Books Al Read In 2024

I wish I could say that I've read a ton of books last year. While I made an effort at certain points, I only finished reading nine titles. There were huge gaps in the year where I simply didn't make time for any reading. I could blame it on other priorities in life—work, college, travel. But the truth is that I haven't been good at making time for books, even though I know there are small spaces everywhere that can be easily filled with reading. It might behoove me to carry a paperback around more often, so I can squeeze in more reading when I'm waiting in a line, waiting for mail, waiting on a train, or idle in other places.

For what it's worth, I finished some meaty works, and I am knee-deep in other big books like Gone Girl and Stuart Gordon's autobiography. For 2025, I will make time to finish these books and get some more under my belt. For last year's handful of reads, here are my quick impressions about each one.

Fiction

Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra. This is it: the granddaddy of all novels, which I always saw boasted as one of the all-time best classics. I figured that it'll be one of those books that everybody should be obliged to read just by nature of its classic status. But it is a few hundred years old, and for a guy like me who's more enamored by pulpy, snappy fiction, the old-fashioned grandstanding dialogue gets old pretty fast. For a satire, I can appreciate the story's point to tear down and roast the romanticization of chivalric fantasy, but it rarely made me laugh out loud. Characters are certainly memorable and the episodes they go through are interesting in theory, but I was not really captivated that deeply by Cervantes' plotting or style. I'm happy to have finished this monster of a book and reach an understanding of its content, but it's something I only appreciate in a broad sense, and I'm decidedly not a fan of its particularities.

Dune by Frank Herbert. A long-overdue re-read--my first experience with this work was well over ten or fifteen years ago, when I was less mindful of certain writing nuances. On the first glance, I wrote this off as a droll read. In retrospect, I believe I was put off by Herbert's writing style, which is a grade less personal. The way he jumps around all different character thoughts in the same scene certainly takes some getting used to—I always heard that headhopping was bad and writers who use it should feel bad. But, it ocurred to me that Dune leverages the headhopping in a smart way, since many scenes use the different thoughts to underscore the underlying conflicts between different characters and factions. It all works because of the focus on Dune's legendary world-building, and it still staggers the imagination. I have always admired the story's characters and ideas though its other media, but everything owes their existence to the original book. I have a newfound appreciation for it, even if the writing style seems old-fashioned or unconventional.

The Godfather by Mario Puzo. Seemed necessary given the reputation of the film adaptation (and I have to admit that my appreciation for the film goes up the more I see it—it is an interesting case where a sordid, pulpy story is elevated by an artistic presentation). Puzo's original novel is surprisingly sordid as it spares little detail in all the violence and sex the character engage in. While the mafia lifestyle seems to be glorified in some media (maybe even the Godfather films), it feels like there's an effort in the novel to tear down the romanticism, focusing on ugly details to underscore the dangerous and harmful aspects of this lifestyle. It is still something of an epic power struggle at its core, although the bigger focus is on family dynamics—parts of it naturally feel like they're indulging in many slices of life, especially as it branches off on many tangents with multiple characters. I'm not sure if it's sloppy or well-constructed, it feels like both somehow. All the same, I was entertained and intrigued more than I expected to be.

The Kaiju Preservation Society by John Scalzi. Oh, this was funny. The premise alone is a hoot, and is loaded with promise. The story is ultimately a breezy read thanks to its low-key prose and personable narrative voice. The story is light and fun, with enough room for plenty of imagination and a few interesting ideas. Nothing terribly deep, but highly enjoyable. As an audiobook narrated by Will Wheaton, it was exceptionally funny to listen to.

A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman. I was enamored by the film adaptations of this story, so I made it a priority to read this book pronto. There is a blunt, workman quality to the book, which perfectly befits the character. However, this can also made the reading experience dry, especially from the middle onwards—it felt like it was getting long in the tooth, and the charm of the dry comedy wore off after a while. It's still one of the most worthwhile novels I've read in a while, and an easy recommendation to any book lover. Themes of tolerance, and a focus on humanitarianism, will surely warm your heart.

Mistborn: The Final Empire by Brandon Sanderson. I had heard about Sanderson's work for years, as he is often praised for his works, with special focus on the way he handles fantasy. It seems that he is often championed for the way he creates magic systems with clear-cut rules and limitations. This is easily Mistborn's best quality, as the book spends a lot of focus on detailing how a mistborn's power works and how it impacts the world. This remains the book's most memorable feature, but the core story is not too shabby either, with its focus on a sympathetic character seeking justice (or revenge perhaps) in the midst of an oppressive state. The epic struggle that follows kept my interest, even if it feels pretty similar to other works I've seen or read. There is a chance I'll follow up with the sequels, but as it is, I enjoyed this book for the setting and worldbuilding more than the actual prose or story.

Manga

Under the Air by Osamu Tezuka. I had heard of Tezuka before, given the notoriety of such classics as Astro Boy. I was surprised to find that the stories in Under the Air were mostly crime stories, often with a large amount of violence, sex, and nudity. The twists in many stories were pretty good doozies, but some were weak, some seemed contrived, and some just came across as unhinged. It was an entertaining anthology all the same.

Venus In the Blind Spot by Junji Ito. I previously ventured through Uzumaki with equal parts morbid fascination and admiration for the artwork and tight focus on horror storytelling. Naturally, that admiration extends to this collection of short stories too, and I believe there's not a bad one in this bunch. They're all memorable, even when if they're overly fantastic and don't make a lot of sense—the images alone are haunting, and I enjoyed the gradual reveal of each story's grotesque twists.

Non Fiction

Astrophysics for People in a Hurry by Neil deGrasse Tyson. Sure, the guy might be a bit of a loud-mouth and a blow-hard, but I had enjoyed listening to some of his discussions before, and reading his book seemed like a no-brainer. It is certainly insightful on many topics concerning the cosmos and our place in it. It's written in a plain, laid-back language that makes the content easily-accessible to everyone. It's a good read, plain and simple. Much of its content covers knowledge I had learned from other sources before, but it's still insightful and would be an easy recommendation to anybody with a casual interest in space.

Happy New Year 2025

It's funny how a day can seem slow when you're experiencing it in the moment, but a year can feel short in retrospect. Although it felt like my last few years whizzed by rapidly, 2024 seemed to crawl through a thick fog of unexpected changes. With those changes, there were challenges. Most of them are work-related.

One of our colleagues departed from our site permanently, leaving me to pick up the slack and perform all the functions of our motorpool. It's do-able, sure, but now there have been a myriad of issues I've had to handle, often on my own. The biggest paradigm shift occurred when my new boss flew into town to take over for my existing boss. It was all business as usual, until the day when my old boss and one of our employees stopped coming to work unexpectedly. Though our workplace confirmed nothing (and likely never will), we found out that both were fired. There were no plans to replace our other employee, leaving me to take over their duties. It is work I have experience in from before, although I had often doubted my competency in it. Over the past few months, I will need to step up, be proactive, and stay on top of the workload. The work tempo and climate has changed drastically over the past few months, swinging from a softer laid-back atmosphere to a more stringent regimen. Several years ago, the shift would have likely induced great stress in me. I might feel some axiety about our work challenges right now, but I find it's not upsetting. These are simply interesting times—and that's not even taking into consideration the grander considerations behind the ongoing wars, the 2024 election, and the emergence of AI technology. 

