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| How it feels to watch nothing but Asylum and Troma films |
I've assembled a bottom 100 least eight years ago--I figure it's about time to reevaluate my choices and list new updates. The changes are substantial, largely because the 2010s have seen a pretty huge surge of horrible cinema thanks to companies like Asylum (and I've seen a bunch of them for some bloody reason). Many others, however, I've run across because my genre interests (horror, sci-fi, action) guided me towards them--surprise, these genres are loaded with a lot of cheap junk. Direct-to-video sequels and exploitation pictures have inevitably crossed my path too. Finding the bad films can be easy--ranking them turned out to be hard.
I have to admit that once I scoured the films and/or their trailers for screencaps, there's not a whole lot I outright hate. Many of these films are ones I love in their own way, usually under the "so bad it's good" excuse--some movies are just so incompetent, all the bad acting, cheap effects, and plot holes turn them into comedies. Films are often at their worst when they don't even do this much--the ones that play so straight on bland scripts wind up becoming boring. The absolute bottom of the barrel, I find, are the films that are simultaneously boring and tasteless (usually through excessive shock value and violence).
On a forum, somebody challenged me with the question of why I would waste my time and money to purposefully watch a bad film. I answer I gave was three-fold:
- Some are fun to laugh at, especially with other people present.
- They teach me how to NOT tell a story.
- It sets the bar to re-contextualize the other 4,900 films I've seen. It'd be disingenuous to call films like L'avventura, Boyhood, or Behind Enemy Lines bad when worst movies like Sharknado exist. Seeing bad movies helps define what a bad movie really is, and it helps me see the qualities (or lack thereof) in every other film.
So it's come to this--my 100 least-favorite films, updated April 2020 (ah, the things we do while staying indoors during a global pandemic...).
The List
Part 1 (100 - 81)
Part 2 (80 - 61)
Part 3 (60 - 41)
Part 4 (40 - 21)
Part 5 (20 - 1)
2020 Updates
In eight years, tastes change and I realize that some films I pegged as "bad" might not actually deserve to be listed here. These are the films I had previously listed, but were taken off the new list for one reason or another. Most were simply bumped off in favor of even worse films. Others, however, I probably shouldn't have posted in the first place.
- Behind Enemy Lines (2001) (was #97--it's an irritating film, but it's watchable)
- Blair Witch Project (1999) (was #2--I did rewatch this and I still dislike it, but it's edged out by some decidedly worse "found footage" films)
- Caligula (1979) (was #47--I somehow found the constitution to rewatch this, and found it okay actually. Yes, it's gaudy X-rated trash, but there is a fair character study buried in there and I'm slowly warming up to the film. It just barely misses my list)
- Carnival of Souls (1962) (was #31--did rewatch and found it more agreeable)
- Cloverfield (2008) (was #85--I have reasons to dislike the film, but it's still not the worst thing ever)
- Dementia 13 (1963) (was #33--this one seems to have a bit of a cult following, especially as an early Francis Ford Coppola picture, and I've been meaning to give it a rewatch/reevaluation)
- Domino (2005) (was #39--I finally rewatched this in full, and while I still find it a bit choppy and garish, it's not quite bad enough to make the list)
- Eat Pray Love (2010) (was #99--still not a fan, but it's a perfectly watchable film)
- Galaxy of Terror (1981) (was #45--it's on my agenda to rewatch and reevaluate pretty soon)
- Halloween: Resurrection (2002) (was #96)
- The Haunted World of El Superbeasto (2009) (was #77)
- I Could Read the Sky (1999) (was #4--I distinctly remember not liking the way this film was put together, but it's possible I'm being too harsh on it and I might have missed the point of it. I decided it probably doesn't deserve to be listed)
