Film Review: Spawn

"The war between Heaven and Hell depends on the choices we make, and those choices require sacrifice." - Nicol Williamson

I remember back in the late 90s, "Spawn" was one of those films that just looked really cool, in the same vein as "Blade" or "The Matrix" (or maybe it's because they all had similar-looking DVD releases). Films like these capitalized greatly on then-impressive special effects, slick cinematic style, frequent action, a dark and gothic subject matter, and really awesome soundtracks. As cool as "Spawn" seems, however, it's nowhere near as cool as these other films.

The coolness of "Spawn" is that it has a lot of action. It doesn't really drag all that much. It has a cool concept behind its antihero character and the overall story; one that offers potential for some epic special effects and some interesting plot twists. And, it has one of the coolest soundtracks on the market.

The lameness of "Spawn" is that the dialogue is often very corny, the villains are standard megalomaniacs, the special effects are horrid (even by 1997 standards), a few parts are way too cartoony for its own good (especially regarding the clown character), the style of editing can be pretty erratic and weird, and the film overall is watered down for a PG-13 rating (even the R-rated cut doesn't really push the boundaries much).

The thing I find most disconcerting is the execution of the story. The original story for "Spawn" is a pretty dark and compelling drama, on a level similar to "The Crow." It was handled with just the perfect level of respect and quality with the HBO animation. This film takes the material, keeps the core story, but skims over a huge amount of the plot in a short runtime. As such, parts of it are rushed and choppy.

Regardless, it does handle a few aspects appropriately. It is inherently compelling to watch the main character suffering betrayal and loss, before being forced to choose between vengeance and morality. It is a story with promise; it's just told in a goofy way.

For what it's worth, the photography is not bad. The film is edited with some really weird and fancy editing effects, which can be erratic at times and stylish in others. With the iffy special effects, the film sometimes comes off as appearing rather gaudy. Still, the actors do their best: Michael Jai White brings the Spawn character to life with just the right amount of emotional punch and machismo, while Martin Sheen, John Leguizamo, and Nicol Williamson all put on very hammy performances (for better or for worse). Despite the gaudy CGI, this production has fine and dandy sets, props, and costumes. Music is really awesome.

I personally recommend the HBO cartoon version of "Spawn" first and foremost, for it is an excellent and earnest attempt at adapting the original comic. This film may have seemed right at its time, but after all this time it's apparent that it's mostly wrong. It does entertain, but interested parties would do better to rent it first and make up their own minds.

3/5 (Entertainment: Good | Story: Average | Film: Marginal)

Film Review: Banlieue 13 (District B13)

"Stop talking and move." - David Belle, regarding parkour

Produced by Luc Besson (one of the coolest directors of all time), directed by Pierre Morel (who went on to make "Taken" and "From Paris With Love"), and starring David Belle (the guy who founded the urban sport of parkour, where people run and move in fancy ways to overcome obstacles), "District B13" is all about style and action, and it's pretty damn cool that way. Action is quite frequent in this film; it showcases some really impressive fights and some really spectacular foot-chases. It comes close to besting "Ong Bak" in terms of quality choreography and jaw-dropping stunts. Oh yeah, it's that good. With tight pacing, a trim runtime, and some really stylish photography and special effects, this film definitely entertains.

The story for this is serviceable; nothing really deep, inspiring, or even original (it actually bears one or two things in common with "Escape From New York"). However, it does have a few fine and dandy twists, and it's pretty easy to follow and relate to the characters; I actually grew to like the cast by the time the credits rolled.  Towards the end, a type of "fight the power" message emerged, which might be seen as a little pushy, dumb, or one-sided; I personally thought it was something of a redeeming factor.

With quality, stylish photography and editing effects, the film looks really cool, especially in the way it captures the action and the seedy ghetto settings. Acting and writing are generally not bad; they get the job done.  David Belle seemed to show a lot of angst, at least in the first half, but definitely showed excellent physical prowess.  Cyril Raffaelli provided a decent counter-performance opposite Belle.  Everybody else is alright.  This production has some really trashy-looking settings and locales, which is appropriate, but it also boasts some nice-looking cars and it does okay with the costumes and props. Special effects are used sparingly, and aren't too bad either. Music is really cool.

As you may surmise, this is not a great film, but it has great action and spectacle. I was plenty happy with the story, even if it isn't the greatest, and I was pleased with the film's style and quality, even if it isn't groundbreaking in any specific way. It's probably one of the coolest flicks that I've seen, French or otherwise, and chances are that if you enjoy action, impressive stuntwork, and stylish cinema like I do, then this film should be right up your alley.

4/5 (Entertainment: Very Good | Story: Average | Film: Pretty Good)

Video Game Review: Bioshock 2

"Love is just a chemical. We give it meaning by choice." - Sarah Bolger

Chances are that if you've played the first "Bioshock" game, you'll be able to jump into this sequel right away and get the hang of it very quickly.  Using the same engine and gameplay style as the first game, "Bioshock 2" immerses the player into the ruined underwater utopia of the city of Rapture once more; the continuing fight for survival and freedom ensues again.  All the things that made the first game good - the combat, the atmosphere, the cute Little Sisters - all return.  But it's not all just more of the same either; the game offers a few substantial improvements that sets it apart from the first game.  For one thing, you're now able to fire your weapon in one hand and use your superpowered "plasmids" in the other all at the same time.  When liberating the Little Sisters from their respective protectors, you now have the option to adopt them (meaning they ride on your shoulder and have them gather more Adam points for you to use).  Weapons are all different, giving you more variety.  The hacking system is totally revamped, eschewing the pipe puzzle and using a simpler, faster, arguably better minigame in which a needle races across a scale and you have to push the button at just the right spot.  The game throws the familiar enemies at you, but adds in some daunting challenges:  Rumblers, which are Big Daddies with advanced firepower, the Big Brute Splicers, which are big muscle-bound hulks, and the Big Sisters, which are similar to the Big Daddies, but terrifyingly faster and more powerful (and have really annoying shrieks).  Altogether, a bigger challenge with a more empowering form of gameplay; it's every bit as enjoyable as the first game, and offers enough diversity to make both stand shoulder-to-shoulder as a complete duology.

The story for this game is quite a bit different as well.  Frankly, I don't like it quite as much as the first game's story:  "Bioshock 2" is shorter, and I found it a little hard (if not annoying) understanding the villain's motivations and her constant ramblings.  I expected more plot twists, like there was in the first game, but it never played out all that predictably (for better or for worse).  But these are minor nitpicks:  the game's narrative structure is still as strong as the first game.  It is especially noteworthy because you're not playing an actual person in this game; it puts you in the shoes of one of the Big Daddies.  Aside from granting you the awesome ability to tread in underwater environments and maul everyone with your drill arm, the game offers some fascinating insight on the characters, especially since your character is always struggling between human compassion and artificial programming (expanding upon the "a man chooses, a slave obeys" theme that was introduced in the first game).  As such, you are once again allowed to make moral choices in the game, which impacts the story.

Gameplay is still top-notch, offering quality graphics and sound, and smooth gameplay.  This production still has a phenomenal art design; it still uses the art deco style throughout the city of Rapture, but never feels like a retread of the first game.  It is especially noteworthy for its new designs for the new enemies, environments, characters, weapons, and everything else.  Voice-acting and writing are not bad at all, and neither is the music.

If you liked the first game, then this sequel should be a must-play as well.  If you haven't, you might enjoy this one on its own anyway.  Either way, it comes recommended!

4/5 (Entertainment:  Very Good | Story:  Pretty Good | Game:  Very Good)

Writing Prompt: Interview a Character

So, for last Friday's writing group, I totally neglected to pick a prompt for everybody to do, and showed up unprepared.  As a result, we came up with a spur-of-the-moment idea; it was something that I considered in the middle of the day, and we just rolled with it.  This prompt is...