Personally, I might always remember '24 as the year I visited Venice for Carnivale in February. This would have been my third time visiting Italy, and I am always amazed and enamored by the intricately-carved statues and buildings in their cities. The Piazza San Marco alone is a wonderful place to visit, where the Doge's Palace and Saint Mark's Basilica stand in clear view with their gorgeous marble and stone facades. After viewing the Bridge of Sighs, I visited the Veccia Murano glassworks to see a demonstration on how their colored glass is made, and I had the chance to shop among their delightful and regal selection of glasswares. The biggest attraction, however, was the amazing crowd of people in Carnivale masks and costumes, and I collected my fair share of fantastic photographs all around the Piazza. In between the pictures and wandering, I did find time to shop for journals, grab a cannoli, and take a gondola ride. There wasn't time to go into many of the famous buildings (the lines were way too long this day), and I somehow missed out on finding the Rialto Bridge, but all things considering, I saw many impressive sights that could be considered magical.

The bus ride from Venice to Germany took us through Switzerland, which included an hour's stop in the city of Lucerne. In just one hour, I managed to collect a respectable number of photos and video clips to capture this rich city's ambience. The ride also presented ample opportunity to see the mountains.

In the spring time, I flew back to the States to visit my parents for a good chunk of time. We took a trip to the coast, seeing the characteristic city of Beaufort again. There is a laid-back quality to the town, and it boasts a number of interesting shops that we like to revisit (including the Nevermore book store and Tom Hanks' favorite chocolate shop). We visited a bird sanctuary in Port Royal, and Hunting Island. 

When I returned to Germany, I made the impromptu decision to visit Clay Kaserne to see the 75th Anniversary of the Berlin Airlift. The airlift was a major operation during the Cold War to deliver supplies to West Berlin in the midst of Soviet occupation. For the celebration, a number of aircraft were displayed on the airfield. There were displays that showcased the site's history with a number of historic documents, and there was even food and entertainment. I had lingered there for a long time expecting to see airplanes in flight, but I only saw them flying overhead when I started to leave. It was still an event worth seeing once.

In the summer, I visited Garmisch and stayed at the Edelweiss Lodge. I had stayed there thirteen years ago and it was such a memorable trip that I wanted to revisit the area again. On this occasion, I took the chance to see the Partnach Gorge, Neuschwanstrein Castle (again), Linderhof Palace, and the Ettal Monastery. All of these places have their fair share of wonderful sights, from the waters rushing through the narrow gorge to the distinctive fairy-tale spires of the castle. I had also paused at certain spots to admire the majestic peaks of the Bavarian alps (such as the Zugspitze or Waxenstein) and to see what small towns like Füssen had to offer. From the hotel window, I could film the mountains for countless minutes, capturing a small wealth of nice-looking time-lapse scenes where the mist rolls off the mountains and trees endlessly. Since it was the 4th of July, I even had a chance to witness the fireworks show at the resort.

For the rest of my time, I focused largely on the daily grind at work, and I enrolled in college again. This time, I strived for a Master's in Business Administration. I was fortunate to sign up when the curriculum was updated, so it took five classes to complete the program (each worth six credits). There were challenges, but I worked through each assignment as they came, and I reached the end by December. I'll have my degree in hand within a couple of weeks, representing the best achievement I've had all year.

Since most of my classroom interaction was done online, I had to make one last trip at the end of the year to see my cohort in-person before we all parted ways. So I made the drive to Vogelweh and I got to see the Christmas Market in Kaiserlautern with my classmates. It was a lively market (likely made extra-lively since a football match happened that same day and made the Germans exceptionally psyched) with good gluhwein. However, the best market I saw this year was in Strasbourg, France. I followed my work colleagues there and was quite enamored by the city's architecture and elaborate Christmas decor. I had gathered up my fair share of sweets and gluhwein mugs, but above all, I took a ton of pictures as well. This was my second time visiting this city, and it was far bigger and more characteristic than I remembered.

This was definitely one of the busiest years I've experienced. I wouldn't say that I've travelled extensively, considering that many folks stationed here take trips much more often with lofty goals to visit every European country while they can. While I will attempt to have a major trip or two every year, I still prefer to find beauty in the spaces around me, wherever I live. I am reminded often of how lucky I am to be in this position, near the Reingau area. But even if I wasn't stationed there, I would consider myself lucky to have remained in the Deep South, which has its own unique spots of beauty. I believe that there were great picture-worthy sights in any spot in the world—it may show that any place has the potential to be a great place to live. Much of it depends on your mindset—it's easy to become blind to the world's wonders if you see only the ugliness. Ultimately, I am grateful to be alive and part of this world.

In the coming year, there may be more amazing sights I'll endeavor to see. But with other matters, I have fallen quite short. I certainly haven't exercised or dieted as faithfully as I should, so this warrants a fresh round of New Year's resolutions in the coming month. I always tell myself that I want to read more books, but I only completed nine of them this year. I haven't even binged on as many films as I usually do.

Above all though, my progress with actual writing has come up woefully short. I started some projects this year, but completed only one. I made big plans for a few fresh ideas, but I could never muster the time, energy, or focus to realize them into written words. Heck, I haven't even blogged nearly as much as I used to. It's possible that my experiences with critiques made me doubt my own abilities and second-guess my story directions. But in the end, as it is with diet, exercise, reading, and other activities, writing requires discipline. I used to have more discipline, likely because I felt more rewarded when completing even a crummy first draft. If I have any big goal for 2025, it would be to write (or at least do some kind of writing-related activity) every day. Even a few written words a day will lead up to a full story in time. This same time next year, I hope to have more finished drafts that I can brag about. Maybe I'll even blog more.

Books Al Read In 2023

In 2023, I made a sporadic attempt to maintain a reading habit. It petered out towards the end, and sadly I only finished 23 titles (some of which were short). Some of them were reads I had started in '22 but had dragged my feet finishing.

It's not an impressive number, but I'd still like to jot down my thoughts and impressions on the reads I managed to get under my belt. There were some profound insights I've had on the craft of writing thanks to these reads. I've had big and small milestones this year, and they all have some insight worth uncovering.

Fiction

Dead Astronauts by Jeff Vandermeer. I was not a fan of this, but I also jumped into this without realizing it's a sequel, and having never read the first book of course I'm totally lost. This book dives headlong into a bizarre world with little explanation and a lot of head-scratching creative decisions. I can appreciate some of the artistic flexes the book demonstrates, but it ultimately lost me in translation. Can't say I followed Annihilation that well either though, and honestly, no matter the story I find Vandermeer's style a little unpalatable for me personally. Smarter readers might glean more from this than me, but it'd be best to read Borne first. 

