Film Review: Cleopatra (1963)

Back in the day, Cleopatra promised to offer the same brand of entertainment that had been such a hit with movies like Ben Hur: a massive and expensive epic with thousands of extras, huge setpieces, and dazzling star-power. It was so big, its sheer budget nearly ran Fox Studios to the ground.

The film is definitely a lavish sight to behold. The settings are very expansive and imaginatively rendered; the costumes are glamorous; the actors present very passionate performances. There are a couple of major battles, where giant armies (or navies) assemble on screen and launch flaming projectiles at each other. At times, the film shines brilliantly with its ambition and glamor.

However, sitting through the film is also a chore at times. It runs for four hours, and in between the more interesting and exciting scenes, there's a lot of padding with the dialogue and politics. It's not a total bore, but the distance between the major plot and character points seemed so far in between, it can test one's patience.

Which is a shame, because there's much to be said about the timeless story of Julius Caesar, Cleopatra VII, and Marc Anthony. History buffs will already be familiar with the story, and the film does the whole affair decent justice. The film maintains decent accuracy, despite one or two anachronisms and liberties. The story overall is solidly constructed, and the characters are given good attention. Some of the most interesting scenes focus on the characters constantly competing for control over each other, and ultimately control over the kingdoms of Rome and Egypt. However, most of the conflict is kept subtle, and thus contributes to the slow pacing of the movie.

With no expense spared on the film, it looks very lavish and competent. It's well-shot and well-edited. Acting is swell: I grew quite fond of Elizabeth Taylor's portrayal of the title character, while Richard Burton, Rex Harrison, and Roddy McDowell do their best to make their characters bold and powerful. Writing is quite detailed and elegant. This production has some very gorgeous sets, props, and costumes; however, certain things look a little too plastic, and certain things (especially Cleopatra's wardrobe) look a little too 20th century. The music score is quite lovely too.

This film is probably more memorable for the behind-the-scenes dilemmas that cemented its fate as a moderate box office flop. Aside from going tremendously over-budget, Elizabeth Taylor nearly perished during an illness while filming, and had to be rushed to the hospital for an emergency tracheotomy. The production had to be relocated to Rome for a while, and during the editing process, the film was wheedled down beyond the director's desired runtime. In spite of these issues, the film was considered the end of a magnificent era, in the same fashion as Cleopatra's death marked the end of a historic era.

Despite the sheer length and slow pacing of the film, I am glad to have seen it, for it has its moments. I'm particularly fond of its performances and setpieces; I just wish there was more to it.

3.5/5 (Entertainment: Marginal | Story: Pretty Good | Film: Very Good)

Writing: All About Conflict

You may have a great idea for a story, and you may have the deepest and most profound characters at your disposal, but what are you supposed to do with them? When it comes to creating a plot, it needs something to drive the characters from one plot point to another, until a climax of some kind is reached. Typically, that driving force is conflict. Conflict can come in many different forms, but it’s usually the biggest thing that motivates characters and creates the necessary actions and reactions to move plotlines. It is possible to make stories without conflicts; you could have stories driven purely by mystery or discovery, but sometimes I find stories without conflict to be frustrating, because nothing really seems to happen in them.

Conflict is defined as a clash, or incompatibility between two or more characters or forces. As far back as ancient Greece, conflict (otherwise known as the agon) was found to be the necessary element of a story, especially to hold the audience’s interest. In those days, conflict was generated between a protagonist and an antagonist. The outcome of conflict could not be known in advance, to generate suspense, and the hero’s struggle would ultimately be ennobling. To this day, the agon is identified as the central unit of a plot.

When it comes to conflict, the following should be kept in mind:

• Conflict can be either external – such as having characters fighting one another – or it can be internal, within a character’s mind.
• A given story can have many conflicts running through it; the more conflicts it has, the more complicated it gets, so some fine balancing is needed. 
• The easier it is for a protagonist to win, the less value there is in the drama. Invincibility doesn’t necessarily make for an interesting struggle.
• The antagonist must act upon the protagonist, and must seem at first to outmatch him/her. This can give the protagonist something to work towards.
• For godlike characters, a great villain, or a natural weakness, should be invented to create drama. Or scenarios developed to constrain powers (such as a moral code) in either the protagonist or antagonist.
• Conflict should be resolved by a story’s end. It’s pretty frustrating if it isn’t.
• Ultimately, all conflict is driven by character motivation. Ask yourself, what do these characters want? 
• Naturally, things should also be believable/creditable. Avoid gaps in logic, especially regarding character motivation. It’s also advisable to avoid predictability.

