s head
repeatedly, Snipes knocked the enforcer out, before snatching away his helmet
with his claws.
Flanking Snipes,
the second enforcer fired his gun. A
pair of laser beams spat from the gun’s barrel and into Snipe’s side; the beams
sent electric pulses rippling through his body, making him convulse. The guns were usually enough to stun a normal
man; as big and strong as the Wolf was, he merely became agitated, and growled
at the enforcer.
Slamming himself
into the enforcer, Snipes swiped his clawed hand out at him, and knocked the
gun out of his hands. Thrashing his
hands again, Snipes threw the policeman into the side of the vehicle. It was a strong enough blow to knock the
enforcer out.
Reappearing in
front of Snipes, Troy picked up the gun that was knocked away from the
enforcer. Aiming it at the Wolf, Troy
turned up the weapon’s power, and said, “Down boy. You’ve been very naughty. I’m going to have to put you down.”
Still seething,
Snipes was clearly overcome with a volatile mixture of adrenaline and
rage. He was still cognizant enough to
recognize that Troy could still outflank and gun him down, especially with his
teleportation powers. Sneering, the Wolf
said, “I’m not telling you anything.”
“No matter,” Troy
shrugged. “The Pantheon can take you in, and they have ways of making you
talk.”
“They’ll never
cage me!”
Snipes suddenly
moved, and Troy snapped a shot at him.
The laser beam from his gun missed the Wolf by mere inches; the blast
cut the air behind him, singeing some of his long black hair. The beam continued into the enforcer vehicle,
boring a clean, smoldering hole in the metal siding.
It took an instant
for Snipes to climb into the enforcer’s vehicle and move to the front
seat. Taking the controls, he flew the vehicle
over the street and accelerated toward the nearest highway. As the vehicle flew away, Troy aimed with his
pistol and snapped another shot. A
bright red beam lanced toward the hovercraft, striking its underside and
blowing another hole in its chassis. A
shower of sparks followed, and the vehicle tilted to one side; it was an
indication that Troy had struck a vital system.
Transporting
himself, Troy zoomed over the street and flew in tandem with the enforcer
vehicle. He pushed himself fast enough
to catch up to it; he brought himself side-by-side with its driver’s side
window, and could see Snipes through the glass.
He saw Troy’s disembodied mist, and reacted by veering the hovercraft
into him. The vehicle swerved sharply in
the air, passing directly through Troy’s vaporous form.
The vehicle glided
toward a skyscraper; Snipes tried to bank around it, but thanks to the damage
the hovercraft sustained from Troy’s gunshot, it was unable to turn
effectively. Striking the side of the
building, the vehicle scraped against the concrete wall with an explosion of
sparks and flying shrapnel. Continuing
forward, it dived and spiraled toward a highway.
Raised high above
the lower levels of the city, the highway was a major bloodline to the heart of
the city. There were hundreds of cars
and light hovercraft speeding along its smooth stone surface. When the damaged enforcer vehicle slammed
into the middle of the highway, several cars immediately struck the wrecked
vehicle; one of them rammed straight into the vehicle’s side, crunching its
hood in with a shower of broken glass and metal. Two others struck the crashed ship at odd
angles, causing them to flip and vault into the air; they flew for a short
distance, before landing hard on the road with earthshattering crunches. Behind the wrecked vehicles, more cars
skidded to a sudden halt, causing more of them to crash into each other.
Climbing out of
the smashed enforcer vehicle, Snipes had a deep gash on his scalp that trickled
blood. He staggered onto the road,
disoriented.
Flying into the
scene of the accident, Troy appeared behind Snipes and pressed his gun against
the Wolf’s head. Troy firmly iterated,
“It was a nice attempt at escape, but it was completely reckless. The Pantheon won’t let this carnage go
unpunished.”
“You think this is
carnage?” the Wolf scoffed. “You haven’t seen anything yet!”
“Oh? Tell me what
you know then.”
“You’ll find out
soon enough! A plague is coming to this city of gods, and there’s nothing you
can do to stop it!”
Before Troy to
inquire any further, Snipes darted forward, and he crossed the median. Troy reacted by snapping several shots at the
Wolf; one of his laser beams grazed his enemy’s leg, burning through the pant
leg and drawing blood. Snipes shouted in
pain, but continued to run into highway traffic.
Stepping into the
busy road, he faced an oncoming car. It
skidded to a halt with its horn blaring.
Leaping, Snipes jumped onto the car’s hood, just as it bore down on him. Running over the car’s roof, he leapt onto
another car in the next lane. Landing on
the car’s hood, his body weight crunched the metal inward. In a panic, the car’s driver slammed on the
brakes and sent the car into a skidding turn.
It flung Snipes off of the hood, and he rolled across the street.
With two stopped
cars in the middle of the highway, cars came to a stop and cautiously moved
around the vehicles. One car roared past
Snipes; he reached up with a clawed hand and grabbed onto the car’s side door. As the car sped forward, it dragged the Wolf
among; he used his other clawed hand to grip into the car’s side and pull
himself up. He clung to the roof and
rode the car further down the highway.
