Writing Prompt: Arrested on Jeopardy

Decided to check in on WritersDigest.com, and I found this tasty writing prompt:

You are a contestant on Jeopardy and are in the lead. Final Jeopardy comes up and it’s a question you know. As you are on the verge of revealing your correct answer and claiming your winnings, FBI agents rush the stage and grab you and Alex Trebeck and march you both off into a back room and accuse you both of cheating. What happens next?

I decided to give it a shot, and I kinda whipped out this silly little scene. Maybe a little rough, but I wasn't taking this all that seriously. Hope it'll give you a good laugh or two.

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The black mask slides off my head. A blinding light floods my eyeballs, and I shut them. Somebody shoves the back of my head and shouts, “Eyes open, kid. Pay attention.” I never thought these FBI guys could be such d*cks.

I blink and slowly force myself to face the spotlight heating my face. I can’t make out anything past the light. But the more I look, the more I can see a shadow between the light and the darkness beyond it. It’s a human-shaped shadow. It must be another person—maybe another agent, or maybe the chief, however this sort of thing works. Whoever it is, the shape is still and quiet as a statue.

To my right, Alex Trebek is zip-tied to a metal folding chair. He stares ahead, breathing evenly. For an awkward moment, I can’t stop staring at him. Admiring him. Watching him on TV my whole life, I know he never freaks out the way the contestants and reality TV stars do. He never chews people up and spit them out the way Gordon Ramsey does. He’s not a blowhard like Donald Trump. No other TV star compares—Trebek is the symbol of civility and academia.

The d*ck slaps the back of my head again. “Pay attention. This is serious.”

“What is your problem?” I blurt aloud.

When I avert my gaze from Alex, I notice a woman in front of me. She’s short enough that her eyes line up with mine. And they’re sparkling emeralds that shine brighter than the spotlight behind her. I can’t stop staring at them. I barely even notice the FBI body armor encasing her wide body, or the assault rifle in her hands. The only thing that disrupts my attention is the pink bubble that suddenly expands from her thin pink lips.

When the bubble pops, she munches the gum all up and chews. The constant smacking should irritate me. Maybe it’s supposed to. But for some reason, I like listening to it.

She speaks with a Brooklyn accent. “So, you think you’re a smart one, don’t cha?”

I shrug, to the extent I can with my hands zip-tied behind my chair. “I made it to Final Jeopardy. That must count for something.”

“Yeah, right. A schmuck like you, just barely making it through night school, answering all those questions correctly for all this time. There’s something fishy about all this!”

“How do you know about my classes? You’ve been spying on me, haven’t you? For how long?”

“Don’t kid yourself, you had it plastered all over your Facebook wall.”

“This is ridiculous. You can’t arrest me for doing good on Jeopardy! I have rights…and this is an abuse of power…and…and…I demand a phone call! I demand a lawyer!”

Another slap on my scalp. “Calm down kid, you’re not being arrested.”

“What do you call this?” I shake in the chair.

The woman said, “It’s a test. Just relax, there’s no way you can fail it.”

From the corner of my eye, I watch the d*ck move away from me. He’s just as tall and scary-looking as Lurch, only he’s even scarier with the body armor on. Slinging his rifle around his shoulder, he reaches into a pocket and pulls out a shiny piece of fabric. He walks behind Trebek and holds the fabric thing over his head.

Alex finally speaks, “Gentlemen…ma’am…I hope you realize that if you go through with this, you will have to answer not only to my lawyers, but also to the studio.”

The dick hesitates, and glances at the woman. She blows another bubble, pops it, and resumes chewing. She gives a slight nod with her chin, and her partner covers Alex’s head with the mask. His entire head now looks like a silver bust, and tiny blue lights pulse from it.

The woman tells me, “Okay kid, you give us a few good questions, then we’re outta here.”

“What?” I ask.

“That doesn’t count. Here’s your first answer: this radioactive element has an atomic number of 94.”

“What?”

