Happy New Year 2017!

Thinking back on 2016, it's easy to focus on all the negative things first, because it's been one crazy year. In fact, it feels like some great universal funk settled over the world and made everything feel a little more down than usual..

Part of it is the relentless celebrity deaths that have plagued the year from day one. David Bowie's passing probably hit me the hardest in January (just two days after his last album dropped nonetheless). Then Carrie Fischer (and her mother, Debbie Reynolds just a day later) ended the year with a whimper. In between: Lemmy, Prince, Gene Wilder, Alan Rickman, George Kennedy, Mohammad Ali, Anton Yelchin, George Michael, Harper Lee, among dozens of others. Even Fidel Castro's passing was a shocker. So many of these are names I've been familiar with throughout my adult life. Every new celebrity death announcement was another slice of the Grim Raper's sickle, and he seemed to be on the warpath all year long.

Bad news seemed to persist all year. The elections were intense, to the point of causing literal anxiety and heart attacks nationwide. It's still causing stress. International relations seem to be faltering all the time. It seemed like I was always reading or hearing about shootings, stabbings, and murder on the news. Even near my house, there was an incident at the school--a man drove a tuck-load of explosives to the building and made a call warning the faculty to evacuate the building. The fear in the community was denser than any inversion that settled in Utah Valley. This coming just several months after the San Bernardino attack, among so many others. I was personally floored, seeing this kind of violence and fanaticism striking so close to my isolated, unassuming community.

At this point, I can't stand reading the news anymore. Every day is either new bad news about murder or more confusion among political rhetoric. It's especially difficult in an age when it's hard to tell if the media is truly reporting unbiased and factually, or not. Perhaps it's always been this way, but this year all these events feel even more jarring for some reason.

In my day-to-day life, I didn't feel as motivated as usual. Had a few failures at work. Beyond that, every other endeavor merely served to keep the status quo. Some days, I felt cagey or irritable. Other days, tired. A combination of factors made work feel pretty overwhelming on some days, and I never mustered the energy to go above-and-beyond with it. Lots of work remain unfinished or unrefined. Perhaps even undisciplined. At one point, I applied for a management position--even though I was one of the top three picks, I was turned down. Deep down, I felt I wasn't ready, precisely because of these issues that bothered me all year.

It's affected my writing as well. Having attended some conferences and critique sessions, it became clear to me pretty fast that my work needed work. Not just in revising structure or grammar or anything, but in my mind and the way I craft and realize stories. There were so many rules and standards I was oblivious to, because I spent too many years writing without learning. For the past several months, I've now learned without writing. It's probably my most unproductive year. It's also been a time when I doubted myself the most as a writer. I've gone through phases of loathing (both self and otherwise), frustration, and perhaps even fear. I haven't even blogged as much as I wished to. I spent a long time researching, studying, listening, and thinking. I've mulled my work over in my head repeatedly, thinking about what's right and what's wrong. I'm finally grasping what I need to do, but it's been a long mental journey that required me to pick myself apart.

In September, I had a car accident and my car was declared a total loss. Pretty rough time for those few weeks. I'm not fond of driving as it is, and for a while this incident made me wary of the road.

On top of that, movies sucked this year. More on that soon.

Taking a step away from all the negative things, however, there are positive things to 2016 that made it stand out in its own phenomenal way. I'm still alive and reasonably healthy--maybe not as weight-conscious as I could be, but I've been much heavier. Best highlights of the year have been my travels. Early in the year, I visited Park City and saw Thievery Corporation in concert. In May, I took a long drive and saw Bryce Canyon, the Grand Canyon (southern rim), then met my parents in Durango CO. Returning to Utah, we stopped by Moab (including Arches National Park, again). With them, I got to see the air museum near Hill Air Force Base. Later, in July, I took a trip to Mesa Verde National Park in Colorado. In fall, I drove to the mountains and beheld some incredible gold trees and hills. Between all these travels, I've gathered hundreds of great photos, hours of lovely video, and plenty of fond memories, especially with the people who were with me.

Even the car accident yielded something good--I purchased a new car, one that performs better and has more safety features.