Interview a character.  Any character.  It could be a real-life person, like a friend or family member, or a celebrity, politician, historical figure, a stranger you might have seen or met.  My first thought, however, was fictional characters, either in other people's stories or your own.  Just pick a person, and start writing out a question-and-answer scenario (as in a radio or magazine interview).  I generally made up the questions as I went, developing a narrative.  I suppose in a well-planned prompt, you could have names randomly selected in a jar, and a set of questions pre-written for everybody.  As it is though, we all made it up as we went.

For this session, I interviewed Mary Ethel Weiss, the main character from my novel in progress.  Hopefully you can deduce the story's plot with the dialogue.

The most important thing, however, was to hear the character's voice in my head, and build her personality and character up.  I would certainly encourage you to give it a try, for it could help you out in the same fashion.  Coming up with a character and a starting point seemed to be the only hard part; the rest came out pretty naturally.

Without further ado, my made-up interview session went like this:

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Perfectly Inhuman, Mock Radio Interview

Q:  Good morning Cascade City! This is 275.1 FM, NIRC Radio, and I'm here with the one and only Mary Ethel Weiss, once considered the most popular celebrity in the city, but recently seemed to vanish without a trace.

A:  I didn't frakking vanish! I've been in Iron District* for the past few months!

Q:  Iron District? Mary, you're a millionaire and a success! You had a penthouse suite in Golden District**, a nice car, and everything you could ever want! Care to share what happened?

A:  Oh, I intend to.  I want everyone to hear my story.  I want the whole city to know that the Mayor kidnapped me, changed my DNA, tried to brainwash me, and tried to force me to be his wife! They couldn't change me, so I fought back and made it to the Cauldron***, where the Mayor and his goons can't reach me.

Q:  Wow, what a story! I take it you didn't fancy the city Mayor at all?

A:  The man enslaved me and had his people hurt me.  Next time i see him, I'm gonna shove him out the window of the tallest building I can find, I swear!

Q:  It was that bad, huh?

A:  Like you wouldn't believe.

Q:  So what's it like in the poor districts?

A:  There's a lot of hard working folks there.  They've all been friendly and understanding toward me; they helped me get back on my feet.  Of course it's dirty, poor, and dangerous, but we're all just trying to make a living.

Q:  I hear that the Cauldron has quite the night life.

A:  You should come by the Free Radicals nightclub someday.  I sing there every Saturday night.  Just stay away from Suzuki's, that's where all the Tatsuya**** gangsters hang out at.

Q:  Do you miss Golden District at all?

A:  Not anymore.  I don't need all that crap I had there.  Sometimes I miss the shopping, the clubs, the fancy restaurants, but it all feels so cold and stiff in Golden District.  And it's criminally expensive! Ugh.  For the price of one meal there, you could feed an Iron District family for weeks! What's up with that?

Q:  Word on the street is that you've been in contact with the elusive Mr. Zeta and his terrorist group:  the Human Liberation Front¹.  Care to comment?

A:  Yeah.  Don't believe the Mayor's lies.  The HLF are freedom fighters.  They just want to make things fair for everybody, and to bring back natural products into the commercial world.  They aren't terrorists.  Jeez, the government makes them out to be baby killers or something; nothing could be farther from the truth!

Q:  So, since moving to Iron District, how has your career progressed?

A:  It hasn't.  I'm a frakking dock worker now.  The only show business I do is in the Cauldron.

Q:  You might be intrigued to know that Sylvia Lockhart˟ has taken your place as the top pop singer in the city.

A:  Oh, that female dog! You know what, she can have it! I'm done with the North Island Record Company, and I'm done trying to play this stupid popularity contest.  It's all BS; you know what happens when you're number one? You become everyone's enemy.  Even the city's Mayor.  So frakk it.  Let Sylvia take over, I don't care.  Maybe the Mayor can brainwash and marry her, and get off my back for a change!

Q:  So, you'll never release any new music again?

A:  Well, you never know.  I've written a few ideas down.  Maybe if I get enough of them, I'll put together that concept album I've been wanting to make.  It would have to be strictly underground though:  the record company would never release it.

Q:  Why not?

A:  Aside from the fact that I'm a freaking fugitive? Even if they wanted the project, my new music has way too much angst in it for them to approve it.

Q:  Since learning that you're an artificial person, how has that affected your outlook on life?

A:  You know, everywhere I look, everything is fake and man-made.  At first, it hurt me to think that I was just another fake 'thing' in this city's landscape.  But you know what? I have a heart.  Right now, it's filled with rage over the Mayor and this city of his.

...how did you know that I was artificial?

Q:  It's...on my little card here.

A:  WHO SENT YOU?

Q:  Nobody! You came to us!

A:  Frakk it, this interview is over!

--------------------

* Iron District is the manufacturing and industrial center of the city, filled mostly with factories, warehouses, and oceanic docks.  In contrast to Golden District, Iron is a low-class sector populated by the poor.

** Golden District is a secure wealthy district, providing homes and amenities for the upper-class.

*** The Cauldron is an area in the poor districts of the city that contains nightclubs, bars, and other seedy amenities.

**** The Tatsuya Clan is a remnant of the Yakuza, and is employed by the Mayor to maintain a street-level control of Iron District.

¹ The Human Liberation Front are indeed freedom fighters, whose goal is to remove the Mayor and his oppressive system from the city.  Part of their mandate includes liberating the human race from the bondage of rampant commercialization and excess artificiality.  The group is led by Zeta, a well-armed idealist.

˟ Sylvia Lockhart is a pop star who's a direct rival to Mary.

Film Review: Kick-Ass

“Come on, be honest with yourself. At some point in our lives we all wanna be a superhero.” – Aaron Johnson

For the past hundred years, superhero lore has emerged as a type of modern day mythology, depicting these fantastic tales of romanticized vigilantism where all the heroes have some kind of incredible power and they use it for the greater good.  But let’s be serious:  there is no such thing as a real superhero.  In this day and age, however, some people have been inspired by the comics and films and have taken to the streets, dressed in costumes, to fight crime and help the communities.

In light of this, Kick-Ass is a story that eschews the fantasy and candidly faces the facts.  This is not a world where people like Batman, Superman, the X-Men, or whoever can save the day and get the girl completely unscathed.  Nor is it a world where everything is a concrete black-and-white good-vs-evil affair.  Crimes happen and people often just look on without bothering to intervene.  Real heroes get the snot beaten out of them, and can even die; there is no invincibility, only vulnerabilities.  The film shows all of this straight-up, approaching the subject of masked vigilantism in a light that’s far more realistic than most other superhero films to date (a few other good contenders being Super and Watchmen).

However, this film is not all about the realism.  In fact, realism in superhero lore is just something the film harps on sarcastically.  The film has its share of crazy action, extreme violence, and includes some scenes that are just too crazy to happen in real life.  The film is also quite the comedy, loaded up with funny lines and situations that are so sad that they’re funny (or just plain funny).  It pulls a lot of punches, delivering a shock and awe style of entertainment that will likely offend the most sensitive and conservative of viewers (this film will likely be forever notorious for showcasing an eleven-year-old girl cutting people up and cursing like an adult:  you have been warned!).  At the same time, the film is colorful and upbeat, contrasting heavily with the messed-up violence and situations; the poignant combination of light and dark is part of what makes the film so funny, so provocative, and so thrilling.

No matter how offensive or unbelievable things get, the story still matters, and it is quite strong.  With the premise mentioned above, it does invoke some thought concerning masked vigilantism.  It also ties in with the character and helps weave a tale of the characters’ origins.  The film follows the comic pretty closely, with only a few liberties taken (including an alternate take on the love interest, which I find better in the film than in the comic).

