Video Game Review: Bulletstorm

"What happy horse-s**t is this?!" - Steve Blum

Bulletstorm just looks and sounds like more of the same:  you play some dude with a gun, and you run around and shoot things.  It does have plenty of other things that pushes it above and beyond the regular FPS fare though.  If nothing else, the game is a phenomenal blast, largely because the game really tries its best to mix things up and make you do more than just shoot bad guys.  To really succeed in the game, you need to "kill with skill," by sliding, kicking, and whipping your opponents and hurling them all across the map.  You gain some decent bonus points for environmental kills, or for really inventive kills.  The game itself is hardly repetitive:  it takes you through a pretty well-rendered environment that contains huge ruined cities, weird mutated ecologies, and battered spaceships.  You will be pitted against a few annoying bosses, but one of the coolest highlights is taking control of a mechanical Godzilla-like creature and stomping on a hoard of enemies! The game overall is crazy, over-the-top, and rather juvenile; it all makes for a satisfyingly fast and furious piece of pulp sci-fi shoot-em-up action!

The story is pretty straightforward, but it does have merits.  You play a space pirate seeking revenge against a military general (who, in turn, is one of the most stereotypical and ridiculous generals you'll ever see).  The game explores enough of the character's past to explain what happened and how things came to where they are now; it is pretty interesting to see how the guy's own problems (especially alcoholism) brought on his own misfortune.  The game digs up even more drama when the guy's best friend becomes a cyborg, and is constantly struggling to maintain his humanity.  Other than that, however, the game's actual plot is pretty standard, taking you though one level after another with the usual boss battles and some contrived twists.  All of the dramatic impact is further beaten down by a certain faux gung-ho attitude, the constant swearing, and all of the characters' bickering.  Characters can actually be pretty annoying this way, although I thought a lot of their dialogue was very silly and laughable.

This game uses good, not great, graphics.  The visuals are cool in parts, but textures and renderings are average at best.  The levels are very linear, and their designs are generally okay.  This game has plenty of neat and imaginative-looking sets, props, costumes, and locales.  Controls are generally good; it may take a little getting used to, especially with using secondary firing modes.  Voice-work is appropriately over-the-top, but the writing is quite silly and simplistic.  Music is okay.

Bulletstorm is short, pretty stupidly-written, very juvenile, and very over-the-top, but it is still pretty darn fun.  It's worth a rental for anybody who likes sci-fi shooter games.

4/5 (Entertainment:  Perfect | Story:  Pretty Good | Game:  Average)

Video Game Review: Singularity

Nowadays, it seems like shoot-em-up games come a dime-a-dozen, but most of them try to stand apart with some clever trick or gimmick.  In Singularity, the gimmick is that you have an experimental device that manipulates time and allows you to use it as a weapon.  Imagine being able to aim at a broken ladder, and reversing time on it, so that it bends and folds back into a usable shape.  Or, aim it at a box to age it instantly, causing it to collapse into a rusted old heap.  Better yet, aim it at a hapless Soviet bad guy, and watch him age into a skeleton, just like that guy from the ending of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.  Isn't that cool, or what?

The game is pretty darn fun.  It is pretty much more of the same by shooting game standards: you crawl through a handful of levels, confronting some waves of bad guys and creepy monsters.  You do get a unique assortment of weapons, including some fancy variants on rail guns, rocket launchers, and sniper rifles, all of which allow you to guide your projectiles to their targets.  The most unique thing is the fancy device that controls time, allowing you to send things and bad guys forward or backward in time.  The game is short (perhaps too short), it runs fast, and it's not too frustrating overall.

The story is pretty neat; you basically play a special forces dude who explores a lost island with the ruins of an old Soviet research station.  The story takes some pretty interesting twists and turns, as you constantly flip back and forth between the past and present to alter the future.  Time paradoxes occur constantly, but the game never really addresses the issue.  The story overall presents a pretty sobering theme that the more you mess with the timeline, the more hopeless things become.  You do get to chose between three different endings at the end, all of which presents a fascinating alternate-history scenario.  Still, the game doesn't offer much character development or that much of a thoughtful plot.

It is a neat-looking game with solid graphics quality.  Textures and renderings are a little rough around the edges, but still have some great-looking parts.  Level designs are pretty decent.  It can take a little bit of a learning curve to master the time-controlling mechanism and all its firing modes, especially when using it in tandem with your standard weapons (some of which are a little unwieldy as well), but once you get the hang of it, the controls are okay.  This game uses pretty stereotypical and over-the-top voice-work and writing.  Most settings, props, characters, creatures, and weapons look great.  Music is alright too.

There's nothing ground-breaking about this game, and it is pretty short, but it is a blast and it does have a few cool ideas.  For anybody who likes shooter games with a twist, this should be worth renting.

4/5 (Entertainment:  Very Good | Story:  Pretty Good | Game:  Pretty Good)

Film Review: Godzilla 2000 (Gojira ni-sen Mireniamu)

"Godzilla is... inside all of us!" - Takehiro Murata

Just a year after Roland Emmerich's version of Godzilla blessed the world with its presence, Toho decided to start all over again.  This rendition of Gojira eschews all the previous sequels, and takes directly after the original 1954 film.

The film certainly has its moments.  Godzilla does his thing as usual, stomping on buildings and crushing things like it's nobody's business.  This time, however, there's also a UFO in the mix, which wreaks even more havoc and transforms into one ugly mother... Inevitably, the two beasties duke it out, and Tokyo is destroyed yet again

The film will appeal to fans the best, because it's all back to basics with this film.  There are no gimmicks, tricks, or fads pulled out in this film; it's just a straightforward monster flick with straightforward action.  Unfortunately, that also means that the film drags in certain spots, as it focuses on characters who never really amount to much of anything.  The story overall is pretty weak and flimsy, and nothing really stands out about it.

The film is also marred horribly by its overall quality:  the SFX are terrible by any standard, the monsters and models look dirt-cheap, and the acting and writing are pretty bad.  On top of that, if you watch this with English dubbing, you'll expose yourself to some pretty horrible voice-work (I can't keep a straight face anymore, thinking about the line "this missile will go through Godzilla like crap through a goose!").  Photography and editing get the job done, but are nothing worth screaming about.  The music (aside from using the classic film's theme) is pretty horrible.

The film has its moments, but at first, I was a little appalled by it, thinking a little too much like some kind of DTV trash.  It's not quite that bad, and Godzilla fans might still get a kick out of it.  Still, there are better films in the series.