Teleporting, Troy
appeared as a brilliant comet hovering in tandem with the car. Snipes snarled at the disembodied
specter. Veering into him, Troy
materialized for a split-second, to shove Snipes firmly in the chest. Knocked off of the car, he tumbled off and
landed on the hood of another car in the next lane. It was a strong enough impact to smash in the
car’s hood, crippling the engine and forcing the car to slow to a halt.
Reacting to the
accident, other cars slowed and continued around the stopped car. Troy materialized beside the stopped
vehicle. Seeing him appear out of the
blue haze, Snipes immediately ripped open the car’s door and grabbed its
driver. He held up a young blonde girl,
who screamed in terror and squirmed against his grasp.
When Troy came to
full human form, he saw the hostage and immediately trained his gun at Snipe’s
head. While the Wolf held up the woman
with one hand, he brought his other hand to her throat, with his claws
extended. He warned, “Time for the
moment of truth, hero! You could take me in, or you can save this girl!”
Just a few miles
down the road, where the other accidents occurred, sirens rang out, and more
enforcer vehicles hovered around the highway.
Troy said, “You’ll never get far.”
“Then your choice
has been made! Catch her if you can!”
Snipes threw the
girl over the side of the highway, with the ease of tossing a rag doll. Flying over the guardrail, she plummeted
through the air to the city blocks hundreds of feet below. Her scream was shrill and constant, and gradually
faded the further she fell.
Troy had only an
instant to react. He could have taken a
shot at Snipes, but he feared that the falling girl would have died by the time
he aimed and fired. Instead, he
teleported and raced after the girl. His
vaporous form fell through the road, and he zoomed toward the freefalling
figure. She was halfway to the ground;
the buildings beneath them were rising up like teeth, threatening to devour the
falling hostage.
The combination of
gravity and speed helped Troy cross over a hundred feet within seconds. Honing
in on the girl, his immaterial form wrapped around her, before he
materialized. It took only a second for
him to grab her and teleport again.
Together, they disappeared in mid-fall, turning into a singular stream
of glowing particles.
Troy led them back
to the highway, and he materialized on the side of the road next to the wrecked
car. When he reappeared, he released the
girl, and she staggered on the ground disoriented and confused. Once she realized that she was out of danger,
she regarded Troy with astonishment and pleaded, “Oh my God, I thought I was
going to die!”
“Oh no, we
couldn’t have that,” Troy remarked.
“Thank you so
much, mister! You are a real hero! I owe you my life!”
Looking around, Troy saw no sign
of the Wolf. As expected, he made a
clean escape, and Troy felt disappointed.
November 2, 2012
Film Review: Return to House on Haunted Hill
"Isn't this the House where all those people died a few years ago?" - Tom Riley
Eight years after the release of the House on Haunted Hill remake, this little film came to home video. It pretty much is direct-to-video trash, offering a few thrills, but nothing substantial.
The best that can be said is that the film has some very wicked scenes of blood and gore, and some rather arousing nude scenes. Unfortunately, the film does drag at spots, and it feels uneven.
The film does its best to build on its predecessor, as it uses the same settings, same production design, and going so far as bringing back Jeffrey Combs to play the same bad guy as in the first film. One other valuable aspect is that, as the ghosts kill off all the hapless characters, the film uses some really wicked flashbacks to explore more of the house's violent history.
Unfortunately, that's all the good that can be said about it. The film employs some rather dull, lifeless characters who serve as little more than crazy-ghost-fodder. The story doesn't have much of a structure or point at all, and it's especially dumb in the way it explains away the hauntings with a mere demonic statue (which also serves as a rather weak and uninspired McGuffin).
The film doesn't look too bad in terms of filming and editing. Acting and writing aren't anything worth praising though. This production has okay-looking sets, props, and costumes, and some rather weak special effects. Music isn't really great either.
2.5/5 (Entertainment: Average | Story: Poor | Film: Poor)
Eight years after the release of the House on Haunted Hill remake, this little film came to home video. It pretty much is direct-to-video trash, offering a few thrills, but nothing substantial.
The best that can be said is that the film has some very wicked scenes of blood and gore, and some rather arousing nude scenes. Unfortunately, the film does drag at spots, and it feels uneven.
The film does its best to build on its predecessor, as it uses the same settings, same production design, and going so far as bringing back Jeffrey Combs to play the same bad guy as in the first film. One other valuable aspect is that, as the ghosts kill off all the hapless characters, the film uses some really wicked flashbacks to explore more of the house's violent history.
Unfortunately, that's all the good that can be said about it. The film employs some rather dull, lifeless characters who serve as little more than crazy-ghost-fodder. The story doesn't have much of a structure or point at all, and it's especially dumb in the way it explains away the hauntings with a mere demonic statue (which also serves as a rather weak and uninspired McGuffin).
The film doesn't look too bad in terms of filming and editing. Acting and writing aren't anything worth praising though. This production has okay-looking sets, props, and costumes, and some rather weak special effects. Music isn't really great either.
