Novel Excerpt: Perfectly Inhuman, Chapter 3

In participating in today's writer's group, I presented this excerpt from one of my works in progress:  a small sample of my novel, "Perfectly Inhuman." This is a story that's taken me nearly ten years to conceive and start producing into a tangible form.

It has gone through a few different conceptual incarnations; it was first intended to be a straightforward thriller of sorts, about a bunch of people trapped in a hovering research station, being hunted by escaped genetically-engineered monsters.  This concept was never really drafted.  Later, I decided to have the story take place in a futuristic city instead; I attempted to make a draft out of this, but got stuck, and it was eventually abandoned.  Finally, I received the right motivation and inspiration; I flipped the story's structure backwards, turned it into a revenge plot, and it's taken off nicely.  I'm currently 115 pages into it, and I see the novel's final acts in plain sight.

The story overall was initially inspired when I first saw the film "Alien:  Resurrection" (yeah, not a great film, but seeing what they did to Ellen Ripley's character helped inspire my protagonist a lot), and when I first saw the episode in "Futurama!" where Leela meets her parents for the first time ever.  The combination of the two helped me conceive of the encounter that's drafted below.  The story overall has evolved into something that I'd describe as a mix of the "Dark Angel" TV series and Fritz Lang's "Metropolis," with a slight pinch of films like "OldBoy," "Aeon Flux," and "The Sixth Day." All of these films have helped inspire me, but it is certainly not my intention to rip any of them off.  The "Hunger Games" novels have been a recent source of inspiration as well (only in the sense that it is distopian and shows a strong schism between the rich and the poor).

So, without further ado, here is one of the initial key scenes of the story.  Taking place in Cascade City, one of the last remnants of human civilization on Earth, the story follows the pop star Mary E. Weiss.  After a thrilling concert, she's fired by her manager.  Policemen show up to take Mary away; they shoot her with a paralytic nanite bullet, and she wakes up in a prison cell.  You're about to find out why this happened...

Do note that all cursing has been censored for the sake of common decency.

Feel free to critique this work.

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Perfectly Inhuman:  Excerpt, Chapter 3