3/5 (Entertainment:  Pretty Good | Story:  Average | Film:  Poor)

Film Review: Godzilla: Final Wars (Gojira: Fainaru Uôzu)

"Well now, let's enjoy the main event. The last chapter in the Godzilla saga." - Kazuki Kitamura

Godzilla might be the one character on film with the longest history. It's just like James Bond: it never really dies or ends, it just keeps coming back decade after decade in some new hip style.

After twenty-plus Godzilla films, Final Wars presents the last foray in the classic series into the crazy world of rampaging monsters toppling cities (in the same fashion as Die Another Day was the last Bond film of the initial series that went crazy with the gadgets and evil megalomaniacs and such). If nothing else, Final Wars goes all-out in shoving in as much epic action, as many monsters, and as much glorious cheese as it can! And it does so with flash and style!

Really, the film is utterly stupid and laughable. The acting is very cheesy (especially when watching it with English dubbing), the action is very over-the-top, the monsters still look fake as hell, and the production overall is as cheap as they come. The film also has a ton of scenes where they tried their best to be modern and cool; you can expect to meet a squad of dudes who twirl around with guns, as if they came from Equilibrium. And, there are car chases and fight scenes galore. Of course, the main highlight is the mass carnage caused by the monsters, and the film doesn't disappoint on that level: in addition to Godzilla, there are also flying bugs, rampaging lizards, and aliens destroying practically every city in the world. A whole gang of monsters from the older films return, including Mothra, Gigan, Rodan, Ghidorah, Ebirah, and so many more! They've even thrown in Zilla, from the much-hated '98 US film in the mix! Godzilla's son appears in all his stupid glory!  Oh yeah, it doesn't get much bigger than this!

The story's pretty silly, the characters are pretty flat, but what really matters it that it's basically the end-all-be-all war of monsters. The first half of the film sets things up fine and dandy, before all heck breaks lose in the last half. Nothing terribly deep, but it's cool all the same.

This film is quite cheesy. It does have fine and dandy photography. Editing can be pretty hectic and erratic (especially during the opening credits scene, which includes some cool clips from the last 20-something movies). Acting and writing are pretty bad. This production has some very cheap-looking sets, props, and costumes. Music is pretty cool.

This is the type of kaiju film I find myself enjoying more and more: it's the type that doesn't take itself seriously, and knows how to have a good time. The film moves fast, has loads of action, and has a pretty generous helping of cheese. If you don't mind that kind of thing, then this movie should be a must-see!

4/5 (Entertainment: Perfect | Story: Average | Film: Average)

Book Review: Saga of Seven Suns Book I: Hidden Empire (Kevin J. Anderson)

"'Momentous events do not happen in an instant,' [Basil] said, as if convincing himself. 'Today, we mean to set the course of history.'" - Kevin J. Anderson

I have fond memories of reading Kevin J. Anderson's Star Wars novels, so I was curious to see how one of his more original sagas would play out.  It's immediately apparent, however, that his Saga of Seven Suns is pretty huge:  there are seven of these books altogether, and the first book alone is well over 600 pages long.

The story certainly has its moments.  It is rather surprising and weird to see that it's not straight-up sci-fi, like I expected, but it seems to have a lot of fantasy elements to it.  Even though there are other planets and stars, aliens, robots, and some far-out technology, it's a pretty odd universe with kings, heraldry, and a race of green people who use trees for FTL communications.  The extravagance and political maneuvering reminded me a bit of Frank Herbert's Dune, while the story itself seemed to resemble something out of high fantasy.  It is a very imaginative universe with a lot of interesting concepts, ideas, and fantastic worlds.  The story does boast some exciting action, plenty of drama, and some romance.  It all moves pretty fluidly; the book is big, but not too wordy or dense, so it makes for a pretty easy read.

However, I also felt that it was a pretty dry book, and my interest in it varied from section to section.  The length is pretty daunting, and given the actual plot, I'd say that it could have easily been trimmed down a lot, and it could have gotten to the point quicker.  By nature, the book jumps around multiple characters and viewpoints, which offers a very broad scope and insight on the universe and the events.  It makes everything seem rather random, and it makes the plot meander around a lot.  Very little of the characters really stood out to me; even though they have just enough depth to drive the story, their personalities never really kept my interest.

The book's composition gets the job done; as mentioned above, it isn't hard to read.  It does seem to me that nearly every page is filled less with action and detail, and more with a description of what each character is thinking, what the implications of their actions are, and massive amounts of background information.  This strikes me as a pretty serious violation of the "show don't tell" rule, and often times, some of the ideas become redundant or dragged-out.  I think it makes the book even more dry to read.  The overall style and syntax of the text is good, but not great.

I'm sure that, with the next six books, everything likely comes together into some massive story arc.  I'm sure that there's a method to the madness.  On its own, however, The Hidden Empire comes off as pretty long-winded and random, for a plot that could have been covered in a tighter and shorter novel.  I think the best that can be said is that the author definitely flexes some decent world-building muscle.

3/5 (Entertainment:  Average | Story:  Average | Book:  Average)

Writing: Sketches from the Void

Even though my own drawing skills are very amateurish, I do endeavor to sketch out certain scenes and designs from my work from time to time.  For my current novel in progress, Void, it's somewhat helpful and important to draw out what a starship, an alien, a planet, or any number of other futuristic things could look like.

Thus far, I've taken the time to make the following sketches, to help visualize certain scenes and figure out what certain things might look like.  They aren't anything terribly great or detailed, but by my standards, I'm fairly proud of them.

Above is the dorsal (top) hull of the Sprite V1 starfighter, the main fighting machine used by the characters in the story.  You'll notice that unlike the fighters you see in things like Star Wars or Battlestar Galactica, there is no transparent canopy.  The idea here is that the pilots are encased in a totally opaque and heavily-shielded cockpit, and the walls project the image of the exterior (with relevant HUD overlays).  This fighter is also directly controlled by the pilots' brainwaves, so most information (such as speed, direction, distance, danger, etc) can be pumped directly into the pilots' senses.  In this specific scene, I have this fighter floating through a nebula (all the weird blobby things in the background), but I currently have no specific place in mind yet.

This was an older drawing I made, in an attempt to conceptualize the enemy craft.  I thought it would be far more menacing and interesting to make the ship less mechanical and more organic in nature.  At the time, I didn't have any specific idea of what the hull's composition would be or how it works; it would be completely alien, for all intents and purposes.