“Jesus, you are a moron after all. Come on, you had the right question to this thirty minutes ago. Did’ja forget already? Or maybe Alex gave you some help?”

Of course—the game. But this is ridiculous. Do they all think I cheated all this time? That Alex helped me? I know for a fact it’s not true. I simply knew the right questions, and I was quick enough to respond before anyone else. To prove my innocence, all I have to do is remember the same responses I had on the show!

Why then was my mind blank? Come on…atomic number 94…what’s an atomic number? Sh*t! I must have had the right answer during the show—why can’t I think of it now?

“EEEEE!” the woman shouts. “You lose! The correct question is, what is plutonium?”

“Oh come on, that’s one of the hard ones!”

The male agent says, “It was only worth $600.”

“Give me a $200 answer, and I will prove to you that I know what I know.”

“Kid, you don’t even know—“

The woman held up her hand, and the man fell silent. “Okay then, how’s about this? Jane Austen lived in this English city, best known for its Roman baths.”

Oh! I know this one. Literature is one of the things I was always good at. And everybody loves Jane Austen! Now…where did she live?

Sh*t! I can’t think of any English city. Can’t be London, can it? No, that’s Charles Dickens. Wait, who says both couldn’t have lived there? No, the answer specified Roman baths? What English city has baths?

“EEEEE!” the woman says. “The correct question is, what is Bath?”

“Seriously?”

The man says, “The correct response was actually in the answer, dummy.”

“I had a brain fart!” I cry.

“Yo,” the woman says. “Remove the thingy. We got to show the kid what a false positive looks like.”

The man removes the “thingy” from Trebek’s head. For a moment, his eyeballs flutter. Was he suffocating under the strange hood? Was it a mild stroke? When his eyes settle, he looks around, breathing normally, acting normally.

“Okay kid, riddle us this,” the woman says. “This hypothetical particle travels faster than the speed of light.”

Oh! I know this! The answer pops in my head right away and flies off my tongue. “What is a tachyon?”

“Congrats, kid. Now, how the hell is it you know what a hypothetical physics particle is? You never even had this come up on the show yet. You don’t look a nerd, either.”

I shrug. “I just popped in there.”

“Don’t cha think it’s funny that it popped in there so fast, right after we liberated Alex’s noggin for ya?”

“Wait, are you telling me—?”

The male agent says, “It’s a psychic transference, kid. Alex wanted you to win, so he’s been beaming the responses to your head directly.”

“That’s the stupidest thing I ever heard! I can’t believe my tax dollars pay your salaries!”

“Well, we appreciate the zero-year funding.”

“This makes no sense! Even if he could psychically beam me the answers, why would he do it now to prove your point?”

“Because he can’t help it,” the woman says. “I think it’s time to level with ya. Here’s the real Alex Trebek.”

In the space of one second, the woman swings her gun in Alex’s direction and squeezes the trigger. A hole pops in his head, and the back of his skull bursts open. The shot makes me jump. When I see the man I always knew and looked up to my whole life sitting limp, my stomach becomes an anvil. It’s so heavy, I can’t keep anything down—vomit spurts from my mouth. The woman jumps back from me.

Trembling, I shout, “I can’t believe it. You murderous bastards!”

Then, I see movement from the chair. Alex’s body convulses. My first thought: something in his brain is firing off the last synapses he’ll ever have, and his nerves are just twitching in response.

Then I notice the blood. The strange yellow ooze dripping out of the hole in his head.

A spark explodes in his eyeball, and blue liquid spits out of the eyehole. From the back of his head, something slides out and hits the floor with a loud bang. It’s a dark lump with spindly silver legs. It starts to scurry, but the man stomps on it hard. The thing cracks under his boot and oozes yellow fluid.

He says, “Didn’t take Alex to be one of the Bowvian models. Looks like I owe you a drink.”

The woman waves her hand dismissively. “He was a hard one to nail down, don’t worry ‘bout it.”

Shaking and stammering, I manage to release all my pent up confusion and shock in one barely-comprehensible phrase. It somehow comes out in a little girl’s voice. “WHATTHEF*CKWASTHAT?!!”