    The guards guided Mary through a set of glass doors in the frosted glass partition, and they passed into a wide open office space.  The office looked much like the lobby, only instead of statues and banners there were holograms and display screens.  Contrasting with the bright floors and the bright exterior view, there was a black desk on one end of the room, made of a rare dark organic wood.
    At the desk was a man Mary only new from the news, the network, the posters, and every other form of government propaganda.  He was the city’s Mayor, Quentin Warhol.  In person, he looked slim and tall, and was dressed in a clean stylish black suit.  His head was narrow and angular, with a sharp chin.  He had green eyes, resembling laser beams that could scrutinize and penetrate everything he saw.  His black hair was neatly combed, and still slick from whatever gel he used.
    The Mayor was accompanied by a woman; a slender lady with well-toned muscles in her arms and legs.  She was clad in a tight nanobine* outfit with a leather coating.  Her face was soft, but her dark eyes were piercing and her dark hair was conveniently tied into a knot at the back of her head.  Glowering at Mary with her sharp eyes, she had a surly expression on her face.  Mary hated her instantly.
    And standing next to the Mayor and the strange woman was Lester**, looking smug.  Mary immediately darted toward him with her fist raised.  Vicious anger surged through her, thinking about Lester’s betrayal.
    Suddenly, Lester pressed the button on his remote taser, shocking Mary.  She stumbled in mid-run, crying out in pain and rage.  She struggled against the frying nerves, and continued to step toward him, ready to at least punch him in the face.
    Then, the strange woman ran up to Mary and kneed her in the gut.  With the wind knocked out of her, Mary wheezed.  The stranger grabbed her hair and threw her head into the desk, shooting pain into her cheek and making her jaw ache.  She tasted blood in her mouth.  The pain, the rage, the iron taste, and the sudden realization that she was helpless and alone, Mary started weeping feebly.
    “Enough!” Quentin demanded. “Tina, stand down.  You’ll damage her.”
    The strange woman named Tina obediently stepped back and stood perfectly still by the desk, though she still glowered wickedly at Mary with a smug little smile.
    Gradually, Mary got to her feet.  Her guards caught up to her and grabbed her arms, holding her still before the Mayor and his company.  Swallowing the blood in her mouth, she asked, “What’s the meaning of all this?”
    Turning to Lester, Quentin asked, “You haven’t told her yet?”
    “What’s the point?” Lester replied. “We’re going to wipe her memory anyway.”
    “Come now, the lady would probably be much more willing and a lot less afraid if she knew the truth.”
    “What truth?” Mary demanded. “What the frakk are you all talking about?”
    “Watch your filthy tongue, slut,” Tina snapped with a scowl.
    Quentin told Mary, “You must excuse my Elite Security Commander.  She can actually be quite the respectable lady when she wants to be.  Can’t you, dear Tina?”
    “Mary Weiss is a whore,” Tina remarked, still glaring at Mary. “I don’t see why any of this is necessary.  Let me take care of her instead.  I can do it very painlessly and easily; a simple snap of the spine, and she’ll be out of her misery.”
    “No Tina, you will not kill the guest of honor,” Quentin chuckled. “There are some HLF terrorists being held in the courtyard prison house; you can kill one of them.”
    “With pleasure, as always,” Tina sighed, before strolling out of the office.
    When she was gone, Quentin continued, “Now, I only think it’s fair that you should know what’s going on, what we plan to do with you, and why.  As you may have surmised, Lester and I are close acquaintances; a liaison with the North Island Record Company, so I can have a loose connection with the city’s entertainment industry.”
    “So the government controls North Island?”
    “We control more than you realize.  Freedom in Cascade City, or the world for that matter, is only an illusion.  And for the past five years, you’ve helped us maintain that illusion, effectively distracting the masses from things that they would otherwise find problematic.”
    Indignantly, Mary retorted, “I am not a sideshow!”
    “Of course not.  You’re a cultural phenomenon! But your purpose is distraction.  Let me put it to you this way:  if a city guard catches a criminal and rightfully executes him in the street, witnesses see it, tell others, and word spreads all over that the police murdered someone.  Before long, people start making demands.  They ask for human rights and civility.  They protest and complain.  They say that the government is corrupt, tyrannical, and evil.  That’s negative press, and it affects everybody.  Negativity seethes into the city and turns its people sour, and in turn forces me to take even more drastic measures.  Remember, it was only seven years ago that the Human Liberation Front infiltrated Capitol Tower and assassinated the Director of Censorship.”
    “I remember hearing about that,” Mary muttered.  It was a major incident in which hundreds of rebels stormed the Capitol district and killed many police guards.
    “Undoubtedly.  That kind of news affects people and their opinions.  And if these kinds of incidents keep reaching people, they start siding with the rebels, and little by little we lose this city.
    “But you give them something good and positive, to balance out all this harsh negative reality.  You provide the escapism, and make people feel good.  You promote the freedom that people really want; freedom of love and sexuality.  With those things alone, people don’t care about murderous policemen, terrorists, or anything else.  Mary, thanks to you, this city is the most peaceful and prosperous in the world!”
    Being praised so richly, Mary felt awkward, and she stammered, “Well, thank you, I guess.”
    “There are a dozen popular artists working for the North Island Record Company now; their work will continue to entice the people for generations to come.  Your role in this is over.  Your career is officially retired.  It’s time for you to move on.”
    “What are you talking about?” Mary demanded. “I was just telling Lester that I want a new concept album! I can make better work still! I can make something that tells the people how I really think and feel!”
    “But that’s not what we want, Mary.”
    Mary’s heart sank and a frown crossed her face, when she realized just how forcibly her career was ending.  With a chuckle, Quentin continued, “Did you not hear what I said? We want escapism! If you intend to populate your music with cold hard reality, then the fantasy is broken, and the people start losing interest.”
    “But…what about my creativity? My art? I still have so much I can do!”
    “This is not about art! Let me tell you, there have been thousands of so-called artists in the thousands of years of history before the Great Floods! Some preached about freedom, others argued for the necessity of control.  Some spoke of love and others about hate.  Some of these artists were praised for their work, and others were burned at the stake! It’s all subjective Mary; all art is judged by the observers and the critics, not the artist.  If your message doesn’t coincide with my objectives, then I will burn you at the sake like the heretic you are.”
    “You frakk!”
    Smirking, Quentin said, “Mary, you have such a perfect body.  It’s only your attitude that needs adjusting.”
    Lester shrugged and said, “Sorry sir, but five years being spoiled rotten, in the hands of so many men, made her a little too demanding and conceited.”
    “Indeed.  I hope the memory wipe will alter this.”
    “It will be a whole new personality.”
    Feeling dread in the pit of her stomach, Mary questioned, “What are you talking about? Why are you going to mess around with my mind?”
    “Like I was saying, Mary, your career is over.  Another artist will take your place; probably that Sylvia Lockhart***.  You will become a whole new woman.  You will be my wife.”
    The words felt like daggers in her ears, and she was disgusted at the very thought of marrying Quentin.  She spitefully retorted, “Like Hell I will! You have a really awful way of proposing! I’ll never be your wife! Forget you!”
    Lester held up his remote taser, but Quentin restrained him and said, “You will be mine.  It’s all been arranged already.  It’s perfect; a partner like you can really boost my prestige and give a good impression to the people.”
    “You can’t do this! You can’t make me do anything! I have rights!”
    “No you don’t Mary.  Only human beings in this city have civil rights.”
    “Are you calling me an animal? I am a human being just like anybody else! Don’t tell me I have no rights!”
    “No Mary, I seriously mean it.  Legally, you have no rights.  You are not a human being.  You are a clone.”