In this close-up of the alien ship's tentacle-like structures, which I've drawn as having a mechanical-looking exterior, but with an organic-looking shape.  Upon drafting the book, I've described this as having neutronium hulls (the same substance as what's found on neutron stars, which are super-dense), but are flexible enough to move and "breathe" like an organism.  These structures can suck in and absorb ambient light and energy from the universe to fuel the rest of the vessel.

The alien vessels in this story can destroy planets with shocking ease, thanks to a special invisible whip-like weapon.  The idea is that it strings together a long chain of ionized particles, and makes each particle so dense that it carries its own gravity.  It's a thin thread so dense and disruptive that it can cleave entire planets, or entire groups of spaceships, with just a few lashes.

In one of the major battle scenes, a group of starships are able to defend a planet from alien attack.  Even though the enemy hulls are made from neutronium, the other ships are able to modify their weapons to penetrate the dense armor.  They make short work of the first enemy craft, but more follows.

The face of the enemy:  The Korzoch.  As part of the story, these aliens evolved on a rogue planet that orbits a black hole (in theory, live evolved on the planet totally independent from a light source with matter that accreted around the black hole falling on the planet and evolving into strange, scary-looking things).  As a result, the Korzoch evolved into a nocturnal race, with just a single optical visor-like eye across their faces.  Their heads are covered by a weird hood of skin, much like the hood of a cobra.  Their bodies are pretty fleshy and somewhat flexible, and they'd have a tail growing out of them.  Even though they appear humanoid, the closest thing they could be classified as would be like a worm with a head, hands, and feet.

Those are the best drawings I've done so far on this project, and there is a chance I might make more.

If you have even the most basic drawing ability, I certainly encourage you to make sketches of scenes, characters, objects, and other things from your story.  You may find that drawing out a vague idea from your head can give it a shape and form you may not expect, or might find appealing.  It's a good way to let your imagination run free, and it could help come up with new things to insert into your own project.

Film Review: Man of Steel (Revisited)

"You can save her, Kal.  You can save all of them." - Russell Crowe

Superman has always been one of the most quintessential superheroes of comic-book lore.  It's hard to top a man who can fly, zap things with his eyeballs, see through walls, move faster than a speeding bullet, jump over buildings, survive just about everything, and live for centuries.  On film, the Man of Steel has been treated with varying degrees of class and cheese; Richard Donner's films are iconic in themselves, and Bryan Singer's film had its moments.  Given the success of The Dark Knight trilogy, it was only inevitable that filmmakers would try to put a more earnest, serious, heavy-weight spin on the saga of Superman.

Unfortunately, this is still not a perfect adaptation.  Many critics and film-goers have written this film off as stylistically gaudy, crammed-full of gargantuan action scenes laden with one too many camera zooms and shakes, and with a narrative that's wonky.  It has become the biggest love-it-or-hate-it film of 2013.

I, for one, love the film, despite all its excesses and problems.  The action continuously blows me away; the film is loaded with huge-scale action, the likes of which blows most other superhero films out of the water.   It gets relentless as superpowered characters slam into each other at rocketing speeds, blasting entire city blocks in their wake. In some of the most frightening and intense scenes, alien machines pummel huge parts of Metropolis to a flattened ruin.  Even when the mass destruction isn't on full display, the film still moves fast and fluidly.

A lot of the film's momentum can be attributed to its narrative, which is purposefully mixed-up so that the film doesn't waste that much time covering old ground.  The relevant parts of Superman's origins are covered in flashbacks inserted at key moments.  This does create a jarring shift that may throw viewers off, but I felt the pacing was perfect.  Everything else plays out in a pretty straightforward manner.  What really matters, however, are the characters, which are at their strongest.  The film intimately explores the title character, not only through the snippets of the origin story, but also in exploring him as an outcast full of emotional vulnerabilities.  The film shows what he learns from living among humans, and underscores strong themes of morality.  There are also some deviations that I think benefit the story (primarily, Lois Lane is no longer a total ditz).

There are still a few nitpicks, however.  I never did get used to the notion that Superman could be seen as a threat to humanity (perhaps because I've been spoiled by the older films, where Superman saves people and is cheered; here, he saves people and gets into trouble).  The fate of Jonathan Kent is a rather manipulative scene.  The most critical viewers would also make the same complaints as with Zack Snyder's other films:  too cold, not enough depth.

As mentioned before, the photography can be rather gaudy, with frequent use of zooms, some camera shaking, and some scenes with bright flashing lights.  Personally, I never found it all that problematic; most of the film is still pretty solid, and I think the drama scenes boast some of the best shots, with frequently intimate close-ups of specific characters and objects.  Editing is pretty interesting, for better or for worse.  Acting is a surprising treat:  I think Henry Cavill is superb as the title character, and everybody else is pretty decent.  Writing gets the job done.  This production has fine-looking sets, props, costumes, and locales.  Special effects are plentiful, some looking great and others looking a little underdeveloped.  Hans Zimmer's score, much like the film itself, has been criticized for being too much shallow noise, but I personally love the music for its simple themes and powerful spirit.

In fact, that pretty much sums up my stance on Man of Steel:  it's noisy, but I still find it moving.  It may not be a perfect or beautiful film, but it has the perfect pacing, and it is a film with power.  Not only power in the action scenes (of which it does have plenty), but also power in the characters, and their struggles in finding strength and a place in the world.

5/5 (Experience:  Perfect | Story:  Very Good | Film:  Very Good)

At the time of the film's release, I posted this review, which I don't think was particularly good, and an article where I rambled on about how cool the film is.

Writing: Novel Excerpt: Void Chapter 9

Approximately 35,000 words later, here is one of the more exciting scenes in my latest project. Enjoy!
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                After ten days of dedicated training and drilling, the squads moved on to more advanced tactics and combat simulations.  The pilots found themselves spending endless hours, flying through simulated space, shooting at targets with all manner of weapons.  Their training even covered unconventional weaponry and hazardous flight conditions.