The film is certainly stylish, with quality photography and unique editing effects.  There is one scene I find quite erratic with its use of strobe lighting, but it is mercifully short.  Acting is good:  Aaron Johnson, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Nicolas Cage, and Mark Strong all fulfill their respective roles really well.  Exceptional praise goes to Chloe Moretz, whose performance for Hit Girl shows remarkable physical aptitude and skillful nuance (in addition to putting up with the vulgar script).  Writing is not bad, cursing and all.  This is one of those movies that looks more expensive than it is; all of the sets, props, and costumes look snazzy, with just a few weak spots.  There is a plethora of interesting musical choices in this film, and they all help in the experience.

While I find that the vast majority of superhero films entertain one way or another, Kick-Ass is a one-of-a-kind feature that entertains by shattering the standard conventions and smacking the viewers upside the head.  Chances are that some of you viewers will find this distasteful; if you are easily offended, then you should probably avoid this film like the plague.  For most everybody else, it comes recommended!

5/5 (Entertainment:  Perfect | Story:  Very Good | Film:  Very Good)

This film appears on my Top 100 Favorite Movies list at #77.

52 Dumb Things About "Battleship"

Following up on my review of "Battleship," I jotted down all the dumbest and silliest parts of the film and compiled a list, just for kicks.  It's obviously not a film meant for deep thinking or analysis; it's practically mandatory to turn off your brain before watching the film.  I just wrote this up as the film progressed, so it's all in chronological order; the sole purpose of this is just to poke fun at it and have a good laugh.  Maybe you'll get a kick out of spotting these scenes and making fun of them too.  :p

Let the stupidity wash over you like painful shards of glass riding the waves of a sonic boom...

1.) So the special project to beam a transmission into deep space is called "Project Beacon." Seriously?! It's as inventive as dirt.  At first, I thought it said "Project Bacon."
2.) The alien planet is called "Planet G" (later on, they say the actual name of the system, but I forget what it is).  As it is, it sounds totally ghetto to me.  I imagine a planet full of aliens running around saying "what up, G?"
3.) "If there is intelligent life out there and they come here, it's going to be like Columbus and the Indians...only we're the Indians." This line makes it sound like Columbus single-handedly wiped out the native Americans, all at once.
4.) So, apparently, communications transmissions to other planets are not invisible radio/infrared/Voip/photon/tachyon/quantum transmissions of any kind, but a huge, visible laser beam that blasts across space and zaps "Planet G." No wonder they came to kick our butts.
5.) The main character's initial advances toward the love interest revolve around...a chicken burrito.  The man even goes to jail just so he can give his true love...a chicken burrito.  All this trouble for a chicken burrito? Seriously?!
6.) Soccer game scene.  They spent so much film on the set-up, the dramatic slow-motion, and inspiring feel-good moment.  And then...the guy misses.  Probably the worst kick in soccer history, fictional or otherwise.
7.) So, in a manner of days, "Planet G" (ugh) receives the signal and sends out its ships to kick Earth's butt.  Sending an interstellar signal to another planet with modern technology would take years, if not decades or even centuries, to reach any planet that's light years away (a common observation for those who yearn for hard sci-fi, whereas average viewers won't care, but still...).  One could also complain about the concept of alien ships zipping to Earth within a manner of days, but we can safely assume that their technology allows for circumventing, bending, or outright breaking the laws of relativity.
8.) Rihanna...why is she here?
9.) When the RIMPAC exercises commence, Hopper is shown pacing around the bridge, talking about how they're not there to learn, how they're just there to kick every one else's butt...probably the worst sense of professionalism any military person could exhibit, on screen or off.  The man's arrogance and attitude tends to push the limits of what's believable for a military role.  Shouldn't basic training have broken this guy in? Why didn't he go through basic training in this film? Ugh, this is worse than "The Hurt Locker."
10.) As the alien ships race toward Earth, the screen clearly shows them passing Jupiter, Mars, etc all in real-time.  Considering it takes radio (much less radar or anything else) so many minutes to reach any stellar body in our solar system (I believe it's 40 minutes to call Mars), there's no way a ground station could track anything beyond the Moon in real time.  In fact, by the time the ground station picked up anything in the vicinity of Mars, the ships could have already landed.
11.) Sound in space...last time I checked, it's still scientifically impossible.  No air means no sound waves.  Thus, alien ships shouldn't be going "zzzrrrrooooommmmmm!!!"
12.) "What is NASA present in this room for?" Dumbest question ever.
13.) "You're saying that we sent out an alien signal...and we got a response..." It's funny how that works.
14.) Why is it that, anytime something crashes that's obviously an alien ship, everybody assumes it's something else? No, it's not cargo/satellite/Chinese ship! Does it look like one?
15.) Fighter plane ramming into the wall of the big giant energy dome...seriously, if you saw a giant energy wall closing, would you just fly into it?
16.) So, first a space is explicitly sealed off, trapping so many battleships in with so many alien ships.  The battleship fires, then the alien ship makes its move.  Battleship fires, alien ship makes its move.  This game seems rather familiar...
17.) What's up with the bomb that first blows everyone away, then sucks them in for a moment, then blows them away again? Are we in "The Matrix" or something?
18.) Hopper's finally in charge.  He looks around at everyone blankly.  In all this time, the alien ships could have blown all these fools away.
19.) Hopper's first command develops quite the overt Captain Ahab complex.  Once again, not terribly realistic for a military man.
20.) So this alien ship starts launching a bunch of stuff.  And the one soldier's response is "what is that sh*t?!" How eloquent.  It made me laugh.
21.) Ah, another one of those moments where something dangerous is coming, and the guy just stands there and looks at the incoming thing.  I swear, every disaster movie has a moment like this.
22.) The spinning spiny wheels of death roll through military bases and a major highway.  It's really cool! However...it reminds me so much of "The Langoliers." You know, the gaudy Stephen King miniseries.
23.) As the Langolier ball things roll around, it winds up tearing up a ball field, and one of the little league players just stands there and stares at it.  Stupid kid...
24.) How did these Hawaiian cops find the lady and the amputee guy on the mountain? Especially since he just said that all the roads and electronic stuff was blown up?
25.) So these two people had the choice to leave the mountain, but they chose to continue walking.  The jeep was right there; they could have driven up the hill.  Duh!
26.) So, the one lady reveals that her daddy believed in aliens and he knew that they'd come.  Seriously, Liam Neeson? The admiral? The man who's supposed to be a realist? Really?
27.) Is it me, or do the alien suits resemble a futuristic version of the Big Daddy from "Bioshock"?
28.) ...or, the suits could be rip-offs of "Halo."
29.) "I've got a bad feeling about this." Come on, this is obviously a "Star Wars" reference.  Lucas ruined the line already! Stop it!!
30.) "Like 'we're going to need a new planet' bad feeling." Wow.  Best line since the one in "Jaws," when the guy says "We're going to need a bigger boat." For that matter, that line would have been awesome in this film.
31.) So the big guy stands there and decides to have a face-off with the big scary alien.  Fight ensues.  Granted he stopped the alien from touching something that looked dangerous, facing the thing alone seemed foolish.
32.) For that matter, why are these aliens on the ship? If they wanted to destroy all the random machines and stuff, couldn't they just blow the whole ship up, like they did the others?
33.) So the lone alien got shot at point-blank range by a battleship's gun.  Nice.  Problem is, the star of the show was pretty darn close to it too.  Wouldn't the blast have killed him too?
34.) "We got to get off this mountain." What the? That's not what these fools on the mountain decided before! They should have taken the jeep! What fuitcakes...
35.) Oh, apparently, the jeep is right there.  Never mind it took forever for them to get up the mountain and see the wreckage; next scene, the jeep's right there. 
36.) So, the aliens are vulnerable to...sunlight.  Uh huh.  Probably the most unconvincing weakness since the aliens in "Signs," which melted in water.  I expected the aliens to melt in sunlight; that would have been hilarious.  Turns out, they're just sensitive to the light, and wear shades all the time.
37.) Hopper once again proves his ignorance by bashing the "Art of War."
38.) In another scene that simulates the original Battleship game, the battleships in the movie are rendered blind at night, and have to use buoys to form a grid and search for patterns.  That's pretty slick how they squeezed that in there.
39.) These aliens sure weren't smart to come to our solar system, with its sunlight and all, with windows that can break. It's amazing how the snipers win the day just by breaking all the ship's windows.
40.) When the Langolier ball thing is ripping through the ship, the one guy struggles with the door as the thing bears down on him (he already expressed some stupidity by watching it blast through the door, all doe-eyed).  Then Rihanna jumps out from a side passage and rescues him.  Uhh, why didn't he just go through the side passage in the first place, instead of fudging with the door?
41.) When the ship goes vertical, Hopper and the Japanese dude scale the side of it with their bare hands.  What, do they have hands like Spiderman? They should be sliding to their deaths!
42.) None of the characters believed that the USS Missouri could be used in combat again.  You know what:  I don't either.  Even with a crew of 80-year-old veterans running the thing.
43.) Yeah, the veterans running the war.  With all due respect to the veterans, these scenes strain so much believability, it's hilarious.
44.) Despite the heroism and ingenuity of launching a 70-year-old vessel to war against these aliens, if the aliens caused this much damage to modern warships, what chance does the Missouri have, seriously? Especially against the mother ship?
45.) So Hopper makes the ship do this fancy 90-degree turn with the anchor.  Pretty slick, but I doubt the ship could have moved that intensely, much less sustained the strain caused by the anchor's sharp tug.
46.) Wow, the Missouri must have some awesome ammunition in its cannons.  It manages to take out the aliens way better than all the modern battleships combined.
47.) With all due respect to the amputees of the world, I seriously doubt the amputee in the film could lay the smackdown on these aliens like he does here.
48.) There are a bunch of aliens around the satellite array, but only one of them bothers to fight the humans.  Granted that the rest were busy setting up the "ET phone home" signal, it's kinda silly that they let their one buddy get beat up by an amputee and a geek without any backup.  Come on, how many aliens does it take to screw a light bulb?
49.) These aliens are some ugly mothers...they look like a cross between a guy with a goatee and Bigfoot.
50.) Super-duper ammo strikes again! One shell takes out the entire area where the satellite array is.  That's awesome stuff, man.
51.) They had Rihanna on the cast, but she couldn't be contracted or something to make a theme song for the film? Bummer.  I mean, I like the old rock tunes and all, but it seems like it's all overplayed in movies these days.  Every other movie plays AC/DC, CCR, and all these other twenty-year-old rock bands all the time, I swear (or maybe I just have "Iron Man" to blame for this).  Can't they at least move on with modern bands?
52.) Biggest number-one complaint I have:  why do the aliens bother to target only hostile units? In every other alien invasion movie, whether it be "ID4," "War of the Worlds," or even crap like "Skyline," the aliens always slaughter humans and destroy cities indiscriminately.  In "Battleship," they just don't have their heart in total conquest; they react defensively and only attack when they're being attacked (despite the fact that they instigated the attack to begin with).  One could argue that this is because they're just a scouting party and not a full-blown invasion force.  If so, then this is even more dumb, because the scouting party caused so much mass destruction that they drew attention to themselves and doomed themselves from the start (they even let elderly veterans and an amputee defeat them).  A proper reconnaissance would have been discreet.  As it is, however, this entire invasion is specifically set up to incorporate the dynamics of the original "Battleship" board game into the story, and to keep things at a safe feel-good PG-13 level.  Thus, it is contrived.

