At the very least, enjoying films that everybody else dislikes is a matter of personal taste. At the most, it’s a bold stand against haters and critics, and maybe an act of rebellion. Either way, there are a healthy number of film I enjoy, but few others do. Sometimes, I know certain films are bad, but I enjoy them anyway for whatever reason. Other times, I’m perplexed as to why certain films are universally hated. I don’t really care what other people may think of my tastes: these are the films that make me laugh, make me feel excited, and capture my imagination in different ways. These are the films that beckon me, as if to say “come on, watch me! You know you wanna!”
These are my guilty pleasure films: the ones I love, but receive little love elsewhere. Some of them will be movies that are so bad, they’re good. Others are novelties that I enjoy. Most will be failed blockbusters and box-office bombs, and many may have been forgotten in time. For me, however, all of these films have had me coming back for more. In fact, most of them are films I disliked at first, but grew to love them on repeat viewings.
In a way, I tend to value these films more than what is on my Top 100 Favorite Movies list. I suspect it’s because some of these are more unique, or they’re more entertaining and enthralling, or just plain funnier. Or, it could be because a lot of these films have been with me my whole life. Chances are that you’ll read through this list and think of me as an unsophisticated idiot. Whatever. Good or bad, I love all these films, and I probably wouldn’t recommend them to anybody else but me.
Without further ado, here is my Top 100 Favorite Guilty Pleasure Movies! All of these films have either ranked "rotten" on rottentomatoes.com (a percentage, usually less than 50%), OR achieved less than a 6.0 (out of 10) on imdb.com. These are not in order of the scores, however; due to the combination of entertainment value, resonance, and replay value, these films are simply ordered based on which ones would I watch more than the other.
Here it goes...
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100: Satan Met a Lady
Guilty of: Misconceived and silly.
What I say: This is basically an adaptation of The Maltese Falcon, as a comedy. Somehow, they took a serious, gritty, hard-boiled thriller and morphed it into a silly, irreverent comedy. It’s certainly not the stuff dreams are made of, but the film is short, sweet, simple, has a decent style, and a few amusing moments. It’s good for a quick laugh or two.
My score: 3/5
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99: Dungeons and Dragons
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| So where can I get blue lipstick from? |
Guilty of: Cheap, silly, horrible writing and acting, and some folks are offended by Marlon Wayan’s character, calling him a racial stereotype.
What I say: Oh man, this film sure is cheesy. It might even be the cheesiest of all the films I’ve seen. Even Jeremy Irons’ performance is cheesy: he ramps the cheese up to critical mass! It’s a cheap and silly film; I was initially drawn to it for its special effects, but even those are pretty weak. What matters here, however is the execution. Sure, the special effects are cheap, but they’re well-executed, and bring some fairly cool dragon battles to life. The film hardly drags, and it has the right spirit and tone. As a lighthearted adventure, the film is at least partway successful.
My score: 3/5
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98: Entrapment
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| Be honest...this is the only scene you enjoy watching in this movie... |
Guilty of: Weak plot, considered a bore.
What I say: Strange though it is to pair sixty-something Sean Connery with twenty or thirty-something Catherine Zeta Jones, they share some interesting scenes together, and pull off some cool heists that felt fairly high-tech at the time this film was made. While films like the Ocean’s 11 remake and the Italian Job remake will remain my personal favorite heist films, I’ve enjoyed Entrapment just as well over the years. Watching CZJ moving through the lasers in a skin-tight outfit didn’t hurt either.
My score: 3/5
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97: Batman and Robin
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| Holy s**t Batman! |
Guilty of: Too much cheese, too many bad jokes, horrible acting and writing, too much flair and style over substance.
What I say: This one definitely ranks pretty high on the cheese-o-meter. It can be hard to take the onslaught of ridiculous dialogue (rendered exceptionally ridiculous with Arnold Schwarzenegger’s constant one-liners, Uma Thurman’s overly-dramatic monologues, and George Clooney trying too hard to act cool) and the onslaught of bright colors and gaudy production value. I still give it credit for entertaining: the action is certainly frequent and flashy. Humor can be a huge hit-or-a-miss, but the overall tone is appealing. Despite all its stupidity, there is something about B&R that keeps me entertained and sometimes coming back for more.