I Have No Mouth & I Must Scream by Harlan Ellison. Heard of this over the past several years, and I even found out that there's a video game based on this. The high premise and disturbing implications catch my interest. The story itself is surprisingly not as engaging as I hoped it'd be. On top of that though, there is also a misogynist streak to this story that's rather unbecoming. There are other stories grouped with this one as a collection--I made it through a few before losing interest. I might pick the anthology up again to finish it off, but what I've experienced so far has fallen rather flat.

The Invention of Sound by Chuck Palahniuk. This was a weird one and I'm not sure I liked it as much as I wanted to. Granted, I should have expected something edgy and weird out of this author, the story itself struck me as oddly-constructed and I'm not sure I jived with the outcome and final product of it all. Few bursts of interesting style and characterization, but it ain't no Fight Club.

IT by Stephen King, via audiobook. Yes, the audiobook might not capture the nuances of seeing the book's formatting as text (and plenty of listeners complain about how chapters cut off because King purposefully ends some dialogue and picks it back up in the next chapter--an effect best seen rather than heard). But I understood what I was hearing, and despite being familiar with the film adaptations, I was floored by the sheer effort King put into this beast of a book. Beyond the juggling of all these characters across two different timelines, I was impressed by how well he layered the story with multiple mediums of text, with multiple layers of narratives, with multiple arcs that seemed to touch many controversial issues. There are creative decisions that have always drawn criticism--I find that the text makes the intentions clear, but they are still hard to swallow. I am largely blown away and enamored by how ambitious the book is and how well it expresses the human conditions in King's unique approach, with one eye focused on fear and another on nostalgia. There are a lot of ingenious qualities to this book and it has opened my eyes to how the craft of writing can be further flexed to tell a bigger story with countless small details. Of all the books I experienced this year, this is easily the biggest one with the most substance, and I will likely look up to this as a grand influence.

The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury, via audiobook. This is my second time experiencing this book (therefore a "re-read" despite this being audio). I gotta say, some stories don't interest me that much, but there are some real whoppers in this chronicle. "Ylla" always captured my imagination with the way it brings life to literal space aliens and their culture. "The Earth Men" is a fantastic story with a gut-wrenching twist that is nothing short of ingenious. The events of the Fourth Expedition always struck me as a sobering view of humanity's disrespect to their surroundings. "The Off Season" was always a bizarre standout to me, and I love "There Will Come Soft Rains." Other stories are a hit-and-a-miss. I had forgotten about the bigotry addressed in "Way in the Middle of the Air," which came off as rather unbecoming. Still though, the entirety of the book is a fascinating collection of imaginative stories that's absolutely worth reading for sci-fi fans.

Murder on the Orient Express by Agatha Christie, via audiobook. This is the first book I've experienced from this writer (but of course I've seen the movie). It is a neat mystery story, but I am rather surprised by how much this book hinges on pure dialogue. Very little really happens in the story, but Poirot is a standout character and it's easy to see how this book lays out all the puzzle pieces for him (and the reader) to try and solve. Wouldn't call it the best writing, but I see why it works.

Uncommon Type by Tom Hanks. There is a chance this might have been ghost-written, but it's also easy to see some of the famous actor's charm behind the prose and characters. These short stories show personality in bursts and it's a harmless batch of stories in the end. Personally, I found them to be a little mundane. The prose is well-done, but the stories themselves often failed to captivate me and I got rather bored with them halfway through. I felt they could have used a little more oomph in some way--edge, conflict, voice...something!

Who Goes There? by John W. Campbell Jr. Obviously, I had to read this due to my love of John Carpenter's film adaptation. Was intrigued to find that the film was close to the spirit and concept of the original story. That being said, the novella is surprisingly procedural, as it spends several chapters explaining the Thing and its implications to mankind. It's a lot of exposition scattered between major action scenes, with very little characterization. The prose didn't really thrill me or convey the feelings the film version stirs in me. It's ultimately old-fashioned writing that exhibits a neat, freaky idea, but it's a rather stiff read.

Non-Fiction

Masters of Doom by David Kushner. Was interested in reading this based on one Youtuber's commentary for certain video games, and I was interested in the success story behind id software's low-key origins. I might have also been intrigued by the bad-boy personalities behind John Romero and John Carmack. There are bursts of fascinating anecdotes throughout the densely-printed book. There are some dry spots throughout the book, but I did maintain an interest until the end, and it is fair insight on how these radical game developers got started and achieved wild success.

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. A literal Roman emperor wrote this book, so of course it's worth reading. Aurelius in particular jotted down a treasure trove of insightful wisdom and thoughts pertaining to Stoicism. Can't say I'll ever embrace the philosophy as deeply as the discipline demands, but I am increasingly seeing the value in the Stoic perspective. This book has introduced plenty of ideas that will help me navigate my day-to-day struggles with greater nuance and strength, and it has the potential to benefit anybody. Of all the books I read this year, this is easily the most valuable--a book that can teach you how to live well.

Graphic Novels

Assassination Classroom Volumes 1 and 2 by Yūsei Matsui. I have not seen the anime, but now I want to. The first volume of this bizarre story is an absolute banger. It hooked me with its weird premise and humor. I found that the novelty started to wear thin in the next volume, as it seemed like focus was taken away from the core premise to stretch things out a bit. Still though, it is a fun concept that genuinely interested me, and the narrative potential does entice me to keep the next volumes on my radar.

Batman: The Killing Joke by Alan Moore. Had heard that this was one of the best Batman graphic novels for years. Now that I've finally read it, I thought it was...okay. The story's intent seems poignant on the surface, especially with the shocking events that happen, and I was pleased by the art style and how the frames frequently mirrored each other scene-to-scene. However, something about the story didn't leave as big of an impact as I expected. I think a big part of it is simply in how neatly-wrapped this is by the ending. The Joker's point (that we are all just one bad day away from turning to evil) is not really validated, so the story feels rather irrelevant.

Cowboys and Aliens by Scott Mitchell Rosenberg. Of course I've seen the film adaptation many years ago. The original graphic novel isn't much more than cowboys shooting up aliens, with a threadbare story. I appreciate the pulpy nature of the comic and the art style. It is a quick and breezy read. There just isn't any real substance to it whatsoever. Less than the movie, even. Forgettable at best, bland and soulless at its worst.

Creepshow by Stephen King. Yep, it's a comic that correlates to the 1982 film. As such, it is nothing more than the stories from the film translated into a comic book format. Given the movie's comic-inspired format and style, the comic reads perfectly fine this way, showcasing the same scenes from the movie with just a few small tweaks. I can't really fault this for much, other than it doesn't bring anything new to the table other than rock-solid artwork by Bernie and Michele Wrightson. A fun read for fans all the same.

My Favorite Character (That I Created)

I originally started this post as part of the previous one, listing off many of my character descriptions from past drafts and matching them with AI images. I realized that this character and story is too special. It's had a long history. I've had many drafts done and the project has evolved so much that it warrants its own post.