As far as my favorite things go, movies have let me down, at least to start with. It seems like I always gripe about this every year, only to discover good films later. This year in particular may be unfair because I decided to change the standards in which I view, grade, and evaluate films--an effort to stop myself from liking every film and stopping myself from succumbing to hype. Regardless, there have only been a few films that have blown me away at any level. Some are good. Many are just okay. Many are pretty bad. Many, I don't even know why they exist. As I continue to catch up on 2016 films, chances are I'll find some redemption (especially among Asian films), but for now, I've found most titles disappointing. Even the latest Star Wars film fell a little short.

Video games have been fun, but not really impressive. Doom was cool. I enjoyed Watch_Dogs 2. X-Com 2 was decent. No Man's Sky enthralled me for a short time. Few smaller games, like Dead Star, were pretty neat. But the only PS4 games that really thrilled me this year were remasters, surprisingly. Duke Nukem 3D was a blast to revisit. Bioshock and Dead Island held up pretty well and I still love playing them. Day of the Tentacle was a nice surprise. Of course, it's the Skyrim remaster that really made my year--I always loved the game, and it's all the more beautiful on the new system.

One good thing about 2016 is that I found plenty of decent new music releases to enjoy. Not much pop--I can't even name one good radio single. Some good rock 'n roll though: new albums by Wolfmother and the Heavy have been decent. And, of course, David Bowie's Blackstar is a must. Some great soundtracks--not only the hit movies, but also games. What's really excited me are the heavy metal releases. New symphonic metal has been much better than last year--Tarja Turunen released not one, but two new albums back-to-back this year, and her voice is as potent as ever. I was especially thrilled to hear an actual Bond theme song covered in her style--I thought it was phenomenal. Nice new albums by Delain, Epica, Lacuna Coil, the Devin Townsend Project, Drowning Pool, Filter, KoRn, Megadeth, Metallica, Opeth, Otep, and more. Short though they are, I welcome the new EPs by two of my favorite bands--Therion and NIN. On top of all that, Klayton has been busy--a huge number of remastered albums (all Circle of Dust and Argyle Park), new Celldweller music, and a retro-80s side project called Scandroid all rolled out throughout the year, and they've all been really awesome releases. And there's cool new Blue Stahli music out there. It seems I'm becoming glued to the FiXT record label--they've stirred my imagination greatly of late.

Looking back on all the events, all the ups and downs, all the media, and everything, this has been one long year. It's easy to gripe about the negatives, but there have been positive experiences worth holding onto. And even the bad things have yielded lessons on occasion that will strengthen me. In fact, this may factor into whatever goals I strive for in 2017 (I decided long ago that I hated the term "New Year's Resolution," and opted for "goals" instead).

Thus, my goals for 2017 will be:

• Maintaining a positive attitude. When I was a kid, I discovered that if I lightened up and took things in better humor, other people did too, and life in general became pleasant. It goes in-hand with my belief that everything that goes around comes around. I felt I've been too unmotivated, grouchy, and irritable throughout the year. In '17, I intend to stop letting things bother me. Stop getting wound up and stressed over work and people and other issues. Just take it in good humor--people respond better, opportunities open up more, and reputation improves.
• Better time management. I want to wake up earlier every day, so I can go to work earlier, leave earlier, accomplish more while the sun is still up. I also need to parse out time for the things that will improve my mind and body--time to exercise, read, write, clean, cook, and more. It can all be accomplished if I prioritize better, do things on time, and not let myself become sidetracked.
• My collection of books and media is quite large. It's time to stop collecting and start enjoying. I want to watch the unwatched movies, play the unplayed games, read the unread books, and listen to the music I'm not familiar with. I want to get my money's worth of my media, and I may discover valuable gems I didn't know I had.

I think those will be my main three focus areas. Fitness is something I may continue to strive for, but finding time and energy for that should go hand-in-hand with better time management. Same with writing. Or reading. Or anything else I want to do more of. I think I've already started on improving my output and activities. I'm already confident that 2017 will be a productive year. Hopefully, there will be far less worry and heartbreak, and much more prosperity.