                Jack monitored his squad’s progress closely.  TSgt. Val Manson took the training most seriously, and received the highest scores of the squad.  SSgt. Aizu Yishima’s scores were exceptionally high as well, especially in the various combat simulations.  SSgt. Misti Hernandez had a bad penchant for flying and fighting too aggressively, often causing her to make decisions that put herself in danger.  Elyssa, Zack, Brock, and Asheminja had very even scores across the board.  Nikola, Monica, and Rowan were still struggling in certain areas, but were meeting the bare minimum requirements.  It was only Astronaut First Class Patrick Davis that lingered behind; he was capable of flying and shooting, but he often lost control of his craft, sending it spiraling out of control.  In some simulations, he accidentally got his squad mates killed with collisions or friendly fire.

                One of the most intense combat simulations had the squad flying over the surface of a Hot Jupiter planet; the squad flew along the dark side of the gas giant, to shield itself from the intense heat of the nearby blue star.  Inside the simulator, Jack could see the swirling surface of the red and orange world, occasionally lit up by fierce lightning storms.  With winds exceeding a thousand miles per hour, the bands of colored clouds drifted beneath the fighter swiftly.  At the edges of the planet, where the star’s intense heat and radiation licked the sides of the planet, there were wisps of hot energy, and a bright aurora was blazing on the planet’s atmosphere.

                Ahead, there were several targets; one large battleship, and a squad of fighters, all of Terran design.  Jack spoke over the comms, “Ghost Squad, get ready to engage.  Just like we planned; stay flush against the planet’s atmosphere, and let the gravity do the work.  Be careful not to fall into the planet, and stay on the dark side.”

                The enemy targets started toward Ghost Squad, unleashing a torrent of bright pulses from their particle cannons.  The squad broke apart to evade the flying energy pulses; most of the beams passed into the stormy surface of the planet below.

                Jack’s computer locked onto the enemy formation, and he fired a missile at them.  As the rocket soared ahead, the targeted fighter pitched up and started to fly away from the planet.  Having to fight gravity, its ascent was too slow.  The projectile slammed into its underside, blowing the craft into a cloud of debris.  The wreckage whipped by over Jack’s vision.

                The other fighters in the squad targeted and fired their missiles, which streamed up and caught some of the enemy by surprise.  Several of the fighters were shredded to pieces and obliterated.  Zooming past the fields of debris, Ghost Squad pushed toward the main target.

                Straddling the terminal line of the planet, the battleship’s shields became ablaze as half of it was exposed to the blue star’s direct light.  Its cannons targeted the fighters and started firing endless streams of laser fire.  With split-second reaction time, all of the fighters were able to pitch and roll out of the path of the laser beams.  The squad broke apart and widened their formation, drawing the battleship’s fire wider and farther apart.

                Approaching the battleship, Aizu unleashed all her missiles at the vessel’s bridge tower.  Some of the battleship’s cannon fire shot the rockets down, but a few of the projectiles broke through the ship’s shields and rammed into the structure.  The tower’s side was blown off, its walls breaking off.  Crewmen on the bridge were sucked into open space.

                Zooming toward other sectors of the ship, Asheminja and Val pounded the aft section with their cannons and missiles, obliterating the engineering sections.  Pieces of the hull plating were torn off, exposing more and more of the interior decks.

                Nikola said, “I can get a good shot at the reactor from here.  I recommend all craft pull away from the target now!”

                All fighters close to the ship veered away, flying back into the planet’s dark side.  Observing his squad’s progress, Jack warned Patrick, “Ghost Ten, fall back now! It’s going to be danger close very soon!”

                “Ugh,” Patrick replied. “I’m trying! Gravity is a total b*tch!”

                “Use the gravity to your advantage, fall down to the planet and ride the momentum back to the safety zone,” Elyssa explained. “Idiot…”

                Indignantly, Patrick cried, “Sorry I’m not a tactical genius like you!”

                “Just do it,” Jack ordered. “Ghost Eight, take the shot as soon as he’s out of the way.”

                “The window is closing fast,” Nikola warned, as he continued to fly forward, dodging the battleship’s cannon fire.

                Swinging around the battleship, Patrick’s fighter dipped closer to the planet’s surface.  The side of the U-shaped craft became exposed to the star’s direct light, reflecting brightly.  Jack warned, “Hurry it up, Ghost Ten.  You’re in the hot zone!”

                “Holy crap,” Patrick exclaimed, as his systems started to overheat.  The fighter’s hull plating buckled under the intense bombardment of pure heat and radiation.  As the fighter flew into the planet’s dark side, its hull plates ripped off, with a trail of shrapnel and leaking coolant behind it.

                “Holy crap!” he cried again. “Just lost my starboard bulwark! I’m losing coolant like crazy!”

                “Just, keep on that trajectory, and ride the gravity towards us,” Jack said. “Ghost Eight?”

                “I only have a minute left, or else I’ll have to make another pass,” Nikola explained.

                Watching Patrick’s descent toward the planet’s atmosphere, Jack ordered, “Do it.”

                “Package is away,” Nikola said, as his fighter launched a warhead.  The projectile flew directly into the battleship’s exposed engineering decks; it slammed into the reactor room and detonated, breaching the matter/anti-matter chamber.

                As the matter and anti-matter collided, its detonation caused a brilliant flash of light that blinded Jack’s vision for a moment.  When the light faded, the entire battleship was reduced to a field of shrapnel that either burned up in the star’s light, or fell to the planet, turning into fiery streaks as they entered the atmosphere.

                Patrick’s fighter was suddenly struck by falling wreckage, which chipped away at his hull plating and pushed him deeper into the planet’s stormy surface.  He screamed as his descent became uncontrolled.

                “Calm down, Davis!” Jack yelled. “What’s your status?”

                “I’m screwed sir!” Patrick exclaimed. “I can’t break into escape velocity at this angle! I’ve lost my stabilizing thrusters! The MAM reactor’s overheating! Crap, it’s all going to hell!”

                “You can make it out of this, if you calm the hell down and do what I tell you to,” Jack calmly assured. “Bring your bow up slowly.  You need to get into a stable orbit, before you can break free of the gravity.  Just take it one step at a time.  Ghost One, see if you can get down to him and use your tractor beam to help him out.  Ghost Six, cover them, make sure there’s no more debris flying around.”

                Asheminja and Val flew closer to the planet, try help Patrick out.  Val dipped lower into the atmosphere, directly above Patrick’s damaged vessel.  He engaged the tractor beam:  a steady stream of ions touched the dorsal side of Patrick’s fighter, pulling it into a more stable trajectory.

                Patrick tried to pull his craft up, but he cried, “I can’t do it! The ship’s not responding!”

                “It’ll be slow, but you are making progress,” Jack assured.