My score: 3/5
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96: Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within
Guilty of: Dull story, no emotional impact.
What I say: When I first saw this film, I was as enthralled as I was pleased. It was technically impressive for its fantastic digital renderings: I still think it contains the best and most real-looking animations for human beings to date. There is action to be had. As far as the story goes, I really dug it when I was younger, and parts of it stood out to me. Today, not nearly as much, else it would have ranked higher.
My score: 3.5/5
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95: Virus
imdb score: 4.6 | RT score: 9%
Guilty of: Predictable, poor story, poor acting.
What I say: Parts of it made me laugh. Parts of it were wicked. If nothing else, the special effects are cool and it’s pretty exciting to watch this killer alien cyborg running amok. It’s definitely lacking in story development and originality, but it makes up for it by just being loud and fun.
My score: 3/5
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94: Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
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| In reality, Kirk is only two feet off the ground. |
Guilty of: Well, it’s an odd-numbered Trek film. Everybody knows the even-numbered ones are the best. Also, largely considered the worst of the series due to its plot, poor special effects, being boring, iffy handling of theology, and Sybok.
What I say: I’d say I enjoyed this film as much as the other old Trek films. The action is plentiful enough, but it’s the comedy that makes this movie fun. Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and Scotty exchange lots of amusing gags and anecdotes here. Most other complaints never really bothered me that much; I was just thrilled to watch the classic characters do their thing.
My score: 3.5/5
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93: X: The Movie
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| You know things get serious when your back is on fire... |
Guilty of: Not as good as the original manga (or the anime series that came later), not enough room for character or story development.
What I say: I totally agree that this anime film doesn’t do the whole story much justice. The original story calls for juggling fourteen different characters on opposite sides of an epic conflict, so cramming all that into a ninety minute feature is pretty skimpy and frustrating. It’s made even worse with shoddy English dubbing. Still, the action and animation quality is pretty darn cool, and the film does capture the barebones essence of the whole thing. Since the movie came out before the manga’s finale, it also has the benefit of a wicked, punctual, somewhat satisfying ending. I may continue to watch the full-length series for a complete story, but this film offers enough of everything for a quick and condensed experience.
My score: 3/5
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92: Barb Wire
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| Baywatch took a very interesting turn... |
Guilty of: Bad acting, dull and gaudy.
What I say: Pamela Anderson. Nuff said!
My score: 2.5/5
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91: Wing Commander
Guilty of: Clichéd, with bad dialogue and cheap production.
What I say: While the special effects haven’t aged that well, I always loved them for bringing these fleets of spaceships to life in front of a colorful deep-space backdrop. The action is often quite cool. I actually wish there were more movies like this that have such explosive and stylish space battles. Plot, characters, and overall production are weak indeed, but I’m willing to put up with it. At times, it comes off as a fun, lighthearted adventure.
My score: 3/5
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90: Skyline
Guilty of: Bad story, bad dialogue, stupid characters making dumb decisions.
What I say: Now here are some special effects that stand up really well. If nothing else, this flick does a great job of taking a standard story with standard shooting locations and filling it all up with a slick and explosive spectacle. In this day and age, alien invasion movies have become a dime-a-dozen, so this feels like more of the same, and all the stupid characters don’t help. I still had a blast watching it, even if for all the wrong reasons.
My score: 3/5
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89: Hulk
Guilty of: Boring, too much talking, fake-looking special effects, inconsistencies in the Hulk’s size, mutant poodles.
What I say: Yeah, it takes a while for this film to get going, but once it does, it’s like, holy crap! The Hulk picked up a freaking tank and hurled it miles away! He beat down helicopters and rode a plane to the edge of the atmosphere! When the action hits and the Hulk comes out, the filmmakers really tried their best to make the Hulk pull off some incredible stuff. Extensive exploration of the characters may drag down the experience quite a bit, and the use of transitions and split-screens are very trippy, but I’ve always felt it was worth sitting through for a fantastic final act.
My score: 3.5/5
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88: Star Trek: Insurrection
Guilty of: Odd-numbered Trek movie. Plays out too much like a 2-hour episode of the show. Thus, it’s more of the same, dull, contrived.