Worst alien invasion ever! :p

Film Review: Battleship

"You sunk my battleship!" - common phrase when playing the board game; sadly, it's never used in the film

Understanding that this is based on the Hasbro board game "Battleship," and these are the same people who graced the cinematic landscape with all those "Transformers" films, it would take very little intuition to realize that the film "Battleship" is not going to be all about serious storytelling or cinematic craftsmanship. At first glance, it looks stupid, and most folks will agree that it is as stupid as it looks. Just another uninspired alien invasion story, based on the standard and hollow formula of spectacle and style over substance for an instant cash grab. And to think so would be correct; you know what you get with "Battleship," and it's like cinematic junk food.

But, heck, I enjoy junk food now and then. As anticipated, "Battleship" heaps on the cinematic calories with massive, potentially unhealthy doses of incredible special effects, explosive mass destruction, and huge sea battles. The action is quite impressive and well-filmed; combined with some humor, the film succeeds at being an entertaining and eye-catching thrill ride. Above all, this film has a tone and style that never takes itself more seriously than it should. There's no pretension here; the film knows it's junk food, and never strives to be anything more. In spite of that, the film remains a fun, upbeat, and lighthearted adventure.

Now, for the negative criticism: the story is marginal at best. It has just enough substance to service the action, and just enough characterization to understand who the heroes are. However, the main hero proves to be a total jerkwad for the first half of the movie; he acts to arrogantly and aggressively that it's impossible to believe that he could be an actual naval officer. The assumption is that the character endures some change by the end, beefing himself up internally to rise as a proper military leader with discipline and teamwork abilities (which would be very befitting of a film with a cast of military characters), but this change is purely contrived. That's pretty much my sole complaint; the problem is that the film is so light and thin that the audience can easily point out the stupidity of the characters, situations, and concepts. If you don't get hung up on such things, then you can sit back and just enjoy the onslaught of explosions and sea battles. Otherwise, you'll be in for a miserable ride.

The film looks really nice, with lots of slick photography and quality editing. Acting and writing are marginal at best; Taylor Kitsch plays a rather unlikable hero, while the talents of Liam Neeson, Alexander Skarsgard, and Rihanna are thrown into the pot for added star power, and little more. Many of the film's lines are pretty dumb. However, this production spares no expense on the lavish sets, props, costumes, and special effects. Music is nice; Steve Jablonsky formulates a standard, high-impact music score, while lots of rock music is thrown in for the occasional feel-good sensibility.

Like I said, you can probably deduce whether you'll like it or not just from the film's title, trailers, posters, etc. It's a fine romp of an alien invasion film, but if you're wanting more to it, then you're setting yourself up for disappointment. If you aren't sure, then you better give it a rent and see for yourself. It comes more highly recommended to those audiences who can turn off their brains for a while and gape in awe at the massive 'splosions and the pretty alien ships.

3/5 (Entertainment: Very Good | Story: Poor | Film: Marginal)

Video Game Review: Bioshock

"I chose the impossible. I chose... Rapture, a city where the artist would not fear the censor, where the scientist would not be bound by petty morality, Where the great would not be constrained by the small! And with the sweat of your brow, Rapture can become your city as well." - Armin Shimerman

I didn't think I'd like this game when I first demo-ed it four years ago.  Dark, freaky games with jump-scare effects tend to freak me out a little too much.  If there is one thing that attracted me, it was the concept and settings of the game:  a grand art-deco style city deep beneath the sea.  It is as wonderfully rendered and designed as it is imaginative.  If nothing else, "Bioshock" deserves top marks for its original art designs and its visual style.