- Ice Pirates (1984) (was #74--I honestly was probably too harsh on this one)
- Inland Empire (2006) (was #100--been wanting to rewatch and reevaluate)
- Jade Warrior (2006) (was #89--been wanting to reevaluate)
- Kull: The Conqueror (1997) (was #82)
- L'avventura (1960) (was #49--I disliked this one quite a bit for the same reasons I dislike certain other arthouse films--lack of pace and narrative momentum in particular. The film is cited as one of the best ever made though. It's on my agenda to rewatch and reevaluate the film at some point, but regardless of how I feel about it, it genuinely doesn't deserve to be grouped together with the other garbage on the list)
- Lost in Translation (2003) (was #54--I did rewatch this recently after nearly fifteen years. I'm still not a fan. But I can't fault the film much--it is well-made, well-acted, and something worth seeing. It does not deserve to be on the list)
- The Manchurian Candidate (2004) (was #87)
- Miami Vice (2002) (was #58--the movie has a following and chances are I'm being too harsh on it. Been meaning to rewatch and reevaluate--it might be a good gem that I didn't quite appreciate when I saw it nearly two decades ago)
- Ocean's Eleven (1960) (was #88--still a bigger fan of the remakes, but this probably doesn't deserve to be put on the list)
- Open Water (2003) (was #34--been meaning to reevaluate)
- The People That Time Forgot (1977) (was #84)
- Prom Night (2008) (was #59)
- Rebirth of Mothra II (1997) (was #94--been wanting to reevaluate)
- S. Darko (2009) (was #75)
- Scary Movie 2 (2001) (was #91--been wanting to reevaluate)
- Scary Movie 4 (2006) (was #81--I mean, it's not good, but I remember laughing at one or two things)
- Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (2004) (was #78--did rewatch, still didn't care for it that much, but it deserves props for what it tries to do)
- The Specialist (1994) (was #40)
- Star Runners (2011) (was #51)
- Storm Warriors (2009) (was #73)
- Supernova (2000) (was #53--been wanting to rewatch and reevaluate. I do remember this was pretty slow and drab, but I've actually seen worse)
- Three Kingdoms: Resurrection of the Dragon (2008) (was #83)
- Twin Daggers (2008) (was #93)
These are the films I almost listed. Some of these were on the old list I made in 2012--there was simply no room for them all.
- Afghanistan: The Last Warbus (1989) (was #42)
- Atlantis: Milo's Return (2003)
- Bella Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla (1952)
- Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows (2000)
- Blubberella (2011)
- Brother's Justice (2010) (was #57)
- CHUD (1984)
- Conquest (1983) (was #20)
- Creature from the Haunted Sea (1961)
- Doom: Annihilation (2019)
- Dragonheart: A New Beginning (2000)
- Dumb and Dumberer: How Harry Met Lloyd (2003) (was #69)
- Epic Movie (2007) (was #17)
- The FP (2011)
- The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987)
- God's Not Dead (2014)
- Higher Power (2018)
- Hollow Man 2 (2006) (was #29)
- I, Frankenstein (2014)
- In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007) (was #70)
- Jaws: The Revenge (1987) (was #98)
- The Last Airbender (2011)
- The Last Sharknado: It's About Time (2018)
- The Legend of Hercules (2014)
- Leprechaun in the Hood (2000)
- Leprechaun: Back 2 Tha Hood (2003)
- Meet the Spartans (2008) (was #16)
- Ninja Apocalypse (2014)
- Officer Downe (2016)
- The Omega Code (1999)
- The Omen IV: The Awakening (1991) (was #41)
- Quantum Apocalypse (2010)
- Rabid Grannies (1988)
- Scooby Doo (2002) (was #76)
- Second in Command (2006) (was #50)
- Seeing Double (2003) (was #24)
- Shrooms (2007) (was #61)
- Species III (2004)
- Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997)
- Stranded (2013)
- Street Fighter (1994) (was #56)
- Super Mario Brothers (1993) (was #72)
- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Turtles in Time (1993)
- The Toolbox Murders (1978) (was #37)
- The Toolbox Murders (2005) (was #79)
- War, Inc. (2008) (was #62)
- White Wall (2010)
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