There is one project I keep coming back to now and then over the past 20 years. It bubbles to mind often because of the merits (or lack thereof) of the main character. She is a pop star in a dystopian city, in an age where most of the world has flooded from climate change and society has become oppressed by sinister corporate and government powers. The story goes that this character--Mary--will discover that she is genetically engineered and is not a real person. When the city's mayor tries to forcibly marry her, she resists and finds a way to fight back--going so far as rallying a major rebellion against the city and fighting for the poor and downtrodden. It's intended to be a pulpy, action-packed biopunk experience. At the center of it all, Mary is built up to be sexy, sassy, and tough. She has a lot of attitude that often lands her in trouble, leading to unpredictable events (and plenty of funny banter). As I contemplate rewriting the old draft, however, I also plan to put more effort into building an arc: as a pop star, she would start off as conceited, hedonistic, and materialist--the story will naturally humble her, bringing out the stronger qualities of resilience, gratitude, and maybe even some wisdom. On even further reflection, I also realize her arc should incorporate an artistic struggle--she is a musician who becomes a freedom fighter, which is a little ridiculous. It'd be much more creditable to put the focus on music--her commercial music as bland, mass-produced noise, but when she becomes an outsider, she learns the artistic value of music and starts to find her own unique voice.

Originally inspired by Ripley from the Alien movies (especially the fourth movie, where she was a literal clone), this was originally just going to be a weird thriller of some kind, but it evolved into something more involving. At this point, the story falls in line with dystopian sci-fi franchises I love, such as Alita: Battle Angel, the Dark Angel TV series, maybe a hint of Bubblegum Crisis. I often look up to Mary as a composite of Ripley, Sarah Connor from the Terminator movies, Aeon Flux, and the Bride from Kill Bill--all hardened survivors who endure much trauma and loss before finding a fighting spirit. Heck, there might even be a hint of Barb Wire in there. However, recent drafts may also factor in the characteristics of real-life divas like Madonna, Britney Spears, or Lady Gaga.

Going back to the oldest draft I have, I started to find some kind of stride by incorporating a city setting. The first attempt at a draft (dated 2004) looked like this:

Mary took a shower and had a light breakfast. She took some hormonal medicine, prescribed to her ever since she was a teenager. Without it, she would be bombarded with uncontrollable impulses of lust and desire.

She groomed herself in front of the mirror meticulously, and regarded herself. She was twenty-seven years old, but still looked to be twenty-four. She had long black hair that came down to the small of her back. Her eyes were bright blue, and she had long thin eyebrows arched over them. She was slim, but strong. Above all, she was highly attractive.

The problematic patterns of my older writing stand out poorly here: very simple descriptions that tell more and show less. Explicitly describing her age is goofy here, especially since she's described as looking three years younger than she is, but a three-year difference is not really that noticeable on anybody. This description stems from her looking into a mirror--this is a trope that's overused and I'm a bit ashamed to have used it here. Worst of all though is the last line--she was highly attractive. The adjective is useless, but the sentence overall is pure telling--the description itself should have done all the work to show us how she's "beautiful." It also doesn't help that this opening is as boring as they come--the story begins with Mary literally waking up and going through her whole "slice of life." She's not a pop diva in this draft either--she's a dockworker.

One attempted draft (dated 2005) started the story off in a totally different place--it appeared to start at the end, with Mary captured and brought before her creator, with the intention to jump back to the beginning in the next chapter and tell everything up to that point. This is a technique I like and it can work in some stories--it could even work with this one. Over time though, I felt that a better hook can be found by simply starting from the beginning.

In this draft, Mary is introduced this way:

The guards forced the prisoner to sit down in front of a black desk; she glowered at David with wicked blue eyes.  At the age of twenty seven, she was remarkably gorgeous; her black hair was soft and shiny, her figure was slim but extraordinarily curvy, and her face was long but supple.  Even with the bruises and cuts she had on her face and arms, she was still beautiful.

It's maybe a little exploitative to start off with Mary in this powerless and injured state. Sadly though, my writing style was still at its weakest, still hinging on too many weak descriptors, weak adjectives, and vague terms. Neither of these drafts went far because I didn't know where I was going with them.

I had another draft around the same timeframe that started this story off in yet another direction--with Mary being experimented on in a genetics lab. However, the description I used for Mary is the same text as the above--I merely recycled it from the older draft.

Finally, in 2012 I had a complete draft finished, and this is where I made the defining choices to start Mary off as a pop star. Her initial appearance in the first chapter has no description to start with--it kicks off with her singing in a concert, with just a couple of scattered details (with a passing line like "she pranced giddily around the stage, whipping her golden hair and spraying her sweat into the audience"). Only after the concert did I jot down the following description:

Without answering, Mary slammed the door in Lester’s face, before sitting down in front of the mirror and undressing. The water she poured on herself during the show made her blonde hair uneven, but it maintained its most basic shape and sheen. The makeup on her face had worn off, revealing the pores of her face. Otherwise, she was every bit as desirable and exotic of a woman as ever existed. Draped down her shoulder blades, her hair was long and soft. Her face was narrow, with soft cheeks and a moderate-sized nose. Her eyes were dark, with a seductive gleam, and were further accentuated by her moderate-sized eye-brows. Her lips were luscious and full. Her body was slim, curvy, and her breasts were well-endowed. She had always known that she was perfectly beautiful; the crowd’s obsession affirmed her conceit, for she knew that they agreed and desired her.

Despite everything, this writing leaves much to be desired. It is still very on-the-nose, tells more and shows less. It still uses the mirror cliche--sorta. 

Obviously, I made the choice to turn this character into a blonde. However, when she endures a procedure that changes her DNA, her hair will turn to black, like in these previous images. The changes in appearance is meant to reflect her change from a naive pop star to a jaded freedom fighter. I find that changes like this can add a certain dynamic to the story that I don't often see--characters don't have to remain the same throughout the whole story, they can grow old and change their appearances on purpose. This can be a natural consequence of time, or caused by the story's events. In my rewriting plans, I intend to also have this character go through breast reduction surgery--it would be her way of combatting the objectivation she otherwise faces throughout the story (and, in itself this would be a theme worth exploring in context of mass media).

In this day and age, a character changing gender or body type would also not be unheard of. There is dramatic potential in these kinds of developments. The film Predestination, and the original Heinlein story its based on, is one example of a story that hinges on these types of changes. As I contemplate potential sequels for this story, the possibility exists that clones of Mary could have different genders.

Same character, different looks.

Later drafts I've attempted had the opening scene changed a bit, and Mary's initial description appears like this (coinciding with her manager's description too).

It wouldn’t have been the first or last time Mary would have to deal with overzealous fans, but if anything happened now it wouldn’t all be her fault. Crossing her arms, she glared at her manager. Sweat glistened off his round forehead, while his bulbous body hustled from the control booth towards her. He flapped his meaty hand, gesturing for her to follow him. “Mary, we got to go now!”