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*Nanobine is a fictitious form of clothing in this story; it is a type of material using nanites (microscopic robots) to allow for changing shape, sizes, colors, and strength.  Nanobine is a common, albeit expensive, material in Cascade City.

** Lester was Mary's manager during her employment in the North Island Record Company.  He was responsible for incapacitating Mary and bringing her to the Mayor's office.

*** Sylvia Lockhart is another pop singer in the employ of the North Island Record Company.  Mary and Sylvia are rivals, even though they work for the same corporation.


Copyright 2012 Alan Paananen, all rights reserved.

FIlm Review: Cutthroat Island

"Congratulations, madam. There's another town you've destroyed." - Matthew Modine

In its day, "Cutthroat Island" was the most entertaining pirate adventure that I was ever aware of. Coming from the director of "Cliffhanger," you just know that this film is going to have enough explosions to make Michael Bay jealous. Sure enough, the film is loaded with explosive action and hard-hitting sword fights. A lot of the action dominates the film's final act, which is pretty much an all-out extravaganza of wild swashbuckling, booming muskets, and ear-shattering cannon fire. The rest of the film is fairly light and adventurous; maybe not perfectly-paced, but not too boring either. It also tries its best to be hard-edged, but it never really feels like anything more than a mere PG-13 flick.  In this day and age, the "Pirates of the Caribbean" series totally supplants this film in all areas.

The story for "CI" is pretty straightforward, and dare I say standard fare. Pirates get a hold of a map, find some treasure, then duke it out. That's pretty much it. The film tries its best to make the plot roll up and down in a standard thrill-ride formula, stretching the thin story out to fill the runtime. Even though it entertains, it's not terribly deep or anything. The best that can be said is that the characters are likable (including the villain).

The film looks nice, with some decent and stylish photography and editing. Acting is not too bad; I enjoyed Geena Davis, Matthew Modine, and Frank Langella in their roles. Writing is not terribly sophisticated, but it gets the job done. This production has sets, props, and costumes that look the part and fit in with the film's settings. Music is appropriately adventurous.

Maybe not the best film in this genre, but it certainly entertains.  It's worth a rental.