A voice answers me from behind that spotlight. “That was a robot, my friend. One of many that has infiltrated show business worldwide.”

I forgot about the shadow behind the spotlight, watching us the whole time. His voice is so familiar. It’s a voice I knew from TV, so friendly, but with a certain gravitas I always admired. Can it be?

The man steps into the light, and I behold the face of Tim White. The very same reporter who hosted my favorite show when I was a kid: Sightings. 

The woman blows another bubble, pops its, chews it. “Congrats, kid. You just won yourself the chance of a lifetime.”

The male agent cuts the zip ties, and I can stand up again. When I try, my legs shake, and I stumble back on the chair. Tim White simply smiles and says, “This is a shock, I know. But I’ve seen others who couldn’t handle the truth nearly as well as you.”

“What is all of this?” I ask.

Tim offers his hand. I take it, and he helps me to my feet. Patting me on the back, he says, “We’re building a team, and we need all the help we can get. Trebek was just a pawn—one of many. He wanted to recruit you for the Ultracomglomerate.”

“The what?”

The woman says, “It’s kinda complicated, kid. Let’s just say there’s some alien start-up trying to horn in on the human race, enslaving anybody who can be suckered on a game show and replacing them with clones.”

The man says, “And really, how can you not know Trebek is an alien robot? No human being is that civil or smart.”

Tim guides me out of the room. “Come. Everyone’s dying to meet you. We’ll have dinner in the mess hall—Sajak’s getting pizza and Bob Barker’s paying.”

Writing Prompt: Show Don't Tell Emotions 1

In an effort to try and get a better handle on the ol' "show don't tell" rule, I started googling some exercises to practice with. Here's the first thing I found, from thewritepractice.com:

Write about the way you or your character feels. Use only action, dialogue or sensory detail. Avoid using any feeling words, like happy, sad, tired.

For this, I took the climax from one of my novels that's still in a rough draft state--it's the story of a pop star in a futuristic city who was conditioned and brainwashed to become the Mayor's wife, but it didn't quite work out and she spearheaded a massive revolution.. 

I might actually use the below scene and try to incorporate it in somehow--compared to the original, I think I captured a better level of drama and intensity. However, I did have to sprinkle in some exposition to make this understandable on its own (thus, there's still a bit of "telling" in this that wouldn't necessarily be in the actual book). 

Like an idiot, I missed the part on the prompt's original webpage that says to avoid inner monologue, exposition, and narrative. All three are present below, so that's a fail on my part (although I'm still a little sketchy on the issue, I thought inner monologue was a form of showing for deeper POVs). The important thing in this exercise was showing the emotion (which, in this case it looks to be all about rage and revenge). Hopefully it's clear, but I may have to do this practice again on different scenes with different emotions to get a better handle on it.

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Across the office, Mayor Quentin Warhol stood erect as a statue and gazed out the window. He didn’t even turn around to face Mary when she kicked the doors open. She shouted, “Hey, a**hole! You miss me?”

He gave no response. Mary asked, “What's the matter, mister Mayor? Can't keep it up anymore?”

He finally turned to face her—his lips stretched wide into a trembling frown, and his eyes watered. Not that Mary cared. He shed no tears when his scientists strapped her to their machines, injected her with their mutagens, and changed her inside and out. And where were his tears when his security team beat and violated her into submission? He didn’t even deserve to cry.

Grasping the hilt of her katana, Mary gritted her teeth and seethed. She waited for this moment for so long.

Quentin shouted, “You b*tch! You took my city from me. Turned the people against me!”

“Oh yeah? Cry me a river.” Mary drew the sword out of its sheath, slowly enough to feel the blade sliding against the wood. It would be just as smooth cutting through flesh.

When she flashed the silver blade at him, Quentin’s face turned to stone. “Do you really think killing me will solve anything? You have no idea what your actions have started!”

