This is it: one of the most notorious critical failures in blockbuster
history. This film promises a hip, new, action-packed rendition of the
classic British spy show: a slick hybrid of explosive action, thrills,
and quirky humor.
The film definitely tries its best to be quirky, to the point where
nearly every scene is weird and off-the-wall. Such eccentricities
include a council of villains who dress up as giant teddy bears. There
are at least a couple of scenes where old ladies whip out throwing
knives or machine guns. The heroes are chased by robot bees at one
point. One of the characters has an evil clone, with no explanation as
to how or why. There are oodles of other odd things going on here, but
the film pushes its quirkiness over the top with its script, in which
every single line is a pun. Seriously, nobody ever talks normally in
this film: every line is a funny remark, and it can get old really
fast. The spaces in between these odd parts are filled up with
fighting, explosions, chases, fighting, explosions, fighting, and more
fighting!
My personal experience with this film has always been mixed; it's
something I always wanted to like, but never could. The standard tropes
of outlandish spy thrillers are there, and the action can be okay to
watch at times. Unfortunately, the storytelling makes this a far duller
experience, because there is no real story here to tell. With a
whopping 28 minutes cut from the film in post-production, the plot is
reduced to a constant string of action scenes, one after another, with
zero character development, and zero reasoning given for why things
happen on screen. In the end, it's hard to really latch onto this film
beyond the aesthetics.
And the aesthetics get the job done. Photography isn't too bad.
Editing is pretty stupid. Everybody in this film hams up their
performances to match the quirky nature of the film. Ralph Fiennes
bears a crud-eating grin the whole time, but still manages to channel
enough charm and wit to make the most out of what he's given. Uma
Thurman is pretty much reprising her role as Poison Ivy from B&R.
Sean Connery doesn't seem to give a flying rip about anything, and in
spite of that he seems to be the only one here taking his role
seriously, even when he struts around in a kilt. I have no idea what
Jim Broadbent and Eddie Izzard are doing here. Writing is horrible.
This production uses okay-looking sets, props, and costumes. Special
effects have not aged well. Joel McNealy's score is annoyingly
repetitive and loud (which is a shame, because the movie's theme is not
bad per se, and the CD soundtrack has been a favorite of mine since high
school).
There may have been potential in this film somewhere, but so much of the
story has been carved out in post-production that it leaves only a
threadbare semblance of a plot, and a ton of frivolous action and
ridiculous scenes. It's an interesting oddity at times, and a glorious
guilty pleasure in its own right, but overall, it is the ultimate
example of how a film with all style and no substance can fall flat on
its face.
2/5 (Entertainment: Pretty Good | Story: Awful | Film: Marginal)
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