4/5 (Entertainment: Good | Story: Average | Film: Pretty Good)

Film Review: Demolition Man

"Send a maniac to catch a maniac." - Sylvester Stallone

This film starts off looking like pretty standard 1990s action fare; you can expect to see lots of cheesy shootings, stuntwork, relentless explosions, etc. The twist is, as the main character is condemned as a criminal, he becomes cryogentically frozen, and is busted out in the future to combat his old enemy again. What comes next is not only more action, but a surprising amount of hilarious comedy.

Most of the film takes place in a utopia that's so ridiculous and absurd, one can't help but to laugh. It's a future where Taco Bell takes over and the one and only restaurant in the US. The radio plays nothing but old commercial jingles from products long past. Sex is nothing more than a virtual-reality video game. Cursing is forbidden, and an alarm goes off every time a character swears. They don't even have toilet paper in the future!

The key element, however, is that all things unpleasant have become forbidden, including violence. So naturally, when the ludicrously violent criminal Simon Phoenix starts rampaging across this utopia and upsetting the balance, the police decide to restore the balance by unleashing another 20th century brute: the Demolition Man. What ensues in between the funny encounters of the 21st century is a thrill ride filled with explosive, over-the-top action. With its fine mix of satirical comedy and thrilling action, the film appeals to all sci-fi and action movie fans.

Most of the story has been described above, and it has its share of brilliance. The satire is frequently dispensed and often funny; regardless of how ridiculous these things are, the film plays it straight enough that it's easy to suspend disbelief. The film goes into some level of plotting and counter-plotting, but it's never complex. It's a light story that's easy to digest, and filled with likable characters.

The film is captured with adequate, but never great, photography and editing. Acting is great from all the parties involved. Wesley Snipes plays the villain so hilariously well. Sylvester Stallone plays his usual action-hero schtick. Sandra Bullock is perfectly perk and peppy in her role. Everybody else is decent. Writing is not too shabby. This production has sets, props, costumes, and special effects that appear appropriately futuristic, but are not aging well. Music is alright.

Recommended!

4/5 (Entertainment: Good | Story: Pretty Good | Film: Pretty Good)

Video Game Review: Dark Void

There is a lot of potential in this game; it's basically like "The Rocketeer" on an alien planet.  You get to play a adventurer of sorts who gets warped through the Bermuda Triangle to a place called The Void, where a race of oppressive aliens called Watchers plot to take over the world.  After a few levels, you get to meet Nikola Tesla, who is also trapped in The Void, and that's when you get your jetpack and take the fight to the skies.  From there, it's a pretty fun romp as you fly all over the place, shooting down UFOs, blowing up the robotic Watchers, and ultimately leading humanity to its salvation.

The biggest draw to this game will be its seamless transitioning from standard cover-based FPS action, to a really neat "vertical cover" option (in which you can jetpack up and down vertical surfaces, shooting up or down or all around at enemies), to just taking off and flying all over the place.  Of course, if you aren't careful, it's all too easy to double-tap the button and have the jetpack slam you into a stone wall, resulting in instantaneous death (which can either be frustrating, or hilarious, depending on the situation).  Overall, I found the combat enjoyable and smooth.  It's made all the more satisfying with the fantastic art designs for the world of the Void, and for the Watchers with their really cool robotic exoskeletons and vehicles.

The story for this game has a cool premise, but its execution leaves much to be desired.  It is successful at merging an old-fashioned sense of adventure with modern sci-fi.  However, the story incorporates an awful lot of cliches, and a lot of the plot elements come off as underdeveloped or unrefined.  The last act feels especially rushed (and as a result, the final boss is pretty darn easy to beat).  The final cutscene proves to be something of a downer.  Overall, it has a few strengths, but many weaknesses.

Unfortunately, the game itself exhibits a lot of weaknesses as well.  Most level designs aren't too bad, but you can expect lots of glitches (including some that affect trophies, so be careful).  Graphics overall are not terrible, but not great either.  Same goes for the voice-acting.  The best that can be said is that the game has some really cool-looking art design, the gameplay feels smooth, and it's not too hard or frustrating to play.  Upon completion of the game, it is very easy to revisit the episodes to find more collectables, trophy hunt, or just to experience things all over again.