Mary said nothing. Both her hands gripped the handle, and she brought one leg back, poised to spring her forward. She focused on Quentin’s big head—just one swipe across the neck, and it would all be over.

Quentin held his hands up and stammered, “Think about what you’re doing! If you kill me, Ananke will retaliate.”

The word Ananke evaporated in Mary’s ears. Maybe it was a warning she should have heeded. Or maybe it was a ruse to gain more time. It didn’t matter. Mary waited so long for this moment. Returning to the Mayor’s office was her killer encore, and she would bring down the house.

Pushing off her foot, Mary dashed towards the Mayor and swung her sword.

Al's Review of Video Games in 2016

Last updated January 8th 2016.

It's now been a couple of years since I first logged into my PS4 and began the next generation of console gaming. While the 4 lacks the versatility and features of the 3, it does produce a fine gaming experience with its sharp graphics, faster framerate, and refined layout. And I found myself playing more with screenshots, video playback, and social features. For gaming, it's become my go-to system, especially with all the new titles from favorite franchises.

I've played my fair share of quality PS4 games at this point to make the console worthwhile, but I always crave something new and exciting. With 2016, unfortunately, it seemed like there were very few new game titles that really enthralled me. Yes, there is new Call of Duty game (including a remastered Modern Warfare). I keep hearing that Infinite Warfare has a good campaign, but after forcing myself through two of the Modern Warfare and one of the Black Ops games, I decided I had enough of military shooters. They aggravate me. In fact, I think they aggravate everybody. Eventually, I realized there's just no fun in getting sniped in the head or pummeled by grenades every five minutes, either in campaigns or online--these games are grueling by design, and despite the allure of a sci-fi themed shooter, I passed on Infinite Warfare.

However, I did man up and trudge knee-deep in Hell playing the new Doom. Given my distaste for CoD, I was certain I'd find Doom too brutal, but I was proven wrong. It's a fast, smooth, empowering experience with phenomenal quality and gameplay. And the story wasn't too bad either. I never was a die-hard Doom fan, but this game is genuinely awesome.

I had to pick up X-Com 2--I loved the original 1993 game, I loved the 2012 remake, so this was a no-brainer. On the PS4, the loading screens are agonizing (some kind of savegame issue causes it to take longer and longer the more you play--could take as long as five, ten minutes). Despite that, I felt the game delivered: I dug the story, I enjoyed the gameplay (and I find it more laid-back since you don't have to worry about keeping the nations together), and for a good while I just couldn't tear myself away from this.

Some time after its release, I downloaded Deus Ex: Mankind Divided (I think it was marked down on the PSN at the time). As expected, it was like its predecessor, and I enjoyed it that way. I loved the settings, I found the story interesting, and the combination of stealth and combat was always satisfying to me.

Watch_Dogs 2 was properly addicting for me. The open-world activities were consistently fun and addicting. Online gameplay wasn't too taxing, and was actually enjoyable at times. I liked the story just fine, especially with its colorful batch of characters. Best of all, they took out the boring or tedious parts of the first game and made it a little more colorful--a worthy improvement.

One of the most interesting projects I tracked and got myself psyched for was No Man's Sky. All the news I saw for it indicated a boundless universe full of exploration, offering gamers the ability to explore millions of planets by traveling through land, sea, air, and space. A lot of folks were let down because of the lack of content--limited combat, limited story or direction, limited factions and politics involved, and PvP was not intuitive. I never expected this to be a MORPG though, I was in it for the exploration. Despite some bugs, I felt the game delivered--it definitely gives you more breathing room than you'll ever need, because the universe and its procedurally-generatorated worlds are so huge and would take eons to get lost in. I did find the game genuinely immersive (and relaxing) in spite of all this. But after a month or so, I moved on and haven't bothered revisiting--chances are I won't be compelled to explore much more, now that all the trophies are under my belt and I completed the path of Atlas. Lack of rewards may have hurt this game the most, unfortunately.