                “Come on, Davis,” Val urged. “I can’t carry you on my own; the gravity is pulling both of us down.   I need you to pull up!”

                “I’m trying!” Patrick shouted.

                “Try harder.”

                As Patrick struggled to pull his craft out of the atmosphere, Asheminja darted over the other fighters and shot down some flying debris from the enemy fighters that were previously destroyed.  As she blasted away clouds of the wreckage, pieces were flung out in all directions.  She warned, “Heads up, there’s debris everywhere, and I can’t guarantee that they won’t hit you.”

                “Keep up the controlling fire,” Val urged. “We don’t want to get hit by any of that stuff.”

                Asheminja twirled and rotated her fighter in all directions to vaporize as much debris as she could.  Some random pieces were flung into the planet below, and she cried, “There’s incoming!”

                One large piece rammed into the dorsal side of Val’s craft.  It rolled uncontrollably, causing his tractor beam to yank Patrick’s fighter upwards.  The momentum flung Val deeper into the planet’s surface, where his fighter disappeared into a cloud of rushing gas.  Caught in a thousand mile-per-hour hurricane, his fighter was flung through the orange clouds for miles on end.  With each passing second he remained in the storm, his fighter lost more and more of its structural integrity, with the friction of the atmosphere and the stress of conflicting air pressure systems.  He cursed as hull plates started to peel away from the vessel.

                Patrick’s fighter was flung upwards, rushing to escape velocity.  He was hurdling directly toward Asheminja’s fighter; she saw his approach and darted out of the way just in time.  Upon doing so, her fighter ran through a cloud of wreckage, which cut into her fighter and sheared off part of her hull.

                Patrick continued to spiral out of control.  In a panic, he cried, “Oh no, oh frakk me, I can’t stabilize! I’m–”

                With his matter/anti-matter reactor overheating, his fighter suddenly became engulfed in a powerful blast of energy.  He was vaporized instantly; the shockwave pushed the surrounding debris into the planet’s surface, and Asheminja’s fighter plummeted down with it.

                Then, the simulation ended, and all of the training pods opened up.  As the pilots wearily stepped out of their simulators, Elyssa approached Patrick and yelled, “You are such a frakk-up, Davis! You killed two of us out there, all because you couldn’t keep yourself together!”

                “You think you could do better?” Patrick defensively clamored. “I was doing the best I could!”

                “You flew too close to the hot zone, and you know it!”

                “Tech-sergeant, stand down!” Jack commanded.  Stepping closer to them, he said, “That’s the whole point of these simulations:  to identify our weak spots and improve on them.  So, squad, what went wrong? What can we learn from all this?”

                Glaring at Patrick, Elyssa said, “Some of us still need to learn how to fly right.”

                “Hey, I don’t need to take this from you or anybody else.  This could have happened to anybody!”

                “No it couldn’t have, because I wouldn’t have gotten myself in the same s**t-storm you did.”

                 “You don’t know that, Kuntz,” Jack retorted. “The lad’s right, this kind of situation could happen at any time.  It could have been you caught in an uncontrolled gravitational descent.  You have to stay calm and remember what we learned before.  SCUE:  Stabilize, Correct, Upward, and Escape.  You all remember what that means, right? Stabilize your descent.  Correct your angle so it’s not all that steep.  Angle yourself upward, and push it to Escape velocity.”

                “I tried that!” Patrick said.

                Val suggested, “Maybe you should have considered ejecting.  As bad of a shape as your fighter was in, reaching escape velocity might not have been possible.  That was a call you had to make, but you panicked.”

                “I…I know…”

                “Maybe that’s another lesson to learn,” Jack said. “Know exactly when to eject. That was a tough simulation, and these are good lessons we can learn from it.  I want all of us to focus on learning from our mistakes, rather than to point fingers at each other.  I want another two hours of sim-time from everybody today, level three environmental programs.  See if you can apply what we learned.  Davis, let’s talk about what happened.”

                Jack led Patrick to an empty office branching off from the training rooms.  As soon as Jack closed the door, Patrick defensively exclaimed, “Sir, TSgt. Kuntz is right, I am a screw-up.  I can’t ever seem to keep things together!”

                “Nobody here is a screw-up,” Jack countered. “I am concerned though, because you currently have the lowest score of the lot so far.  From what I see, you panic too much, and it causes you to lose control and make things worse.  Your synch-ups are instantaneous, so I know it’s not technical or anything.  I got to know, what’s going on in your mind when you hook up to the machine?”

                “Well…I don’t know.  I guess it has always made me feel uneasy, sir.”

                “Are you comfortable allowing an AI to access your thoughts?” Jack asked. “You do know that the machine never goes in any deeper than the surface-level commands.  The fighter doesn’t ever get to know your inner-most thoughts and secrets; it’s only there to accept your commands.”

                “I know, and it’s not that.  Having an AI reading my mind doesn’t bother me,” Patrick expressed. “It’s something else, I don’t know.  I get uneasy, and anxious.  I think it’s just the nature of flying that makes me nervous.  If it’s one thing these simulations have taught me, it’s that things can go to hell really fast.  We’re travelling at thousands of miles per second in an airless environment, surrounded by radiation and rocks and stuff that could kill us all instantly.  I can’t help but to get jumpy, thinking that one wrong move could mean instant death.”

                Jack said, “Well, that’s the vicious cycle of death.  You make yourself too anxious, worrying about things like this.  And then, you know what happens? You get yourself killed anyway, because you lose control.”

                “Yeah! So, how can I maintain control? How do I keep my cool the way you and everyone else can?”

                “Believe me, it’s not easy.  We’re all nervous, we just learn to overcome it and keep focused on the mission.  You just can’t dwell on things; do not fly around, worrying about the dangers and what could happen.  You just got to keep your mind focused on the mission, and doing your job.”

                “That’s easy to say, but in the heat of the moment, it’s impossible!”

                “I know.  But that is why we are here:  to be brave.  We have an obligation to Star Force to face death and danger head-on.  They would even say that we may need to give up our lives for the human race.  If all else fails, think about that.  Think about, who would suffer if you fail.  Think about Manson and Saj during the last sim.  Think about everybody else being evacuated from the Earth. They’re all counting on you, and all of us, to protect them.  Maybe then, you’ll be able to stop being a nervous wreck, and act like a real pilot.”

                “Yeah, I think you’re right, commander.  Next time, I promise to keep it together.”