She flicked her head towards the stage, and thick strands of wet golden hair bounced off her shoulders. Her eyes—the shape and color of almonds—remained locked on the fat idiot before her. “Don’t you hear all that, Lester? The show’s got to go on.”

It's a greater attempt to sprinkle the details around instead of dumping them all in one place. Also a bigger emphasis on the verbs and showing details in action. I think the dialogue and subtle gestures go a longer way in describing Mary than most of the previous paragraphs I've penned over the years. There's even a little bit of Mary's signature sass leaking into the narrative prose, which is ideal.

In the redraft, after Mary endures genetic conditioning and brainwashing (which is every bit as creepy and unnerving as it sounds), her altered appearance is described in these paragraphs:

A pair of guards presented Mary with a green spidersilk dress and matching shoes—they glimmered under the fluorescent lights like liquid jade. They opened a door for her, and she changed into it in private. The uniform she was in was so plain—why was she wearing it in the first place? It wasn’t like she was a prisoner, was she?

When she was ready, she exited the office and was escorted to an elevator. It sped upwards, and she was taken to a make-up room where some ladies applied make-up, blush, eyeliner, eyeshadow, and lipstick to her. They applied gel to her hair and combed it until it became a glistening, straight black curtain down her back. With a spray of perfume, she smelled of jasmine.

Seeing herself in a mirror, she beheld someone that couldn’t possibly be her. Voluptuous, beautiful, and clean. A body fitting for a superstar. Somehow, the perfect body didn’t look right to her. It looked like a doll, and she wished it was different. The body, too thin. The breasts, too big. Her lips, too puffy.

The make-up people told her it was time to meet her future husband. Something about the words made her nauseous. Angry, even. She hadn’t even met him, but she already knew something about him was sleazy, and this arrangement was a fraud.

If this comes across as unsettling and creepy...it's supposed to be. This is a messed-up situation where Mary is transformed into an artificial, unnatural caricature for somebody else's pleasure. This is the crux of the conflict in the end--Mary will reject her place as an artificial idol and strive to become a real human being. 

Some of these descriptors I'm actually more proud of. It helps that it's filtered more thoroughly through Mary's own POV, so we have greater insight on her introspection and attitudes, which does change the way she describes herself. To have her observe--and even dislike--her image is one of the big building blocks to this part of the story.

I attempted a rewrite around 2021, starting the story off in yet another point in the timeline, but I didn't really bother to provide a description of Mary at all. Aside from the fact that she was blonde and quite irate to have been kidnapped by Orcco's freedom fighters.

On my latest rewrite, dated 2022, I went back to starting the story off with a concert (I find that I've had a devil of a time figuring out where to start this story, but duh, it should start at the beginning, and this is the beginning). In this draft, it incorporates some elements from many previous attempts.

Sweat covered her whole body, cementing her white dress against her skin. It had the effect of revealing the curves of her bust and hips, her largest and most coveted features. For ninety minutes, the crowd experienced the extent of her talents and watched her voluptuous body swaying, bouncing, jumping to the rhythm. They ran the gamut of all her most popular songs.

Her eyes—the shape and color of almonds—spied on her manager, Lester. His arms were crossed across his chest, resting on his bulbous stomach. The expression on his red, flabby, sweaty face told her exactly what he expected, which was to take a bow and exit for the night. Then, her car would whisk her to the after-party in Olympia. Even though it’d offer a cornucopia of pleasures, it never measured up to the thrill she of the stage, where the spotlight was focused solely on her.

She pivoted towards the stage, and thick strands of wet golden hair bounced off her shoulders. Walking towards the stage, she faced the [crowd] with her arms outstretched. Shouts coalesced into a continuous roar.

Probably could use some touch-ups of some kind, but this represents the best of my abilities at the moment. I tend to put the focus on a couple of areas: keeping things moving with physical action, and leveraging narrative voice. Hopefully you can read this with Mary's attitudes reflected in the prose, which will provide more insight on her character (even in third person). There are other priorities that are layered into the text, such as putting some focus on the tension with Lester, and hinting at a place called Olympia, which is a part of the world-building. Ultimately, I think it reads a little less like cringe, and I certainly hope it reads a little more like substance.

I still have plans to take a crack at yet another redraft of this story. I stopped my last attempt when I realized the whole story could take a completely different direction. The antagonist could die in the first quarter of the story (but come back to life through cloning). The powers that be would try to clone a new version of Mary when she takes to the streets--in the original draft, Mary found her clone and killed it (because symbolism!). But maybe it'd be more interesting if her clone was left alive to take Mary's place. But then, it could be a whole new book to show the clone's perspective, experiencing harassment from a seeming doppelganger, only to find that Mary is an older, hardened version of herself. And what the heck, the two could team up like the two Arnolds in The Sixth Day. Why not?

There are actually a myriad of other issues that plagued my older drafts and have kept me from pushing this as a publishable product. It simply isn't ready just yet. The plot could be better, and worst of all, the writing style was pretty weak in my older days. I am working to bring the writing, plotting, and characterization up to par to best realize this story in the best way. There is a potentially cool experience in this project, and work will continue to refine it until it's the best it can be.

My Own Character Descriptions

Some combination of re-reading my older drafts and toying around with the Freepik AI image generator spurred me to think harder on the way I've employed character description in my own writings. I've found that my methods have changed over time as my understanding of the craft changed. I thought it'd be a neat exercise to pull up my various character descriptions to explore what worked and what didn't.

Note About AI Images

I understand that AI image generation is a controversial tool that doesn't create "real" art, but a mere copycat based on countless real artists. It is not my intention to undercut or exploit real artists--I only wanted to use AI as a tool to quickly visualize my written word, in place of me trying to sketch my characters (but unfortunately my drawing skills are extremely janky). If I get the chance, I would consider these images for marketing purposes, but for a proper book covers or published illustrations, I'd rather support real human artists.

Characters can hit very different between how they are written in the text and how they appear in artwork. It has been eye-opening for me seeing how my text can be interpreted by a machine. In the spirit of showcasing ideas behind the scenes though, I will post the AI images to go with the descriptions.

Early Attempts

My oldest writings are as off-the-cuff as they come, with me simply plopping down the details as they came to me, often in one big infodump. I'm pretty sure there are cases where I didn't even bother describing certain characters. Much of it carries an amateurish quality, but as I peek into some of the older literature I used to read, I'm pretty sure I just modelled my style off of older conventions that have since changed.

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In my first novel, Rider of the White Horse, I barely even described the main character. As the story progresses, however, he does gain longer hair and a beard (then shaves it). His only other unique feature are his gray eyes--gray, because of his heritage as a clone. In this book, I have described other characters--here is an excerpt that describes a distinguished side character (the protagonist at this point is referred to simply as "the soldier" and has no name):

There was a man standing there. He was tall, but not as tall as the soldier, and he had hazel eyes and black hair. He was of medium build and he wore an elegant uniform; the soldier guessed that his uniform signified some important rank. Perhaps this was the warden or a Warlord, but he could not tell. He appeared charismatic, dignified, and intelligent.