The game does have its freaky moments though; it is a horror survivalist game first and foremost.  There are several moments where you'll find yourself trapped in a dark, tight space with bad guys (called "splicers") crawling out of the woodwork trying to get you (and some of them literally crawl on the walls and ceilings).  The game's atmosphere is phenomenal:  it's use of light, shadow, sound effects, and textures help generate an unsettling atmosphere.  There were moments that made me jump out of the chair, or just creeped me out completely.

After a while, however, I found myself getting accustomed to the world of Rapture, and I stopped fearing the dark.  One of the game's key features is the use of "plasmids," or superpowers.  While your right hand holds the weapon, your left can be used to summon lightning, fire, ice, a swarm of bees, or whatever else you manage to find or invent (not all at once though, you can only use one hand at a time; this is something that gets rectified in "Bioshock 2").  Weapon and character upgrades help even the odds quite a bit too.  I also found myself having loads of fun hacking into all the different turrets, cameras, and robots to turn them against enemies (hacking in this game brings up a little mini-game that's highly reminiscent of "Wowspill," which is neat).

In order to upgrade powers and effectively progress, the player is often made to confront the iconic character displayed on most of the game's covers and posters:  the Big Daddy.  Going hand-in-hand with the design of the city, this hulking brute appears like a deep sea diver from Hell, wielding either a rivet gun that could blow holes in his enemies, or a drill that will gore his enemies to death.  Fighting these suckers is a challenge, especially at first.  It can be quite gratifying to bring these behemoths down; as a reward, you get to deal with the Little Sister that the thing protects (your choice to either "harvest" her, which grants you more points to spend, or rescue her, which offers less points but is the morally right thing to do, and you'll get a different set of rewards).

It's not all just random running around in a derelict underwater city; there is a story beneath all this slick gameplay.  I always found it a little weird that the main character you play goes from being in a plane crash to jumping smack dab in the middle of this conflict between Andrew Ryan (city founder), and Atlas (rebel).  Still, for a game, you can just roll with the flow, and pick up on all the background info through collecting data tapes (I still would have liked it a little better if more information could have been presented in exposition).  Regardless, the story does pull a few impressive plot twists, and there are some strong themes worth thinking about.  The key concepts involved include the idea that men are born with free will, and you, the player, are town between obedience and free will.

These days, I find myself thinking more and more about the city of Rapture and its founder, and thinking about the implications of what it all means.  The city was built as a utopian sanctum free from politics or religion, allowing its inhabitants to explore art and science without any restriction.  But Andrew Ryan's dream turned out to be folly, for without control or morality, the citizens harnessed the god-like power of genetics and abused the Hell out of it.  It's pretty sobering to imagine all these people turning mad, ripping apart their families and their own city, and ultimately mutating into something monstrous.

Overall, the gameplay is sublime and addicting.  Even though "Bioshock 2" offers a few important improvements (such as remote hacking, the ability to shoot and use powers at the same time, and multiplayer action), this first game in the series has very few weak points.  As far as I could tell, it's glitch-free.  The graphics look decent; the textures and renderings are highly-detailed; most animations look great; the levels are designed with distinction and solid attention to detail.  Sounds are phenomenal, and the music is not bad either.  Voice acting is good.  As mentioned above, designs for the environments and everything within is fantastic.

I think, if there's one thing that really pushed this game over the top for me, it'd be the cute and adorable relationship between the Little Sisters and their Big Daddies.   As perverse as it is to have these mutant little girls sucking the genetic goo out of corpses, I loved the way they wandered around Rapture with their big silent protectors, addressing him fondly as "Mr Bubbles" and singing about nonsense.  Awwww...

"Mr Bubbles!!!"

This game comes highly recommended!

4.5/5 (Entertainment:  Perfect | Story:  Good | Game:  Very Good)

Film Review: The Call of Cthulhu

“The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents.” – H.P. Lovecraft, “The Call of Cthulhu”

Although there is a small wealth of films based on the classic works of H.P. Lovecraft, there has never been anything in the mainstream, and it looks like it’ll stay that way (especially since Guillermo Del Toro’s “At the Mountains of Madness” seems to have fallen through the cracks).  It’s pretty sad, considering that Lovecraft’s work has been highly influential for myriads of modern artists in all genres and mediums; if it wasn’t for him, the works of Stephen King, John Carpenter, HR Giger, and heck, even Black Sabbath and Metallica would have all been different.  As it is, “The Re-Animator” remains the most popular film, and it makes for a fantastic romp of a gorefest film, but it’s still purely cult status.

Even though it may not have penetrated the mainstream, “The Call of Cthulhu” might be the best adaptation of a Lovecraft story to date.  Produced by the HP Lovecraft Historic Society, it shows impeccable attention to the narrative and nuances of the original story, and it follows the story to the letter.  To match up with the era of Lovecraft’s lifetime, the film was even made as a silent black-and-white feature.  Its style is a perfect replication of old-fashioned cinema, complete with over-the-top acting, simple special effects, and emphasis on light and shadow.  It might have even taken some inspiration from the works of F.W. Murnau, due to its emphasis on visual storytelling.

Much like the original story, the “CoC” film starts off a little dry, but eventually moves on to some very intriguing and freaky encounters.  The film’s most interesting highlights will include the policemen confronting the cult of Cthulhu in the swamps of New Orleans, and the final encounters at the lost city of R’lyeh (which is conceived perfectly on screen).  The film definitely succeeds at visualizing the story in the best way possible; a fine blend of style and content.  It is a short film, but it manages to pack in everything it needs to without feeling padded or rushed.

As mentioned above, the story is a very close, if not a perfect, adaptation of the original story.  Characters were never a huge standout, even in the original, but the journey they take to uncover the truth is pretty profound.  The story ultimately uncovers the inherent terror of otherworldly monsters, and the film does a fine job of underscoring that theme.

As silent black-and-white film, the film looks stylish.  In fact, this style helps make the cheapness and amateur nature of the film feel natural and forgivable.  After all, the film has some incredibly cheap special effects, but they are done in a way that looks like something genuinely made in the 20s, so it fits.  Some of the photography is impressive, and the editing is not bad at all.  Acting and writing are not bad, and help get the job done.  This production is not terribly lavish, but it does its best to make the most out of limited budget and resources.  The film has a nice music score which is appropriately moody.

It’s pretty clear to me that “The Call of Cthulhu” movie is a passion project, made by those who respect the source material and have done their best to make a quality adaptation.  I rather wish that more filmmakers could do the same and give Lovecraft’s work a proper big-screen treatment.  Oh well, as it is, this is the best Lovecraft-inspired film to date, and it’s definitely worth a look.

Recommended!

4/5 (Entertainment:  Pretty Good | Story:  Very Good | Film:  Good)

Novel Excerpt: Perfectly Inhuman, Chapter 3

In participating in today's writer's group, I presented this excerpt from one of my works in progress:  a small sample of my novel, "Perfectly Inhuman." This is a story that's taken me nearly ten years to conceive and start producing into a tangible form.

It has gone through a few different conceptual incarnations; it was first intended to be a straightforward thriller of sorts, about a bunch of people trapped in a hovering research station, being hunted by escaped genetically-engineered monsters.  This concept was never really drafted.  Later, I decided to have the story take place in a futuristic city instead; I attempted to make a draft out of this, but got stuck, and it was eventually abandoned.  Finally, I received the right motivation and inspiration; I flipped the story's structure backwards, turned it into a revenge plot, and it's taken off nicely.  I'm currently 115 pages into it, and I see the novel's final acts in plain sight.