For a while, I was into an online game called Dead Star. I thought it was great, playing little ships and working with teammates to capture stations and defeat enemy teams. Whether collecting resources or blasting enemies, it always felt like I contributed something, and the game was rewarding and addicting that way. Unfortunately, I stopped playing, and I think many other gamers have too. Without the online activity, it's a dead game.

Took a chance of a game called Asemblance, and was pretty intrigued by it. So short, but very enigmatic and compelling, I felt it was definitely worth the time and the brain power needed to interpret the story.

Uncharted 4 came out. Unfortunately, I didn't buy it. I still haven't made it through the original three (shame on me, I know!). At this point, I'm eyeballing the remastered set.

Which brings up the real highlights of the year: remasters. On the PS4, we've had a remastered Skyrim (yes, my favorite game, now looking better with all the DLC and no crashing!). The Bioshock trilogy. Dead Island. And even Day of the Tentacle. Incredible--it's been over 20 years since I played DOTT on a CD-ROM. It took me hours to figure out the whole story on my own (yeah, no guides, just me and a friend trying to figure it out by clicking on all the things). Now, it only took a day. But the game is as funny and great as ever, and it looks good remastered. Then I discovered the anniversary edition of Duke Nukem 3D--another title that takes me back. So over-the-top and ridiculous, I can probably appreciate it now more than ever. And a couple of Atari collections came out, offering oodles of classic titles I remember from way way back, when my parents had the actual Atari 2600 console. Those collections were genuinely nostalgic, and seeing those simple, old-school games made me appreciate how far games have come. There are also remasters available for some of the old Resident Evil, Dead Rising, and Assassin's Creed games, but I didn't bother with them.

Some games I have but haven't played enough of to make good comments on: Rise of the Tomb Raider (hey, if it's more of the same, I'll be happy), Dishonored 2 (looks like more of the same so far, which is good), Republique (pretty tricky stealth game), and Song of the Deep (which is cute). I have no plans on investing in Final Fantasy XV (I never even finished XIII, and I totally lost track of everything since that game's release). There is another Mirror's Edge game out, but I never even played the first one (tried the demo back in the day and hated it).

At this point, virtual and augmented reality is becoming more and more of a thing. VR games and headsets are out now, and during the summer Pokemon Go was all the rage. The latter seems to have lost all its steam, amounting to nothing more than a passing fad. VR is here to stay though, and I'm still skeptical about it. I love games--they have offered phenomenal storytelling experiences my whole life--but I'm personally wary of bringing the virtual fantasy closer to the mind. It's bound to have an impact on one's psyche one way or another. I don't believe it'll turn people psychotic or anything, but it could amplify preexisting negative and positive emotions in ways we can't even predict yet. I personally don't think it's wise to jump into this--with current gaming, there's at least a filter between the gamer and the screen to keep it all from becoming too real. When the line between reality and virtual fantasy blurs, it's bound to cause problems for people.

So looking back on 2016, I enjoyed a few good new games, but indulged in more oldies. There was nothing nearly as prolific or good as 2015, when Fallout 4 and Mad Max really thrilled me and kept me hooked for months. I was probably also still enjoying Dragon Age: Inquisition yesteryear. This time around, nothing new really blew me away (yet).

AL'S TOP 2016 VIDEO GAMES

01: X-Com 2

Familiar gameplay in an exciting new direction. Just like with the 2012 game, you command an elite squad of soldiers against alien invaders--this time, the world is already theirs, and your goal is to liberate the planet. It's really refreshing to have the mechanics remixed--you no longer have to worry about maintaining the X-Com council (meaning member nations don't threaten to leave), instead you win over each country until you gain enough power and control to complete the story. Lots of challenging new enemies to fight, lots of cool new toys to research and use, and interesting new tactics involved. Loading screens are awful on the PS4, but otherwise it's a phenomenal sequel.

02: Doom

Going back to the basics, 2016's Doom is a rip-roaring arcade-like adventure that demands more luck and skill than cover mechanics or other modern conveniences. It's a fast, smooth, and highly-empowering experience that successfully plants the gamers in the shoes of a space marine plowing through hoards of demons.