Just your average El Presidente.

This is quite straightforward, breezing through all the basic characteristics. The sentences are rather bland though, with too many that simply state "he was x" or "he was y." Just about all of these could be jazzed up easily, replacing "was" with stronger verbs (such as "he stood tall" or "his hazel eyes gazed"). Comparing height to the soldier is probably pointless since we have no idea how tall the soldier actually is (at least in this scene). Worst of all though, the last sentence is pure telling and not showing--all those characteristics concerning charisma, dignity, and intelligence are best left unstated, with the character's actions expressing those qualities in the story.

If you think that's bad, wait until you hear this guy talk. For whatever reason, I made his stereotypically British, like that airplane pilot from 1999's The Mummy or something. Imagine the President of the last humans strutting around like "cheerio old chap!" and it is a little goofy.

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My next novel, The Garrison, introduced its main character with the following text:

He was a paladin: a special knight trained to uphold virtue and morality in the kingdom. His name was Sir Seth Chamberlain. He was a tall, young man, muscled from long years of tough practice at arms, yet wise from long years of education. He was seen as strong, but compassionate; firm, but merciful. His cool green eyes reflected the virtue within him, and instilled peace in everyone he looked upon.

Wow. So heroic.

Once again, I had hinged too much on a lot of telling and not much showing (although his actions are heroic throughout the story). It was brought to me attention much later in life that Seth's description is a little too glamorous, and I realized I had created a Gary Stu. He is described (and ultimately characterized) as flawlessly righteous and good, and it comes across as rather silly. I think the narrative voice has also shifted to a more objective standpoint, likely because I treated this story with more of a storyteller's voice (like Stephen King's Eyes of the Dragon, although he had done it much more effectively).

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Other short stories and novel drafts I made have fared no better. One of the more distinctive characters I invented (but might not actually use) was in an ambitious military sci-fi novel I tried to make as a trilogy--a big epic titled Void. This character was made distinctive by having purple eyes. The in-universe explanation was that she grew up on another world (and the insinuation is that genetics could change over generations in an alien environment). Her introduction was written like this:

“Tonight is a beautiful night, is it not?” an accented voice questioned.

“Most,” Jack replied. Turning to face the voice, he immediately froze. Before him was a woman with short white hair and purple eyes - characteristics of someone born from one of the colonies beyond Earth. Her lips were full, her face was soft, and her body was slim. Jack found her striking.

I kinda wish I described her hair more explicitly--it should have been in a bob style, like these pictures. 

I also see that I described her voice as "accented," but didn't specify which one. She was likely meant to have an accent from planet Aquarii, although that doesn't exist in real life--it would have been helpful to describe that voice in some way (and it likely would have resembled a French accent to some degree). Funnily enough, I never bothered describing the main character, Jack. At least not in this draft.

When I attempted to redraft Void in 2016 or so, I described this character with the following introduction scene:

Looking up, Jack beheld a young woman with fine white hair that came down to her neck. She had a lean and slender figure beneath her black and purple uniform. Most striking of all, Jack noticed her purple irises ordaining her smooth narrow face; they gleamed with vitality, but made her appear exotically otherworldly. Checking her rank along her arm, Jack counted six bars, identifying her as a Master-Sergeant.

Better? Worse? I dunno.

This text might be a grade more dynamic, but it's still plagued with some telling-not-showing details (especially describing her as "exotically otherworldly," that is two adjectives smashed together and that's pretty bad). Some time after writing this, I started to lay off of the semicolons and verbal phrases (although both are grammatically legal, I don't think they served me as well as I thought they did).

Upon re-reading some of these older writings, I found myself liking the older directions better. The purple-eyed woman, for example, was originally named Kara Storvy, but I was worried it might be a little too off or something so I renamed her to Kayla Naemora in another draft. Looking at it now, I seem to prefer the original name--Storvy. Even the original descriptive paragraph seems to read fine now, whereas the redrafted version feels more stylistically try-hard. Sometimes a simple style is all you really need.

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One of the worst descriptions I've written is the following. This was from a bizarre space-opera trilogy I attempted to put together: it was a very cringey, try-hard mess of nonsense, and for whatever reason my writing style was at its absolute worst.

One of the newcomers was a young lady named Ryla Corinthia. She was twenty-five years old with soft turquoise eyes and sandy blonde hair. She was slender and beautiful.

One happy...prisoner?

This was wedged in the middle of a larger paragraph, where Ryla exits a shuttle and enters a labor camp. The AI image is a heck of a lot more colorful than I originally envisioned (and Ryla herself appears so dang happy despite the fact she was framed and her whole life fell apart).

The problem with the text is that it's so bland, so matter-of-fact, and so direct. There is no good narrative voice to this--precisely because it's a very objective type of third person before I really understood what omniscient voice should be. Calling out her exact age is a little too precise and it's not a detail anybody really needs--her being young is enough. The last sentence--slender and beautiful--seems so hasty, on-the-nose, and could be seen as another show-don't-tell violation. The more I look at this specific story, the more I hate it (although I like this character's name--Corinthia, would have been fitting for a Star Wars character, and Star Wars one of my influences for this).

My main character in this saga--Rathen Maddox--was introduced with this enthralling sentence:

Gerard looked around the mess hall like a predator. His eyes settled on a man sitting alone at the corner of the room; a big man with big muscles. He had blue eyes and messy black hair.

Rathen at the beginning is rather non-ceremoniously described in the most simplest of sentences: a big muscle man with black hair. It's as vague as can be. I likely modelled him after Guts from Berserk, especially since Rathen starts this saga as a brute. He is a corporate scientist of some kind who was wronged though, so he has a classier background than this. Later in the story, after he escapes from prison, he gets to wear a nice suit with a gold cape...because why not? The outfit still stands out in my mind. This initial description though--it doesn't really say enough about this character, it's way too skimpy.

Missing from this picture: a cool diamond sword, because AI can't figure that out for some reason.

I tried to rewrite this around 2016 or so, changing a lot of aspects of the story and its writing style. In the redraft, Ryla's introduction read like this:

Ryla spent hours turning on the cot, trying to find a comfortable position. While she was on her side, her turquoise eyes settled on her forearm. Her name was branded there in red ink, with numbers associating her with her criminal record and sentence. It looked like a tattoo made of blood. She still felt a residual stinging on the flesh, from the sentencing process. When the robot sounded out her file, she gawked at the machine and trembled. In a broken voice, she told it, “There has to be some mistake. I should be on Mitheria Sigma at the worst. But…Corjo?”

“There is no mistake,” the robot declared, before guards carried her to the cell. The unfeeling voice continued to haunt Ryla. Her crimes were minor, and she expected to be taken to a standard prison. When she recalled her sentencing, she realized that her incarceration on Corjo was no accident. Somebody purposefully arranged for her to be there. She was accused of spying on executives. Now, they made sure that she’d never reveal the few secrets she learned.