This game has its share of weaknesses, and I can't blame folks if they think it stinks.  Regardless, with its easy gameplay and its concepts, I found the game quite enjoyable without being overbearing or overtaxing; it's a casual, relaxing affair.  If you're at all interested, it should be worth ten bucks or so.

3.5/5 (Entertainment:  Very Good | Story:  Average | Game:  Average)

Film Review: The Dark Knight Rises

" I learned here that there can be no true despair without hope." - Tom Hardy

There was a phrase in Batman Begins that not only provided some decent wisdom, but would also define the structure and themes of Christopher Nolan’s Batman saga: “Why do we fall?” “So we can learn to pick ourselves up.” Batman Begins succeeded at detailing the origins, and the rise, of the Batman character. The Dark Knight provided a twisting series if complex challenges that pushed Batman and every other character to their limits, and it ultimately ended with Batman falling from grace, at least in the eyes of Gotham City’s public. Naturally, this finale presents a danger that calls for Batman to come out and literally rise to the challenge.

The Dark Knight Rises has its share of impressive action: there are a few fights and chases in the beginning half, but the most impressive scenes occur toward the end, when the forces of order and chaos clash in the streets. Sadly, these scenes are not nearly as lengthy or awe-inspiring as I would have expected, but what we see on screen is pretty impressive and shows good ambition.

The story still takes precedence overall. It borrows a few elements from the Knightfall series of comics (even more than I expected, actually, and I am pleased; I always felt this comic series would have made for an epic Batman film). The most prominent them, which prevails in both the comic and this film, is that Batman suffers, rebuilds himself, and rises to fight again. Characters remain as strong and endearing as ever, and the film’s new characters don’t disappoint. The film presents Bane as a truly menacing villain with a strong presence, and he fulfills the role of a megalomaniac extremely well (in direct contrast to the Joker, who wanted to achieve the same results but never had the same ambition or intellect). The plot is a little screwy in the way it covers nearly a year’s worth of events in a very short time. Regardless, the film tells the story in a manner that feels neither rushed nor padded. By its end, it rounds off all the characters, all the themes, and most loose ends in a way that satisfies, but also begs for a second glance (and perhaps a sequel, although I doubt that will ever happen).

As expected, the film is stylish, with lots of pleasing photography. The editing is not quite as blunt as it was in TDK, but it’s still distinctive. Acting and writing are great. Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, and Gary Oldman all return and fulfill their roles really well. Tom Hardy and Anne Hathaway are both impressive with their roles. I didn’t expect much out of Joseph Gordon-Levitt, but he exceeded my expectations and provided a quality performance. This production has plenty of good-looking sets, props, costumes, and special effects. Hans Zimmer’s music score is as good here as it is in the other two films.

As it is with other major film franchises (whether it be Star Wars, Pirates of the Caribbean, Back to the Future, etc), Nolan’s Batman saga takes on the familiar pattern where all three films show equal quality, but the first or second come off as the most endearing. I personally find myself sticking with The Dark Knight as my favorite of the lot; I suspect because it did so much that was untraditional in films, much less superhero films. But Rises has its share of strengths, and chances are that I’ll probably grow to enjoy it just as much as the others. Altogether, it succeeds at providing a heck of a grand finale, while still concluding the overall story arc.

5/5 (Entertainment: Very Good | Story: Perfect | Film: Perfect)

Film Review: The Dark Knight

"This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object." - Heath Ledger

Having established Batman as a butt-kicking ninja-trained hero in Batman Begins, TDK takes the characters and story into the next level; one that is deeper, darker, more convoluted, and ultimately more intense. I think that while the previous film still bears the semblance of an average superhero film, this sequel strikes me more as a crime drama; there are no megalomaniac plots or outlandish supervillians, the focus is more on the ramifications of Batman’s actions (socially and personally) and the ongoing conflict between order and chaos within Gotham City.