                “I hope so,” Jack said. “The next simulation will be the last, before we get to fly the real thing.  I want your last sim test to be perfect.”

                “Thank you sir, no pressure at all,” Patrick sighed.

Film Review: Stealth

In 2005, when I saw the trailer for this sucker, I couldn't have been more excited. Futuristic planes zipping across the skies, blowing the crap out of each other...hell yeah!

When I got around to seeing it, I couldn't have been more disappointed. Even though the planes are cool and there's a ton of fun action and SFX, the movie turned out to be very flat, shallow, and nerve-wracking. In Rob Cohen's attempts to shove the sensation of flying at supersonic speeds in the viewers' faces, he purposefully shook and shimmied the camera in every way he could. There are so many shakes, zooms, pans, moves, and shakes that it becomes irritating to watch even the standard war room scenes. Did I mention that the camera shakes a lot?

The good news is that there are still some cool things to the film. I always did enjoy the aerial combat scenes, despite the shakiness of it; among the film's highlights, the futuristic jets engage in some thrilling dogfights, blow up a massive airborne tanker, and does some incredible low-level flying all over the place. These are moments that are fairly cool and fun to watch.

The story, however, leaves much to be desired, and I think that's the film's biggest downfall. The characters are as shallow and stereotypical as they can be, and are utterly forgettable by the film's end. I actually think the characters of the GI Joe films are a grade better than this! As for the plot, it covers some interesting ground, but is really just more of the same: pilots blow some stuff up, plane goes crazy, they have to rescue their wingman, blah blah blah. Themes of technology and morality are glossed over, but never fully explored.
This film uses some pretty horrid photography and editing. Acting is pretty lame from the cast, and the writing is terrible. This production does use some awesome sets, props, costumes, and special effects. The music score by BT, one of my favorite electronica bands, does have some cool parts. The film also uses some songs I personally like.

Stealth kinda straddles the threshold for me between being a total disappointment and a guilty pleasure. It has an irritating style and there's not much to the story or characters, but it does have its moments.

3/5 (Entertainment: Good | Story: Marginal | Film: Poor)

Film Review: Thor: The Dark World

Thor - Norse God of thunder and perhaps one of the most surprising additions to Marvel lore - returns to his fantastic universe that blurs the line between ancient myth and science fiction.  Kenneth Branaugh's film has always felt like a "good but not great" affair, so this sequel had nowhere to go but up.

Naturally, there are loads of great action scenes throughout the film, with Asgardians, humans, and evil dark elves fighting on land, sea, air, and space.  Among the film's highlights, the elves' raid on Asgard is a fantastic sequence with spaceships zooming around the city and shooting things up.  The final act presents a wildly imaginative sequence with characters duking it out across multiple worlds.  In between, the film goes through plenty of compelling drama, but a lot of it is ultimately crushed by the comedy; hardly a moment goes by without something funny or ridiculous.

The story continues after the Thor film and The Avengers in a logical manner, continuing the established character arcs.  The plot itself is a stand-alone affair, and can be watched pretty easily on its own (you do not need to see the other Marvel films to understand The Dark World, since most connections are passing references, and the narrative does its job of setting things up).  The plot goes through a pretty standard structure, but I was intrigued to see where they were going with everything; there are a few surprising twists and turns, and the film takes the characters to bold new directions.  A lot of the characters are fairly one-dimensional (especially Thor himself, the main antagonist, and the scientist characters, who are there mostly for comic relief), but everybody's favorite supervillain, Loki, easily steals the spotlight.

This film pretty standard photography, but I think it is meritable for being solid, having good movements and angles, and generally allowing the action to speak for itself without being stylistically excessive (thus, all the weird Dutch angels from the first film are nowhere to be seen).  Editing struck me as being a little screwy in a few scenes, but is mostly spot-on.  Acting is good:  Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston, and Anthony Hopkins all reprise their roles admirably (Hiddleston has especially grown into his role most comfortably).  Natalie Portman continues to play a rather ditzy love interest, but she is given more in this film.  Everybody else is decent, although I don't think Christopher Eccleston stood out much at all.  Writing is not bad, although I felt that the film's explanation of the Aether and its connection with things like dark matter and the universe in general was pretty weak (pretty much technobabble just for the sake of it).  This production has decent-looking sets, props, and costumes.  Most special effects are cool, but I thought that some of the backgrounds and starfields looked a little low-rez.  Music is alright.

Thor:  The Dark World is a grade better than the first Thor film, and it's an easy recommendation for fans of the Marvel films.

4/5 (Entertainment:  Good | Story:  Pretty Good | Film:  Good)

Film Review: Ender's Game

It seems as though all the great sci-fi takes forever to become films.  It took over seventy years to give John Carter his big-screen debut.  I had a copy of L. Ron Hubbard's Battlefield Earth that claimed that it would become a motion picture soon, but that never happened until almost twenty years later (and many would probably argue that it should not have been made).  Ender's Game is another one of the best sci-fi novels I've read, and a film for it has been in development for something like ten years.  So, in 2013, I couldn't have been more excited.

Ender's Game is kinda like The Hunger Games set in outer space, only more aggressive, more fantastic, and more original.  EG has its fair share of special-effects-laden spectacle, with massive swarms of spaceships and incredible planetscapes filling up the screen.  Fortunately, it's not all just action for the sake of action, it is all a direct consequence of the story.  When the space battles aren't breaking out, the film still moves very fast with loads of character-driven conflicts.

The film still maintains most of its focus on telling the story, and it does hit up all the necessary plot points that were in the original novel.  Some major subplots get cut out, the training/battle scenes are truncated, and various other liberties are taken, but for a two-hour movie, the filmmakers did their best to cover the entire plot, right up to its bizarre ending.  A lot of scenes are exactly as I pictured them from reading the book (even the fantasy CGI mindgame scenes, which I always fancied should be animated Pixar style, and it turns out they were!), and the dark aggression of the book is mostly translated well into the film.  Best of all, the book's biggest twists still bear some decent weight in the movie's narrative.

Unfortunately, some things are lost in translation.  Just as it is with The Hunger Games, the specific nuances of the characters, their relationships, their emotions, and their overall pathos is better conveyed in the narrative of the book than it is on film.  Ender's relationships with his friends (and even his enemies) are left at the surface level, and never really reaches the same depths as the novel.  Some things remain unexplained or glossed over.  Deeper themes are never fully explored.  Although one can't expect every single thing in the book to make it into the film, EG falls just a little short in immersing the audience in the characters.  It may be easy to root for Ender when he stands up to his bullies and commands a whole fleet, but the film won't eave that much of a lasting impression.