There really isn't much description to this, but later in the text she is revealed to have blonde hair. Bigger focus was on the branding on her arm, which leads into bigger details on the world-building and larger story. I was flexing more of the introspection here, to make the POV deeper, but there are still a few weak areas. One of the things that stands out to me is the line "she recalled her sentencing, she realized that..." and all of this could have been cut. It could have simply been left as "Her incarceration on Corjo was no accident." It's a bare thought, and we know it's hers, so deep POV is achieved this way.

All that being said, more description would have been welcome. It feels skimpy to me.

In this version, I gave Rathen a different intro. Descriptions are still sparse, but I was focusing on a more arresting scene with this.

The bunker contained a pit thirty feet deep, covered by a thick iron grate. At the bottom of the pit, Rathen Maddox sat alone in pitch-black darkness. His wrists were shackled, connected to chains that tied him to the walls. The remnants of his last meal cluttered the dirt floor by his feet. 

In solitary confinement, Rathen appreciated the cold, damp air and the smell of Corjan soil. He rested his head against the pit’s wall, wanting nothing more than a clear, quiet mind.

It still seems skimpy, but like with Ryla's scene, I'm happier with the focus put on the introspection and atmosphere. That being said, this could have definitely used more. Even the descriptions that are used (like the "remnants of his last meal") could have been much more specific, to provide a clearer picture of this scene.

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Later Techniques

Some of the stories I tried to write in the last ten or more years have leveraged a variety of interesting characters, and as I learned more about the craft, some of the descriptions became more substantial. My style hasn't always worked, but it was an effort to stand out in some way.

For a long while, I tried to realize a dystopian sci-fi novel about a world where individuals have no independent thought--they are directly controlled by an omniscient AI. This book was called Thoughtless. I made the main character a blank slate on purpose, and in the course of the story he comes across a group of rebellious "deviants." This is one of them:

Leaving the car, Tom walked through the park. A few people walked on the stone paths and sat on benches. Children played on the grass, kicking a ball back and forth while laughing. Tom watched them in fascination. Even at their age, NORA spoke to them to make sure they were polite, made apt decisions, and could process through school adequately. Despite her presence, the children didn’t hold back from letting themselves run freely across the park and let shouts escape their lips.

When Tom looked at the few adults in the park, he realized that something was wrong. Somewhere between blithe childhood and apathetic adulthood, something was lost. He realized that it happened to him just as it had to everyone else. A part of himself was gone and would never come back. He never gave it any thought before, but he always knew that it happened. Now that he saw what was missing, he was disturbed.

He jumped in surprise when he noticed a woman standing next to him. He was even more startled when he saw how outlandish she dressed: fishnet stockings, a short black skirt, a denim jacket with patches haphazardly stitched at random places, a dirty midriff shirt that exposed her belly button with a steel stud in it. She looked to be twenty-five years old. Her face was smooth and angular, with sharp green eyes surrounded by black eyeshadow. Her black hair was slicked back with gel—spiky locks that pointed backwards.

Everything about her screamed deviancy—there was no way NORA would advise such attire to anyone. Tom’s suspicions became more and more valid when he saw the way she crossed her arms and stuck her nose in the air.

Regarding the children, the woman sneered and said, “What a bunch of brats.”

Tom didn’t know what to say.

Running across the grass, the woman barged in on the game and kicked the ball away. It bounced out of the park and into a busy road. A car rushed into the ball—it rolled off its hood and continued to bounce away. The children gawked at her, their faces stricken with disbelief and dismay. Turning around, the lady walked back to Tom with a devilish smile stretched across her face.

Tom blinked rapidly. “What did you do that for?”

She shrugged and replied, “Because I felt like it. What, you got a problem with it?”

“I don’t know. It’s…”

“Ohh, I know, it’s deviant, right?” The woman smirked before rolling her eyes. “So, what? Will NORA arrest me for kicking a ball? Give me a break.”

Cyberpunk 2077, eat your heart out.

This is still one of my favorite characters, precisely because I built her up as a literal punk. When I shared this text with some coworkers, one of them thought the clothing was rather risqué, but I have no plans on changing it. I was rather proud of the character's fashion choices.

I shared a lot of the scene above to demonstrate the actions and dialogue that best define the character--she's snarky. Defiant and rebellious, sure, but also irreverent and care-free. These characteristics aren't expressed with descriptors--they're shown through her actions and attitude.

Shortly after this scene, the antagonist is introduced in this scene:

Looking to the source of the voice, Tom saw a skinny figure rising up from a mattress on the floor. He was a lanky man with skinny arms and legs. Locks of messy black hair draped over his scalp, and partially covered his dark green eyes. He wore jeans and a black shirt. His sleeves were rolled up, and Tom saw that parts of his arms were bumpy and contorted—burn scars.

The figure looked Tom up and down. He turned to the woman and said, “Emilia, what did I tell you about picking up strange men?”

Shrugging, Emilia smiled innocently and answered, “Nothing.”

Few cool things going on with this scene: this is the moment the woman is positively identified by name, and the dialogue tags adjust accordingly. It might be a bit of a tropey shortcut to give a character scars and injuries to suggest a prior tragedy he endured. That is indeed the case with this guy, but I did design a backstory to explain the burn scars, which is connected to the motivation behind this character to oppose the AI called NORA. In this case, I think it would have serviced the story well. Giving the character scars without developing the backstory, however, would come across as shallow.

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These are excerpts are from my draft of Heathen, which was penned as an experiment in genres. Feedback on this description were actually positive:

[Rook] stood up from his hiding place. Sunrays sizzled the back of his neck, and his brown leather duster felt like a hot blanket. Sweat droplets beaded on his clotted strands of black hair and dripped on his gaunt cheekbones. As he descended the slope, his steel-toe boots clomped on the hard dirt.

This is one of my first attempts to try and jazz up the style. Even though this is a mash-up between cosmic horror and post-apocalyptic fiction, the wardrobe befits the desolate Utah setting, and it invokes the western genre. One of my critiquers seemed to enjoy this detail, and I suspect it works not only because of the setting, but because Rook is a kind of rugged drifter comparable to western characters like "the man with no name." This is a case where writing what you know can be helpful--I knew what this character was supposed to be as an archetype, and I wrote to that image instinctively.

There is a backstory to this character, in which he had a daughter who became lost. To give him some kind of personal attachment to the past, I gave him a gecko keychain that she once had. But to add some (unusual) personality and symbolism, I kept harping on the lizard characteristics as a motif: Rook describes her as "his little gecko," in one scene she is described as scampering "like a gecko," and in one instance she makes a face:

She made her best impression of an unamused chameleon, her thin lips stretched and her eyes bugging out. How did she make each eyeball look in different directions like that? He had to laugh again.

In a way, I had hoped to describe this character as having a lizard-like face, although this seemed to prove weird and difficult. When she appears as an adult, I gave her the following description--whether or not this reads like she has a reptilian face might depend on how the reader envisions it, so it might not come across that directly. At this point though, giving her a lizard-like face might not be as important as, simply, describing her as a real human being.