The story has its share of action (the police escort scene has got to be one of my favorite car chase scenes of all time) but none of it is as frivolous as it would be in any other action movie. All of the action and violence occurs through the tragic consequences of the story, which takes on many drastic twists and turns (sometimes straining to suspend some disbelief). At its core, the story focuses really well on the themes of social and personal corruption, terrorism (strong parallels to modern issues in combating terrorism, and the film even includes a little blip about privacy invasion), and morality. In fact, morality is the prevailing element, for Batman’s moral code is tested and pushed to its limit; much of the story’s conflicts revolve around him trying to maintain it in himself and others.

Going hand-in-hand with the story is a strong group of characters. Bruce Wayne probably doesn’t get as much development as he had in Batman Begins, but the Joker and Harvey Dent definitely take precedence and are portrayed perfectly.

The biggest thing that catches my attention in this film (and in all things in general) is duality. The Joker is presented as the perfect foil to Batman; both characters are equal and opposite, and exert an equal and opposite force onto Gotham City. The Joker’s lines say it the best: “This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object.”

As such, the writing is really impressive, as is the film’s direction. Much of the photography is great, and the editing style is very interesting. Acting is impressive; Heath Ledger performed perfectly as the Joker, and Aaron Eckhart is effective as Harvey Dent. Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, and Gary Oldman all return with pleasing results. Maggie Gyllenhaal stands in for Katie Holmes’ character, offering the only weak performance of the lot. The production value is high; the film has some impressive set pieces, locations, costumes, and a slick style overall. And the music score is awesome as well.

For a while, I called this my top favorite superhero/comic-book themed film, and it took its place as my fourth favorite of all time. Highly recommended!

5/5 (Entertainment: Perfect | Story: Perfect | Film: Perfect)


This film is #4 on my Top 100 Favorite Movies list.

Film Review: Batman Begins

"If you make yourself more than just a man, if you devote yourself to an ideal, and if they can't stop you, then you become something else entirely." - Liam Neeson

Following the works of Tim Burton and Joel Schumacher, Christopher Nolan presents a new and improved Batman movie more heavily grounded in reality (or about as real as a comic-book hero film can be), and with a strong emphasis on in-depth storytelling and style.

Despite the emphasis on character development and drama, the film is entertaining. It might even be more entertaining than all the other films before it. Action is frequent and impressive. Some of the fights might be hard to see with the shaky cameramanship and fast editing, but the car chase, the stuntwork, the (few) special effects, and the finale are all very noteworthy. In between the major action scenes, the story moves with a fast and tight pacing. There’s hardly a dull moment.

At its core though, this telling of Batman presents a very strong story, filled with deep characters, strong themes, and detailed nuances. The story itself is pretty solid, for as the mystery unravels it proves to be cleverly sublime and tight. What is most important is the character development though; Bruce Wayne’s origins are explored in depth and with solid reasoning behind his ascension into a masked vigilante. Going hand-in-hand with this portrayal are strong themes about fear, morality, and ultimately the value of decisive action. And as the Batman character comes into a fully-realized being, a lot of interesting concepts are poured into it like hot iron filling an ingot; using fear as a weapon, the principles of ninjutsu, the power of symbols, to name a few. And on top of all that, the physical genesis of the character is explored more thoroughly than ever before; we finally see where he gets all his cool gadgets from, where his costume came from, how he gained the trust of key law enforcement officers, among other things. All of these concepts work together to make the story more believable, whereas in previous movies nothing was defined and everything about the character simply existed without any basis. The movie gets high marks as it is for utilizing previously unused opportunities. I’d give it even higher marks for its strong themes.

As a film, it is interesting. Photography is superb throughout, with plenty of unique imagery and camera angles. Editing is very rough, with some choppy action scenes, but most of the time it works to create a unique and frenetic style. Acting is excellent all around; Christian Bale shows both aggression and subtlety in his dual-natured role, Michael Caine makes for a wise and witty butler, Cillian Murphy and Liam Neeson are cool as the villains, and Gary Oldman is perfect as Jim Gordon. It’s also pretty cool seeing Katie Holmes, Morgan Freeman, Rutger Hauer, and Ken Watanabe in the mix. Production value is very high, with loads of excellent sets, props, costumes, weapons, cars, gear, and everything else. The music score is epic!

5/5 (Entertainment: Very Good | Story: Perfect | Film: Very Good)