03: Deus Ex: Mankind Divided

Same general thing as Deus Ex: Human Revolution. Following the events of that game, we're immersed in a stark and volatile future where relations between men and "augs" are fragile. The streets of Prague are painted in grungy detail, and it's a great setting for this new story. And it is an interesting and thrilling story worth playing through. No annoying boss fights to this, but the stealth and combat are often challenging enough. I really like this series and the vivid world it takes place in, and will welcome additional installments with open arms.

04: Watch_Dogs 2

It's always good when a follow-up game improves on the original. Watch_Dogs was a lot of fun, but had some tedious side activities and missions. The second one takes away some of the tedium, adds in funner side activities, and the main story is packed with color and zing. I liked the characters, they were a likable and colorful bunch. Lots of interesting stories and experiences in this game, and even the online stuff is fun.

05: Asemblance

The gaming equivalent of an arthouse film. No direct answers or explanations are given for everything you experience, you simply experience it and have to draw your own conclusions. It is quite enigmatic and demands a good amount of attention and critical thinking to understand. Shame it's so short, and I'm sure some gamers will find it too frustrating or elusive to enjoy. But I appreciated a game that showed more, told less, and let the experience speak for itself.

06: Dead Star

For a few good months, I was genuinely addicted to this online game. It's got spaceships and plenty of pew-pew-pew action. It's pretty rewarding to support a team, take over stations, and blast enemies. Good graphics, smooth gameplay, no complaints.

07: No Man's Sky

Yes, I named this planet myself...

Despite its obvious shortcomings, No Man's Sky deserves its mention from me because I enjoyed its concept and appreciated it as a space sim of sorts. It genuinely puts gamers in the shoes of a space explorer, having to manage resources, life support, and hazards more carefully than the average space adventure. What really drew me in was the immensity of the game--a whole galaxy open to exploration, with each world different, populated with different life forms, and it's all there for gamers to experience their way. You could just zoom down the paths and finish the story, or you can take your own path one planet at a time. It can be quite addicting to farm and explore, but it's also a long, dry game that doesn't deliver a whole lot of action the way other gamers expected. In the end, I stopped playing the game because I saw no more point to it, but if it was more rewarding in some way, it could have come out as an all-time favorite.

VIDEO GAMES AL IS LOOKING FORWARD TO IN 2017:

Chances are I'll be spending 2017 still playing old games I've had for the past ten years or so, on both the PS3 and PS4. I really ought to do more PC gaming with Steam, especially since I acquired a lot of big franchise collections like the classic Deus Ex games and Myst. But I am genuinely excited for these upcoming releases and will probably drop everything to shower them with love and attention.

Full Throttle Remastered: The next remaster project following DOTT and Grim Fandango, and Double Fine couldn't have picked a worthier title. I have fond memories of this game from the 90s, it's got great puzzles, a great story, and some really cool biker-gang action. And it's all done with taste and style. Remastered, it'll be interesting to see how this game fares, and I can't wait to play it through for the trillionth time.

Mass Effect: Andromeda: Assuming it doesn't get pushed back for any reason, Mass Effect anything is a must. I became smitten with the series after the first two games--their stories, characters, and worldbuilding were phenomenal space adventures on the same level and depth as any Star Trek show or film. To command a ship and crew again in this universe with new graphics and features will undoubtedly be the very experience my PS4 thirsted for from day one. I am more than ready to quench that thirst. It would also really make my day if the original three games get remastered for the PS4, but I see no sign of that happening.

Red Dead Redemption 2: Even though I haven't played the first game nearly enough, I saw enough of it to know it's pretty cool. This open world western game lends itself to lots of great adventures and encounters, and having the sequel on the new system should be as gorgeous as it should be immersive and addicting.

South Park: The Fractured But Whole: Because the other South Park game was hilarious. Look at this sequel's subtitle--even that's crudely hilarious. I value games that can make me laugh, so this ought to be an instant winner.