Her wide face tapered down to a narrow chin. Her lips were thin, and the corners curled upwards as if always grinning. Locks of brown hair crowned her scalp, much of which was bundled into a spiky ponytail.

This novel has plenty of other vivid characters, probably my most eclectic cast of them (by nature of this being a piece of weird fiction). In another flashback, Rook's former wife is described with the following paragraph:

Trey Smith scowled at Gretchen, who stood in front of the TV with her arms crossed. Her platinum-dyed hair was an unkempt bob that covered one of her glowering brown eyes. Her lips were drawn into a frown across her round, squat face.

Later in the story, they gained an ally, although their initial meeting is terse. I had described this new character this way, but the AI image is decidedly a bit more badass, and chances are I'll tweak the description to match it.

From inside the cavernous substation, a single figure stepped out and aimed an assault rifle at Rook and Leigh. The stranger was a woman with puffy white hair. A pair of sunglasses covered her eyes, but did little to cover the winkles that invaded her face and stretched down her flabby neck. Her torn jeans and lightweight blouse were covered in leather patches. A heavy poncho hung from her shoulders, ordained in jagged lines and squares—some kind of Navajo stuff.

Lastly, I started a side novella for this series, in which Rook encounters a community controlled by a leader obsessed with chess. There is a bit of a whimsical Alice-in-Wonderland vibe intended with this, but the text doesn't really draw attention to it--I was purely interested in presenting the character's image as-is and letting the reader imagine how fantastic the scene could be:

Sitting at the table, the White Queen studied Rook with her ice-blue eyes. Her long white hair was tied into a large bun. Her white dress hugged her slender body, with ordered lines running down her figure. A white cape draped down her back and fluttered gently in the breeze.

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Experimenting With Techniques

Over the past few years, I've tweaked my writing style to try and deliver character description in a dynamic way that meshes with the action of the story and won't slow the pacing down. Part of this means sprinkling details between character actions and dialogue. The bigger focus, however, is that I lean heavier on the verbs. It seems droll to describe a person and their details when it's still--in life though, everything is always moving. Characters can breathe. Wind can sweep through their hair. Maybe something gets in their eye and they have to blink rapidly. Maybe they're just walking. Small, mundane moments are all opportunities to sprinkle in the essential details I like to cover: hair color, eye color, body type, height, and unique features.

I haven't received enough feedback to know if my style changes actually work, but I feel more confident in this approach than in describing static scenes. I feel that this technique can work in any POV--first or third. In first, it's a way for the character to narrate about their appearance without coming across as too out-of-place and without using the dreaded cliche of having them look in a mirror. In third deep or limited, it's still the character's narration, although slightly more detached (and therefore probably more natural). In third omniscient, it's simply the author's voice.

Here's an example of my latest writing, in a fantasy novel called Kings of Zeshala, where I've sprinkled the description with the action (and I noticed I spread the description out quite a bit):

Twenty yards away [from the sphinx], Willard Valda stood by a pair of camels, which rested on the ground and chewed cud. The overhead sun beat down on his sweaty black hair, and he pulled up his cloak’s hood. He had never seen a creature like the sphinx recorded anywhere before.

At its base, an even greater wonder walked in the sphinx’s shadow. A hot breeze fluttered the white cotton thobe that encased Emmeline’s slender body. Unfazed by the sphinx’s enigmatic origins, she explored the statue’s foundation, her sky-blue eyes scanning the rubble strewn around the sand. She looked up, and long strands of auburn hair brushed across her freckled cheeks.

She called, “Willy! Won’t you get over here?”

Keeping his eyes on Emmeline, Willard left the safety of the camels and walked forward, towards the sphinx. So long as he focused on her and kept his hazel eyes off the statue, he no longer felt unnerved. She guided him like an angel.

Honestly, I think this could use more description concerning Emmeline's face, although I kept most of the focus on keeping the story moving. This might be a case where it's wiser to let the reader fill in the details with their own imaginations, especially since I didn't have any more distinguishing details behind these characters.

Also, yes, a thobe is a thing, it's not a misspelling or typo. It is a garment that befits this setting and period of history. I absolutely had to do a few seconds' worth of research to find that word, but it's there to accurately describe the type and style of clothing, which will hopefully come across as authentic. 

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Here is a scene I wrote where multiple characters are described in one big swoop. These characters appear in passing and might not be referenced again, but the descriptions serve to express the main character's disdain towards the pomp of royalty, and I wanted to use less-flattering details to villainize them to some extent. But since my main character has some sass to his narrative voice, and this was written in the style of a journal entry, this should hopefully come across as satirical.

Of course, the King’s advisor, Dolf Van Hordjen was present. Black pants squeezed his skinny legs, and with his bulbous gut nearly burst the gold buttons off his purple vest. With the fur-lined coat, he looked like some kind of disgusting fruit bursting out of a fuzzy shell. His round head protruded like some kind of pimple. The minute I stepped into the Duke’s court, Dolf’s beady eyes darted my way. When I smiled and nodded, his mouth twisted into a sneer.

Next to him was an exarch, who looked like a pale skeleton wrapped in black robes. A tall dark hat covered his scant strands of white hair, with a shawl draped from its rum down his shoulders and back. His thin, wrinkled lips were drawn into a scowl as his sunken eyes stared at me.

There were others who made it their business to stand in the Duke’s court: the treasurer, a captain of arms, some advisors. They all formed a line against the wall, in front of the Duke’s favorite tapestry—the one that showed King Krijers triumphing over the last of the Venkte tribes.

Finally, the Duke strutted into his court. His long-pointed leather shoes clapped against the marbled tile loudly. His fur-lined coat, dyed purple with red mandalas, sashayed around his lean body as he moved. When he shrugged the coat off, a servant immediately grabbed it and exited the court to hang it. In silence, he regarded all of us through wide eyes that appeared half-sleepy.

With a smack of his protruding lips, he asked, “Well?"

Character opinions can shape the reader's impression on other characters. Obviously, the above description is none too flattering towards anybody. If we switched to one of these other characters, they would likely describe themselves as handsome and Jurian as a goofy lanky stick man. If you read A Man Called Ove, the attitude of the main character leaks into the descriptions, often assigning sarcastic nicknames to his neighbors to reflect his own intolerance. This is all the value of how you tell the story using voice.

Chronicle of Progress

Across many other novel drafts and short stories, I have dozens more characters who have had varying degrees of descriptions in varying quality.

Ultimately, the point of this post is for me to plop down my old and new text to see how far I've come.  I've also been quite enamored by the AI images produced from my descriptions. No matter how interesting the characters come out (visually or otherwise), the actual written descriptions have evolved over the years. What was once a janky, unsightly chunk of exposition has gradually morphed into scattered impressions and moments that collectively build a portrait. Hopefully you can see examples of what hasn't worked in the past, and what might be working today.

Every writer handles this aspect differently, and even I might handle this differently story-to-story. In the end though, I am striving to make it as streamlined and dynamic as possible. Not only is it helpful to keep the story moving and interesting, but I also hope my characters leave a good impression.