The story overall was initially inspired when I first saw the film "Alien:  Resurrection" (yeah, not a great film, but seeing what they did to Ellen Ripley's character helped inspire my protagonist a lot), and when I first saw the episode in "Futurama!" where Leela meets her parents for the first time ever.  The combination of the two helped me conceive of the encounter that's drafted below.  The story overall has evolved into something that I'd describe as a mix of the "Dark Angel" TV series and Fritz Lang's "Metropolis," with a slight pinch of films like "OldBoy," "Aeon Flux," and "The Sixth Day." All of these films have helped inspire me, but it is certainly not my intention to rip any of them off.  The "Hunger Games" novels have been a recent source of inspiration as well (only in the sense that it is distopian and shows a strong schism between the rich and the poor).

So, without further ado, here is one of the initial key scenes of the story.  Taking place in Cascade City, one of the last remnants of human civilization on Earth, the story follows the pop star Mary E. Weiss.  After a thrilling concert, she's fired by her manager.  Policemen show up to take Mary away; they shoot her with a paralytic nanite bullet, and she wakes up in a prison cell.  You're about to find out why this happened...

Do note that all cursing has been censored for the sake of common decency.

Feel free to critique this work.

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Perfectly Inhuman:  Excerpt, Chapter 3

    The guards guided Mary through a set of glass doors in the frosted glass partition, and they passed into a wide open office space.  The office looked much like the lobby, only instead of statues and banners there were holograms and display screens.  Contrasting with the bright floors and the bright exterior view, there was a black desk on one end of the room, made of a rare dark organic wood.
    At the desk was a man Mary only new from the news, the network, the posters, and every other form of government propaganda.  He was the city’s Mayor, Quentin Warhol.  In person, he looked slim and tall, and was dressed in a clean stylish black suit.  His head was narrow and angular, with a sharp chin.  He had green eyes, resembling laser beams that could scrutinize and penetrate everything he saw.  His black hair was neatly combed, and still slick from whatever gel he used.
    The Mayor was accompanied by a woman; a slender lady with well-toned muscles in her arms and legs.  She was clad in a tight nanobine* outfit with a leather coating.  Her face was soft, but her dark eyes were piercing and her dark hair was conveniently tied into a knot at the back of her head.  Glowering at Mary with her sharp eyes, she had a surly expression on her face.  Mary hated her instantly.
    And standing next to the Mayor and the strange woman was Lester**, looking smug.  Mary immediately darted toward him with her fist raised.  Vicious anger surged through her, thinking about Lester’s betrayal.
    Suddenly, Lester pressed the button on his remote taser, shocking Mary.  She stumbled in mid-run, crying out in pain and rage.  She struggled against the frying nerves, and continued to step toward him, ready to at least punch him in the face.
    Then, the strange woman ran up to Mary and kneed her in the gut.  With the wind knocked out of her, Mary wheezed.  The stranger grabbed her hair and threw her head into the desk, shooting pain into her cheek and making her jaw ache.  She tasted blood in her mouth.  The pain, the rage, the iron taste, and the sudden realization that she was helpless and alone, Mary started weeping feebly.
    “Enough!” Quentin demanded. “Tina, stand down.  You’ll damage her.”
    The strange woman named Tina obediently stepped back and stood perfectly still by the desk, though she still glowered wickedly at Mary with a smug little smile.
    Gradually, Mary got to her feet.  Her guards caught up to her and grabbed her arms, holding her still before the Mayor and his company.  Swallowing the blood in her mouth, she asked, “What’s the meaning of all this?”
    Turning to Lester, Quentin asked, “You haven’t told her yet?”
    “What’s the point?” Lester replied. “We’re going to wipe her memory anyway.”
    “Come now, the lady would probably be much more willing and a lot less afraid if she knew the truth.”
    “What truth?” Mary demanded. “What the frakk are you all talking about?”
    “Watch your filthy tongue, slut,” Tina snapped with a scowl.
    Quentin told Mary, “You must excuse my Elite Security Commander.  She can actually be quite the respectable lady when she wants to be.  Can’t you, dear Tina?”
    “Mary Weiss is a whore,” Tina remarked, still glaring at Mary. “I don’t see why any of this is necessary.  Let me take care of her instead.  I can do it very painlessly and easily; a simple snap of the spine, and she’ll be out of her misery.”
    “No Tina, you will not kill the guest of honor,” Quentin chuckled. “There are some HLF terrorists being held in the courtyard prison house; you can kill one of them.”
    “With pleasure, as always,” Tina sighed, before strolling out of the office.
    When she was gone, Quentin continued, “Now, I only think it’s fair that you should know what’s going on, what we plan to do with you, and why.  As you may have surmised, Lester and I are close acquaintances; a liaison with the North Island Record Company, so I can have a loose connection with the city’s entertainment industry.”
    “So the government controls North Island?”
    “We control more than you realize.  Freedom in Cascade City, or the world for that matter, is only an illusion.  And for the past five years, you’ve helped us maintain that illusion, effectively distracting the masses from things that they would otherwise find problematic.”
    Indignantly, Mary retorted, “I am not a sideshow!”
    “Of course not.  You’re a cultural phenomenon! But your purpose is distraction.  Let me put it to you this way:  if a city guard catches a criminal and rightfully executes him in the street, witnesses see it, tell others, and word spreads all over that the police murdered someone.  Before long, people start making demands.  They ask for human rights and civility.  They protest and complain.  They say that the government is corrupt, tyrannical, and evil.  That’s negative press, and it affects everybody.  Negativity seethes into the city and turns its people sour, and in turn forces me to take even more drastic measures.  Remember, it was only seven years ago that the Human Liberation Front infiltrated Capitol Tower and assassinated the Director of Censorship.”
    “I remember hearing about that,” Mary muttered.  It was a major incident in which hundreds of rebels stormed the Capitol district and killed many police guards.
    “Undoubtedly.  That kind of news affects people and their opinions.  And if these kinds of incidents keep reaching people, they start siding with the rebels, and little by little we lose this city.
    “But you give them something good and positive, to balance out all this harsh negative reality.  You provide the escapism, and make people feel good.  You promote the freedom that people really want; freedom of love and sexuality.  With those things alone, people don’t care about murderous policemen, terrorists, or anything else.  Mary, thanks to you, this city is the most peaceful and prosperous in the world!”
    Being praised so richly, Mary felt awkward, and she stammered, “Well, thank you, I guess.”
    “There are a dozen popular artists working for the North Island Record Company now; their work will continue to entice the people for generations to come.  Your role in this is over.  Your career is officially retired.  It’s time for you to move on.”
    “What are you talking about?” Mary demanded. “I was just telling Lester that I want a new concept album! I can make better work still! I can make something that tells the people how I really think and feel!”
    “But that’s not what we want, Mary.”
    Mary’s heart sank and a frown crossed her face, when she realized just how forcibly her career was ending.  With a chuckle, Quentin continued, “Did you not hear what I said? We want escapism! If you intend to populate your music with cold hard reality, then the fantasy is broken, and the people start losing interest.”
    “But…what about my creativity? My art? I still have so much I can do!”
    “This is not about art! Let me tell you, there have been thousands of so-called artists in the thousands of years of history before the Great Floods! Some preached about freedom, others argued for the necessity of control.  Some spoke of love and others about hate.  Some of these artists were praised for their work, and others were burned at the stake! It’s all subjective Mary; all art is judged by the observers and the critics, not the artist.  If your message doesn’t coincide with my objectives, then I will burn you at the sake like the heretic you are.”
    “You frakk!”
    Smirking, Quentin said, “Mary, you have such a perfect body.  It’s only your attitude that needs adjusting.”
    Lester shrugged and said, “Sorry sir, but five years being spoiled rotten, in the hands of so many men, made her a little too demanding and conceited.”
    “Indeed.  I hope the memory wipe will alter this.”
    “It will be a whole new personality.”
    Feeling dread in the pit of her stomach, Mary questioned, “What are you talking about? Why are you going to mess around with my mind?”
    “Like I was saying, Mary, your career is over.  Another artist will take your place; probably that Sylvia Lockhart***.  You will become a whole new woman.  You will be my wife.”
    The words felt like daggers in her ears, and she was disgusted at the very thought of marrying Quentin.  She spitefully retorted, “Like Hell I will! You have a really awful way of proposing! I’ll never be your wife! Forget you!”
    Lester held up his remote taser, but Quentin restrained him and said, “You will be mine.  It’s all been arranged already.  It’s perfect; a partner like you can really boost my prestige and give a good impression to the people.”
    “You can’t do this! You can’t make me do anything! I have rights!”
    “No you don’t Mary.  Only human beings in this city have civil rights.”
    “Are you calling me an animal? I am a human being just like anybody else! Don’t tell me I have no rights!”
    “No Mary, I seriously mean it.  Legally, you have no rights.  You are not a human being.  You are a clone.”