As a film, it looks pretty slick and stylish, with solid photography and editing.  Acting can be rather mixed:  I think all of the child actors did their jobs really well.  Harrison Ford gets the most grief for his role, for he pretty much phones it in, but I still didn't think he was as terrible as other reviewers make him out to be.  Ben Kingsley plays it kinda creepily in his role, and Viola Davis is pretty much herself.  Writing in this film is okay, but has a rather bad penchant for exposition.  This production has some good-looking sets, props, costumes, and special effects.  The music score is not bad either.

As usual, the book is better than the movie, but I think the movie still does a good job as an adaptation.  I expect that average audiences unfamiliar with the book will think this movie is okay, but might miss out on certain nuances.  Book fans might gripe that the film doesn't do justice to certain things.  In any case, I think the movie is worth a rent to all dedicated sci-fi fans.

4/5 (Entertainment:  Very Good | Story:  Good | Film:  Pretty Good)

Writing: Novel Excerpt: Void, Chapter 1

National Novel Writing Month has started for 2013. It is an annual challenge for writers to try and write a novel in the course of a month. The goal is to reach 50,000 words in 30 days; having done this for a couple of years now, I find that this challenge is certainly do-able, and can be quite motivating.

This year, I decided to work on a project that I've been struggling with since high school. This year's novel is called Void: it takes place in a distant future, where the human race has expanded to other worlds and has become part of a larger galactic community, but falls under attack by a mysterious alien race that destroys the Earth's sun. When these aliens threaten other stars in the galaxy, war breaks out on all fronts.

This idea initially came to me during a physics class, when we were discussing black holes. Since it takes so long for light from other stars to reach our eyes on Earth, the thought occurred to me that we don't really know whether or not the stars we see at night actually exist. I felt it was a scary notion to consider that there could be an alien race that's exterminating all the stars in the galaxy, but we'd never know about it. I originally tried to draft this as a trilogy, but the draft proved to be very weak; looking back on it, I realize that there was nothing creditable about it, the dialogue was way too silly, and the writing overall was rather immature. I was also a little hung up on trying to make it hard sci-fi, but I think I failed miserably; I decided that focusing too much on science is a distraction and obstacle more than anything, so I'm keeping it soft sci-fi in the new draft.

I am currently 14,000 words into the new draft, which is way ahead of schedule, and I think the story overall is coming together pretty decently. Below is an excerpt of the first chapter, which details my main character performing a test flight on a prototype starfighter, as part of a competitive bid. Enjoy!

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                Jupiter loomed over the lifeless, icy plains of Europa; the gas giant’s massive red spot perpetually swirled with the full force of never-ending storms.  The gargantuan planet took up the entire horizon, its bands of red, orange, and yellow clouds drifting across its diameter hypnotically.

                All across the ice moon, deep cracks and fissures criss-crossed the hard surface, scarring the satellite with dark lines.  Cutting across rugged, frozen surface was a single vessel:  a miniscule single-man spacecraft with a pill-shaped chassis, with small wings extending from its sides.  A black canopy jutted from its body, tapered to a point, making it look like a small metal bird with a black face.  As the Starhawk X32-model fighter accelerated along the moon’s surface at Mach 20, its friction against the thin atmosphere created a blazing hot wake behind the craft, which reacted with the ice and melted long streaks as it passed by.  Geysers of ice crystals flew up in mighty blue and white jets.

                In the fighter’s cockpit, Master-Sergeant Jack MacDougal watched the expanse of Europa’s jagged surface zooming past him.  With Jupiter’s enormous red spot directly ahead, it looked as though the planet itself was watching him with an ominous red eye.  It was a reminder to Jack that there were eyes on him from afar; General Hafford and corporate executors monitored his flight on the Aegis Space Station, 20,000 light years away in Fenorian space.

                The thought of being scrutinized so intently made Jack a little uneasy, with a multi-star general and prestigious corporate executives watching his move, and with a multi-billion-dollar contract riding on his success.  It was the most important and prolific assignment Jack had undertaken in his career.

                For such a demonstration, a good pilot would fly on the designated course with no deviation or showmanship, strictly adhering to all the rules and guidelines to be the shining example for all Star Force pilots.

                Jack was not chosen to be a good pilot.  His superiors agreed that, if they wanted a perfect flight, they’d let a machine take over the craft.  They wanted an imperfect, perhaps even reckless, flight.

                Holographic controls hovered in front of Jack’s eyes, constantly displaying his speed, trajectory, fuel, power, weapons, and other statuses.  Grabbing the control staff, he throttled ahead, pushing his speed to Mach 23.

                As the dark Europa landscape rushed past him in a blur, a voice called out over the comms, “Tango One, you are exceeding high-hypersonic thresholds.  Slow down!”

                “How else are we supposed to know what this piece of scrap can do?” Jack retorted, his Scottish accent annunciating each vowel long and deep.

                “We won’t know much if you fly fast enough to rip the ship apart!” the mission commander said. “We’re going to deploy the package in ten.  Get ready!”

                “I was born ready.  Let's get on with it!”

                From orbit, the battleship Perseverance drifted over the testing site, twenty miles over Jack’s fighter.  Along the starboard hull of the long, skinny, hardened vessel, one of its hangar bay doors slid open.  Several small pods accelerated from the opening, and descended toward the surface.  As the small pods breached the atmosphere, the friction against the thin air caused their hulls to glow red.

                Through his display, Jack could see the pods descending ahead of the fighter, appearing as small streaks of fire.  When the pods came close to the surface, their outer casings popped open.  Drones shot out from the discarded shells; they were small robotic orbs that flew fast and straight toward Jack.

                An alarm beeped in the cockpit, and Jack saw the warning in front of his face:  the drones had a lock on his craft, and they were aiming laser cannons at him.  Jack immediately pulled hard on the staff, and his vessel spun in a tight, fast barrel roll.  A red laser shot out toward the fighter, but missed it by several feet.

                As he continued to spiral, Jack felt himself being pushed into his seat by the intense G-forces of his maneuver.  The spinning view of the moon’s landscape made him dizzy and sick.  Despite the disorientating spinning, the fighter’s computer highlighted the drone on Jack’s display.  He squeezed the trigger on his staff, and the fighter’s guns sent out a short burst of laser pulses.  His shots hit the small drone’s casing, and sent it spiraling out of control.  It landed hard on an icy field, exploding to pieces as it ruptured the ground and caused a geyser.