2.5/5 (Entertainment: Average | Story: Poor | Film: Poor)
November 1, 2012
Film Review: House on Haunted Hill (1999)
"Funky old house...ain't it?!" - Geoffrey Rush
It seems like the 1959 House on Haunted Hill gets a lot of love, if for no other reason than for Vincent Price's alluring performance. I personally felt the original film was rather slow, dull, gimmicky, and totally not scary. In spite of that, and probably because this remake falls squarely within my generation, I found this rendition of the story superior.
Not only does the film update the look, style, and story, but it also updates the scares...and I still think it's pretty darn scary. The opening titles themselves are creepy, with its montage of strange and gnarly imagery and Don Davis' creepy music score. The next scene, where the lunatics literally take over the asylum, is quite intense. A few other key scenes stand out as being definitely freaky, thanks largely to the strange, twitchy, unnatural-looking nature of all the ghosts and visions the characters experience. A lot of reviewers tend to harp on the film's final act: an explosive sequence in which all the ghosts pool together in a huge dark Lovecraftian mass and chases all the characters around. Most would say that these final scenes are overblown and insipid; despite such weaknesses, I always felt the big mass of ghosts was far scarier than most other things produced on film. Overall, something about the way this film reveals the ghosts, the type of imagery it uses, and the threat it emphasizes, stands out above most other ghost stories. The experience is marred just a bit by some level of cheesy acting and maybe some plot holes, but the atmosphere is effectively creepy and unnerving, and the ghosts really do freak me out.
This story provides a substantial update over the original, taking the original concept and building greater depth and detail into the actual house and its ghostly occupants. There is still a twist to the plot...in fact, there are several. There are so many twists that it will require a greater suspense of disbelief. Regardless, the film is structured in a way that reveals each twist and turn without becoming too convoluted. Characters show plenty of personality; it is especially wicked to watch Geoffrey Rush, who pays some welcome homage to Vincent Price.
This film is stylish and slick, with plenty of interesting and solid photography. Editing is decent. Acting can be rather silly (especially with Chris Kattan in the mix, offering a rather strange performance), but I did enjoy the cast very well. I've always had a soft spot for Geoffrey Rush and Famke Janssen in this film; Jeffrey Combs is very wicked in his role, and everybody else fulfills their parts well. Writing is not great, but distinctive and fun. This production features a lot of really stylish and interesting sets, props, and costumes. Some of the special effects aren't aging well, but are mostly-effective. Music is quite scary.
Recommended as a rental at the least.
4/5 (Entertainment: Perfect | Story: Pretty Good | Film: Good)
It seems like the 1959 House on Haunted Hill gets a lot of love, if for no other reason than for Vincent Price's alluring performance. I personally felt the original film was rather slow, dull, gimmicky, and totally not scary. In spite of that, and probably because this remake falls squarely within my generation, I found this rendition of the story superior.
Not only does the film update the look, style, and story, but it also updates the scares...and I still think it's pretty darn scary. The opening titles themselves are creepy, with its montage of strange and gnarly imagery and Don Davis' creepy music score. The next scene, where the lunatics literally take over the asylum, is quite intense. A few other key scenes stand out as being definitely freaky, thanks largely to the strange, twitchy, unnatural-looking nature of all the ghosts and visions the characters experience. A lot of reviewers tend to harp on the film's final act: an explosive sequence in which all the ghosts pool together in a huge dark Lovecraftian mass and chases all the characters around. Most would say that these final scenes are overblown and insipid; despite such weaknesses, I always felt the big mass of ghosts was far scarier than most other things produced on film. Overall, something about the way this film reveals the ghosts, the type of imagery it uses, and the threat it emphasizes, stands out above most other ghost stories. The experience is marred just a bit by some level of cheesy acting and maybe some plot holes, but the atmosphere is effectively creepy and unnerving, and the ghosts really do freak me out.
This story provides a substantial update over the original, taking the original concept and building greater depth and detail into the actual house and its ghostly occupants. There is still a twist to the plot...in fact, there are several. There are so many twists that it will require a greater suspense of disbelief. Regardless, the film is structured in a way that reveals each twist and turn without becoming too convoluted. Characters show plenty of personality; it is especially wicked to watch Geoffrey Rush, who pays some welcome homage to Vincent Price.
This film is stylish and slick, with plenty of interesting and solid photography. Editing is decent. Acting can be rather silly (especially with Chris Kattan in the mix, offering a rather strange performance), but I did enjoy the cast very well. I've always had a soft spot for Geoffrey Rush and Famke Janssen in this film; Jeffrey Combs is very wicked in his role, and everybody else fulfills their parts well. Writing is not great, but distinctive and fun. This production features a lot of really stylish and interesting sets, props, and costumes. Some of the special effects aren't aging well, but are mostly-effective. Music is quite scary.
Recommended as a rental at the least.
4/5 (Entertainment: Perfect | Story: Pretty Good | Film: Good)