What I say: Granted that it does feel like a series episode rather than a feature film, I always did enjoy the space battles (especially the nebula battle, which is a thing of beauty), the shuttle pursuits, the humor, and the overall tone of the film. It’s just another fun adventure for the Next Generation crew, and that’s not a totally bad thing.
My score: 3.5/5
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87: Maximum Overdrive
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| This truck is so evil! |
Guilty of: Absurd plot, annoying characters, silliness.
What I say: I’ve always gotten a kick out of watching this film. What could be cooler than watching a bunch of machines (especially trucks, bulldozers, a hum-vee) rising up against humans? The only thing more cool and wicked than this are the Terminator or Matrix franchises. As it is, Stephen King plays this out with his usual campy B-movie charm (not just as writer, but also as director!), and I find it quite charming indeed.
My score: 4/5
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86: The Time Machine (2002)
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| The future may not be bright, but at least it's orange. |
Guilty of: Switches from compelling drama to action/adventure territory too fast, poor writing.
What I say: Yeah, the 1960 film remains the best possible film adaptation of HG Well’s classic story. It’s pretty odd that Simon Wells (the author’s great-grandson) changed things up with this newer adaptation, and he does to with mixed effect. The best that can be said is that the visuals are pretty cool, especially during the actual time-travelling. I think most audiences agree that the opening scenes, which underscore the reasons why the guy built the machine, are the most compelling. The rest is just a brainless actioner. Overall, it’s a pretty fun ride anyway.
My score: 3/5
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85: The Room
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| Oh hi guys! |
Guilty of: EVERYTHING!
What I say: No really, everything about this movie is terrible, make no mistake. The sets are as plain as can be, and the photograph and editing are equally stagnant. What really takes the cake here will be the acting and writing: it has to be seen to be believed. Nearly every line is so terrible, so forced, so illogical, it’s awesomely hilarious. The Room is stupid and cheap, but it stands as one of the best so-bad-it’s-good type of films of all time.
My score: 2.5/5
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84: The World Is Not Enough
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| Skiing is a dangerous sport. |
Guilty of: Standard plot, iffy writing, Denise Richards.
What I say: At one point (well, the time of its release), this was my favorite James Bond picture. I loved the action, and I was really taken by the story and its characters. These days, I got to admit that my enthusiasm has waned a lot, and the film does feel very plain and standard. I still give it credit for taking a few bold twists, for having a bad guy that implies something greater, for having an awesome femme fatale, and for its smashing boat chase scene.
My score: 4/5
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83: Heavy Metal 2000
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| Whoa. Nice...axe... |
Guilty of: Focuses on one story instead of having an anthology of stories. Bloated, dull, uninspired, cheap.
What I say: Sure, it’s only one story, but I had fun watching it. I loved the heroine and I enjoyed watching her kick everybody’s butt! The animation may not be the best, but it looks smooth, and is nowhere near as gaudy as the first film. Occasional bits of gratuitous sex and violence don’t hurt either. It’s a thrilling piece of pulp sci-fi, and I kinda wish there are more stories like this in the genre.
My score: 3/5
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82: The Darkest Hour
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| This is why it's dangerous to breakdance on the street. |
Guilty of: Mindless, with terrible characters and a weak plot.
What I say: You know, I didn’t think this was nearly as bad as I expected. Despite a few stupid parts, the film is successful at being fast-paced and entertaining. I liked the concept of invisible electric aliens. I enjoyed the special effects, regardless of how cheap they looked. Overall, the film never really bored me, and I appreciate it for that.
My score: 3.5/5
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81: The Man With the Screaming Brain
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| This is how you'll appear when you reach the end of this list. |
Guilty of: Considered weak, pointless, and unfunny.
What I say: Well, the film is pretty cheap and silly, but it did make me laugh. I give huge props to Bruce Campbell, who’s as macho and funny as ever, and flexes some decent acting muscle as a man who literally fights himself. It gets really crazy when the guy’s wife becomes a robot. It makes for a pretty fun tongue-in-cheek type of B-movie.
My score: 3.5/5
To be continued...
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