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*Nanobine is a fictitious form of clothing in this story; it is a type of material using nanites (microscopic robots) to allow for changing shape, sizes, colors, and strength.  Nanobine is a common, albeit expensive, material in Cascade City.

** Lester was Mary's manager during her employment in the North Island Record Company.  He was responsible for incapacitating Mary and bringing her to the Mayor's office.

*** Sylvia Lockhart is another pop singer in the employ of the North Island Record Company.  Mary and Sylvia are rivals, even though they work for the same corporation.


Copyright 2012 Alan Paananen, all rights reserved.

FIlm Review: Cutthroat Island

"Congratulations, madam. There's another town you've destroyed." - Matthew Modine

In its day, "Cutthroat Island" was the most entertaining pirate adventure that I was ever aware of. Coming from the director of "Cliffhanger," you just know that this film is going to have enough explosions to make Michael Bay jealous. Sure enough, the film is loaded with explosive action and hard-hitting sword fights. A lot of the action dominates the film's final act, which is pretty much an all-out extravaganza of wild swashbuckling, booming muskets, and ear-shattering cannon fire. The rest of the film is fairly light and adventurous; maybe not perfectly-paced, but not too boring either. It also tries its best to be hard-edged, but it never really feels like anything more than a mere PG-13 flick.  In this day and age, the "Pirates of the Caribbean" series totally supplants this film in all areas.

The story for "CI" is pretty straightforward, and dare I say standard fare. Pirates get a hold of a map, find some treasure, then duke it out. That's pretty much it. The film tries its best to make the plot roll up and down in a standard thrill-ride formula, stretching the thin story out to fill the runtime. Even though it entertains, it's not terribly deep or anything. The best that can be said is that the characters are likable (including the villain).

The film looks nice, with some decent and stylish photography and editing. Acting is not too bad; I enjoyed Geena Davis, Matthew Modine, and Frank Langella in their roles. Writing is not terribly sophisticated, but it gets the job done. This production has sets, props, and costumes that look the part and fit in with the film's settings. Music is appropriately adventurous.

Maybe not the best film in this genre, but it certainly entertains.  It's worth a rental.

4/5 (Entertainment: Good | Story: Average | Film: Pretty Good)

Film Review: Demolition Man

"Send a maniac to catch a maniac." - Sylvester Stallone

This film starts off looking like pretty standard 1990s action fare; you can expect to see lots of cheesy shootings, stuntwork, relentless explosions, etc. The twist is, as the main character is condemned as a criminal, he becomes cryogentically frozen, and is busted out in the future to combat his old enemy again. What comes next is not only more action, but a surprising amount of hilarious comedy.

Most of the film takes place in a utopia that's so ridiculous and absurd, one can't help but to laugh. It's a future where Taco Bell takes over and the one and only restaurant in the US. The radio plays nothing but old commercial jingles from products long past. Sex is nothing more than a virtual-reality video game. Cursing is forbidden, and an alarm goes off every time a character swears. They don't even have toilet paper in the future!

The key element, however, is that all things unpleasant have become forbidden, including violence. So naturally, when the ludicrously violent criminal Simon Phoenix starts rampaging across this utopia and upsetting the balance, the police decide to restore the balance by unleashing another 20th century brute: the Demolition Man. What ensues in between the funny encounters of the 21st century is a thrill ride filled with explosive, over-the-top action. With its fine mix of satirical comedy and thrilling action, the film appeals to all sci-fi and action movie fans.

Most of the story has been described above, and it has its share of brilliance. The satire is frequently dispensed and often funny; regardless of how ridiculous these things are, the film plays it straight enough that it's easy to suspend disbelief. The film goes into some level of plotting and counter-plotting, but it's never complex. It's a light story that's easy to digest, and filled with likable characters.

The film is captured with adequate, but never great, photography and editing. Acting is great from all the parties involved. Wesley Snipes plays the villain so hilariously well. Sylvester Stallone plays his usual action-hero schtick. Sandra Bullock is perfectly perk and peppy in her role. Everybody else is decent. Writing is not too shabby. This production has sets, props, costumes, and special effects that appear appropriately futuristic, but are not aging well. Music is alright.

Recommended!

4/5 (Entertainment: Good | Story: Pretty Good | Film: Pretty Good)

Video Game Review: Dark Void

There is a lot of potential in this game; it's basically like "The Rocketeer" on an alien planet.  You get to play a adventurer of sorts who gets warped through the Bermuda Triangle to a place called The Void, where a race of oppressive aliens called Watchers plot to take over the world.  After a few levels, you get to meet Nikola Tesla, who is also trapped in The Void, and that's when you get your jetpack and take the fight to the skies.  From there, it's a pretty fun romp as you fly all over the place, shooting down UFOs, blowing up the robotic Watchers, and ultimately leading humanity to its salvation.

The biggest draw to this game will be its seamless transitioning from standard cover-based FPS action, to a really neat "vertical cover" option (in which you can jetpack up and down vertical surfaces, shooting up or down or all around at enemies), to just taking off and flying all over the place.  Of course, if you aren't careful, it's all too easy to double-tap the button and have the jetpack slam you into a stone wall, resulting in instantaneous death (which can either be frustrating, or hilarious, depending on the situation).  Overall, I found the combat enjoyable and smooth.  It's made all the more satisfying with the fantastic art designs for the world of the Void, and for the Watchers with their really cool robotic exoskeletons and vehicles.

The story for this game has a cool premise, but its execution leaves much to be desired.  It is successful at merging an old-fashioned sense of adventure with modern sci-fi.  However, the story incorporates an awful lot of cliches, and a lot of the plot elements come off as underdeveloped or unrefined.  The last act feels especially rushed (and as a result, the final boss is pretty darn easy to beat).  The final cutscene proves to be something of a downer.  Overall, it has a few strengths, but many weaknesses.

Unfortunately, the game itself exhibits a lot of weaknesses as well.  Most level designs aren't too bad, but you can expect lots of glitches (including some that affect trophies, so be careful).  Graphics overall are not terrible, but not great either.  Same goes for the voice-acting.  The best that can be said is that the game has some really cool-looking art design, the gameplay feels smooth, and it's not too hard or frustrating to play.  Upon completion of the game, it is very easy to revisit the episodes to find more collectables, trophy hunt, or just to experience things all over again.

This game has its share of weaknesses, and I can't blame folks if they think it stinks.  Regardless, with its easy gameplay and its concepts, I found the game quite enjoyable without being overbearing or overtaxing; it's a casual, relaxing affair.  If you're at all interested, it should be worth ten bucks or so.