                Ahead, another drone leveled over the moon’s surface and bore down on Jack.  Jack banked to the right, just as the drone targeted him.  A laser beam sizzled past Jack’s canopy, narrowly missing the cockpit by mere inches.

                When the targeting computer locked onto the oncoming drone, Jack fired at it.  His shots missed, as the drone darted to the side.  He followed the small device, but his computer beeped in warning.  His display showed two more drones closing in on him from his aft.

                In a split-second decision, Jack pulled up on the staff, pitching his craft skyward.  As he accelerated, his craft’s thrusters impacted the icy ground, causing a large eruption of melted water.  His fighter shot upward, just as a drone flew toward him and passed through the eruption of ice and water.  As the machine’s casing was pelted by ice chunks, it was shredded to pieces.

                Another drone closed in on Jack as he flew upward, swerving around the geyser before shooting upward.  Jack immediately cut off his thrusters, allowing the fighter to drift to a halt.  As the moon’s gravity pulled his craft back to its surface, he performed a 180-degree flip, so that the ship faced the ground.  As his fighter descended on its own momentum, he closed the distance between him and the drone.  Squeezing the trigger, he shot the drone down, his laser beams slicing it to pieces.  Parts of the machine flew up at the fighter and clattered against the hull.

                Pulling on the staff, Jack leveled off and applied his thrusters again.  He sped forward, crossing miles of flat terrain in a matter of seconds.  The last two drones acquired him, and zoomed after him.

                Jack suddenly dived into a deep gorge.  He sped through the narrow icy canyon, watching the passage’s twists and turns carefully and flying in perfect alignment with the winding path.  As he banked around the canyon’s curves, the drones struggled to follow him; one of them tried to match his speed and trajectory, but couldn’t make the turn sharply enough.  It smashed against the wall of the canyon, bursting into metal shrapnel with pieces of the wall crumbling down.

                The last drone rose above the canyon and targeted Jack from above.  Pitching up, Jack immediately flew out of the canyon and headed skyward again.  The drone fired at him, but he spiraled and banked erratically to evade the lancing laser beams.  Ahead, he could see the Perseverance, well outside of the testing area.

                Flying toward the battleship, Jack broke through the moon’s atmosphere and performed a run along the vessel’s hull.  The drone continued to follow, also flying close to the battleship’s surface.

                On the comms, the mission commander shouted, “Tango One, what the hell are you doing? You’re way outside of the testing zone! You’re not supposed to be here!”

                Ignoring the message, Jack continued to fly close to the battleship, with the drone following.  Looping around the battleship’s bow, Jack made a pass around the bridge, which was housed in a tower that jutted from the vessel’s dorsal hull.  As he performed a tight arc around the tower, the drone followed and tried to match Jack’s trajectory.  Unable to keep up, the drone hit the tower and was shattered to pieces.  Its remains drifted quietly in open space.

                Moving toward the battleship’s hangar decks, Jack brought the fighter through an open door and flew down the narrow corridor of the flight deck.  He approached the open space to land his fighter and maneuvered into it.  With the landing gear extended, the Starhawk fighter settled gently on the deck, the battleship’s artificial gravity keeping it secured in place.  Inside the pressurized hangar, the engines roared loudly, but gradually died as the thrusters cooled down.

                The canopy opened, as a number of flight deck mechanics and engineers ran toward the craft.  One of them set a ladder up against the fighter’s hull, and Jack climbed out of the cockpit.  Once he set foot on the deck, he unzipped his flight suit, so that he’d feel less constrained by the tight-fitting layers of sustainment foam and thermal material.

                The personnel bustling around the fighter tended to the vessel’s power, fuel, and computer readings, to ensure that it was working optimally.  Reading the stats of the flight on a tablet, one of the engineers remarked, “Looks like smooth flying.  The MAM reactor held up flawlessly, the computer worked at 80% efficiency, life support was good…”

                “Yeah, she flies alright,” Jack said. “Seems like I felt a wee bit of drag when flying against gravity.  I don’t know, but I don’t think the computer can compensate for that right away.”

                “Well, that’s always been a problem with these Starhawk fighters.  This is still a better record than the older X2 models.”

                “It was a good run, I think I could get used to flying in these regularly.  I hope Star Force considers giving the contract to these Kuahlee-Dureg lads again.”

                One of the other crewmen warned, “Heads up, commander, the shirt’s heading your way, and he’s pissed.”

                “Ah, what else is new?” Jack mumbled.

                Moving across the hangar deck, he moved toward the pilots’ locker areas, where he shed his flight suit and all the layers beneath it.  After taking off the protective outer layer, the thermal layer, and the sustainment foam, he was left in his standard uniform, which was a standard black and violet shirt with the Star Force insignia printed on the breast, and dark-colored khaki pants.

                The mission commander entered the locker rooms with a surly expression on his face.  The lieutenant approached Jack and exclaimed, “What do you think you’re doing out there? You were supposed to stay on the moon’s surface! At no point were you ever supposed to approach this ship! You deliberately breached the testing zone and intruded on observation space!”

                “Yes sir.”

                “Is that all you have to say? ‘Yes sir’? Does that mean you knew that what you did was wrong?”

                “No sir, I don’t believe what I did was wrong necessarily.  But I do know that I did break away from the testing zone and entered the observation zone.  That’s why I say, yes sir.”

                “You just don’t care, do you, MacDougal?”

                “I do believe it was Captain Miller who said that they wanted me to be a wee bit unconventional on this flight, and that General Hafford would love to see it that way.”

                “The General wants a demonstration of the new fighter, but what you did was sheer exhibitionism.  You could have put yourself and everybody on this ship in mortal danger, just so you could fly laps around us and show off like a damned fool!”

                “Yes sir.”

                “You listen to me, sergeant,” the lieutenant seethed. “You’re under examination to become a squad leader.  If you’re really going to take that responsibility seriously, you better stop acting like the immature street trash you are.”

                “Street trash?” Jack said.  After a tense moment of glaring at the mission commander, he added, “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

                Turning away, the lieutenant left the rooms, muttering, “I hope to God they bust you down to Astronaut Basic someday.”

                When the officer was out of earshot, Jack muttered, “I hope to God somebody pulls out whatever it was that crawled up your arse.”