3.5/5 (Entertainment:  Very Good | Story:  Average | Game:  Average)

Film Review: The Dark Knight Rises

" I learned here that there can be no true despair without hope." - Tom Hardy

There was a phrase in Batman Begins that not only provided some decent wisdom, but would also define the structure and themes of Christopher Nolan’s Batman saga: “Why do we fall?” “So we can learn to pick ourselves up.” Batman Begins succeeded at detailing the origins, and the rise, of the Batman character. The Dark Knight provided a twisting series if complex challenges that pushed Batman and every other character to their limits, and it ultimately ended with Batman falling from grace, at least in the eyes of Gotham City’s public. Naturally, this finale presents a danger that calls for Batman to come out and literally rise to the challenge.

The Dark Knight Rises has its share of impressive action: there are a few fights and chases in the beginning half, but the most impressive scenes occur toward the end, when the forces of order and chaos clash in the streets. Sadly, these scenes are not nearly as lengthy or awe-inspiring as I would have expected, but what we see on screen is pretty impressive and shows good ambition.

The story still takes precedence overall. It borrows a few elements from the Knightfall series of comics (even more than I expected, actually, and I am pleased; I always felt this comic series would have made for an epic Batman film). The most prominent them, which prevails in both the comic and this film, is that Batman suffers, rebuilds himself, and rises to fight again. Characters remain as strong and endearing as ever, and the film’s new characters don’t disappoint. The film presents Bane as a truly menacing villain with a strong presence, and he fulfills the role of a megalomaniac extremely well (in direct contrast to the Joker, who wanted to achieve the same results but never had the same ambition or intellect). The plot is a little screwy in the way it covers nearly a year’s worth of events in a very short time. Regardless, the film tells the story in a manner that feels neither rushed nor padded. By its end, it rounds off all the characters, all the themes, and most loose ends in a way that satisfies, but also begs for a second glance (and perhaps a sequel, although I doubt that will ever happen).

As expected, the film is stylish, with lots of pleasing photography. The editing is not quite as blunt as it was in TDK, but it’s still distinctive. Acting and writing are great. Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, and Gary Oldman all return and fulfill their roles really well. Tom Hardy and Anne Hathaway are both impressive with their roles. I didn’t expect much out of Joseph Gordon-Levitt, but he exceeded my expectations and provided a quality performance. This production has plenty of good-looking sets, props, costumes, and special effects. Hans Zimmer’s music score is as good here as it is in the other two films.

As it is with other major film franchises (whether it be Star Wars, Pirates of the Caribbean, Back to the Future, etc), Nolan’s Batman saga takes on the familiar pattern where all three films show equal quality, but the first or second come off as the most endearing. I personally find myself sticking with The Dark Knight as my favorite of the lot; I suspect because it did so much that was untraditional in films, much less superhero films. But Rises has its share of strengths, and chances are that I’ll probably grow to enjoy it just as much as the others. Altogether, it succeeds at providing a heck of a grand finale, while still concluding the overall story arc.

5/5 (Entertainment: Very Good | Story: Perfect | Film: Perfect)

Film Review: The Dark Knight

"This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object." - Heath Ledger

Having established Batman as a butt-kicking ninja-trained hero in Batman Begins, TDK takes the characters and story into the next level; one that is deeper, darker, more convoluted, and ultimately more intense. I think that while the previous film still bears the semblance of an average superhero film, this sequel strikes me more as a crime drama; there are no megalomaniac plots or outlandish supervillians, the focus is more on the ramifications of Batman’s actions (socially and personally) and the ongoing conflict between order and chaos within Gotham City.

The story has its share of action (the police escort scene has got to be one of my favorite car chase scenes of all time) but none of it is as frivolous as it would be in any other action movie. All of the action and violence occurs through the tragic consequences of the story, which takes on many drastic twists and turns (sometimes straining to suspend some disbelief). At its core, the story focuses really well on the themes of social and personal corruption, terrorism (strong parallels to modern issues in combating terrorism, and the film even includes a little blip about privacy invasion), and morality. In fact, morality is the prevailing element, for Batman’s moral code is tested and pushed to its limit; much of the story’s conflicts revolve around him trying to maintain it in himself and others.

Going hand-in-hand with the story is a strong group of characters. Bruce Wayne probably doesn’t get as much development as he had in Batman Begins, but the Joker and Harvey Dent definitely take precedence and are portrayed perfectly.

The biggest thing that catches my attention in this film (and in all things in general) is duality. The Joker is presented as the perfect foil to Batman; both characters are equal and opposite, and exert an equal and opposite force onto Gotham City. The Joker’s lines say it the best: “This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object.”

As such, the writing is really impressive, as is the film’s direction. Much of the photography is great, and the editing style is very interesting. Acting is impressive; Heath Ledger performed perfectly as the Joker, and Aaron Eckhart is effective as Harvey Dent. Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, and Gary Oldman all return with pleasing results. Maggie Gyllenhaal stands in for Katie Holmes’ character, offering the only weak performance of the lot. The production value is high; the film has some impressive set pieces, locations, costumes, and a slick style overall. And the music score is awesome as well.

For a while, I called this my top favorite superhero/comic-book themed film, and it took its place as my fourth favorite of all time. Highly recommended!

5/5 (Entertainment: Perfect | Story: Perfect | Film: Perfect)


This film is #4 on my Top 100 Favorite Movies list.

Film Review: Batman Begins

"If you make yourself more than just a man, if you devote yourself to an ideal, and if they can't stop you, then you become something else entirely." - Liam Neeson

Following the works of Tim Burton and Joel Schumacher, Christopher Nolan presents a new and improved Batman movie more heavily grounded in reality (or about as real as a comic-book hero film can be), and with a strong emphasis on in-depth storytelling and style.

Despite the emphasis on character development and drama, the film is entertaining. It might even be more entertaining than all the other films before it. Action is frequent and impressive. Some of the fights might be hard to see with the shaky cameramanship and fast editing, but the car chase, the stuntwork, the (few) special effects, and the finale are all very noteworthy. In between the major action scenes, the story moves with a fast and tight pacing. There’s hardly a dull moment.

At its core though, this telling of Batman presents a very strong story, filled with deep characters, strong themes, and detailed nuances. The story itself is pretty solid, for as the mystery unravels it proves to be cleverly sublime and tight. What is most important is the character development though; Bruce Wayne’s origins are explored in depth and with solid reasoning behind his ascension into a masked vigilante. Going hand-in-hand with this portrayal are strong themes about fear, morality, and ultimately the value of decisive action. And as the Batman character comes into a fully-realized being, a lot of interesting concepts are poured into it like hot iron filling an ingot; using fear as a weapon, the principles of ninjutsu, the power of symbols, to name a few. And on top of all that, the physical genesis of the character is explored more thoroughly than ever before; we finally see where he gets all his cool gadgets from, where his costume came from, how he gained the trust of key law enforcement officers, among other things. All of these concepts work together to make the story more believable, whereas in previous movies nothing was defined and everything about the character simply existed without any basis. The movie gets high marks as it is for utilizing previously unused opportunities. I’d give it even higher marks for its strong themes.

As a film, it is interesting. Photography is superb throughout, with plenty of unique imagery and camera angles. Editing is very rough, with some choppy action scenes, but most of the time it works to create a unique and frenetic style. Acting is excellent all around; Christian Bale shows both aggression and subtlety in his dual-natured role, Michael Caine makes for a wise and witty butler, Cillian Murphy and Liam Neeson are cool as the villains, and Gary Oldman is perfect as Jim Gordon. It’s also pretty cool seeing Katie Holmes, Morgan Freeman, Rutger Hauer, and Ken Watanabe in the mix. Production value is very high, with loads of excellent sets, props, costumes, weapons, cars, gear, and everything else. The music score is epic!

5/5 (Entertainment: Very Good | Story: Perfect | Film: Very Good)