Conflict can come in the following forms:

• Man vs Man: External conflict, one character physically engaging another. Could be a direct opposition (fist fight, gun fight, sword fight, kung-fu fight, lightsaber fight, car chase, all of the above in one crazy scene) or something more subtle (a battle of wits, a romantic dilemma, a debate, a family feud, etc).
• Man vs Society: External conflict, in which one character stands up against a man-made institution. Characters may be forced to make moral choices, or are frustrated by social rules which may interfere with their own goals.
• Man vs Nature: External struggle between a character and animals or forces of nature. It is argued that this may not be considered a real conflict, since nature itself has no free will and can’t make choices.
• Man vs Self: Internal, a character must overcome his own nature and make a choice between one or two paths (good vs evil, logic vs emotion, etc). 
• Other identified conflicts that you may find but aren’t usually taught about for some odd reason:
• Man vs Machine
• Man vs Fate
• Man vs the Supernatural
• Man vs God

Most writers come across the problem of not generating enough conflict to carry a story. If you’re stuck, you might have to ask yourself, what could happen next? What’s the worst possible thing that could happen? Raising stakes (asking what these characters could lose) in a story will also make it more engaging. Will it be facing another opponent? Will the main character become caught in a thunderstorm or something? Is the government after him? Or is he having trouble coping with his own guilt? Any number of conflicts can be used to make a story more dynamic and engaging.

If you need some examples of conflict, consider the following. The film Deliverance actually embodies all manner of conflicts. There’s the Man-vs-Man conflict, first with the epic Banjo showdown, and later as the characters have a bad run-in with mountain men. There’s a definite Man-vs-Nature conflict, as everybody contends with the raging river, and later, one of the characters scales a steep cliff face (before engaging in yet another Man-vs-Man moment). After everything, there’s a Man-vs-Society conflict, as the characters come out of everything and are grilled by the police, who happen to be good friends with the people who previously attacked all these characters. In the film’s last shots, there’s a final Man-vs-Self scene that pops up, for even though the protagonist escaped everything, he’s still haunted by the nightmares of the men he murdered for the sake of survival.

Here are some other, more specific examples:

Man vs Man:

• In Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s novels, there are the continuing confrontations between Sherlock Holmes vs Professor Moriarty. What makes this really interesting is that it’s not always a physical conflict, but sometimes a battle of wits.
• James Bond always confronts a host of wicked villains and, like, a billion henchmen. Ian Fleming’s novels play these conflicts in a rather straightforward manner, but the movies usually make the villains out to mirror Bond in a lot of ways, as “foil characters.” Another interesting thing to consider is Casino Royale: Bond’s conflict with Le Chiffre is 100% a card game (the movie went on to tack on some fights, Bond getting poisoned, and other cool stuff).
• Harry Potter vs Voldemort. This is also a bit of a Man-vs-Self conflict, because a part of Voldemort was put into Harry, and vice-versa. It’s even trickier when hurting one resulted in hurting the other, and the two characters’ minds were sometimes connected.
• My personal favorite story is Kentaro Miura’s manga, Berserk. There is a ton of conflict involved with this story, as the characters go to war and confront vicious demons. The series starts out with a one-armed swordsman wreaking havoc in a town, and ultimately slaying a demon lord. The whole series, however, chronicles how Guts and Griffith came to be enemies; their friendship, and inevitable conflict, drives the whole saga. The fact they went from being friends to being enemies is one of the things that makes it more profound and emotionally investing.

Man vs Nature:

• Ernest Hemmingway’s Old Man and the Sea, the old man struggles with a big fish and all the forces of the sea.
• Stephen King’s The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon, is all about a little girl lost in the woods. She winds up fighting against a bear, but in her weakened state, just about everything comes off as a threat.
• Peter Benchley’s Jaws uses a shark as the main villain. The shark is even personified to an extent, and the narrative actually did describe how the shark hunted and devoured its victims.

Man vs Society:

• Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451, Montag winds up rebelling against the system and defecting. This same thing gets repeated in films like Equilibrium.
• George Orwell’s 1984, characters try so hard to just do their thing, but wind up contending with Big Brother.
• John Steinbeck’s Grapes of Wrath, the Joad family struggles to find work, winds up facing adversity in every town they visit.
• In Suzanne Collin's Hunger Games series, Katniss Everdeen starts off going through the various deathmatch games, making bold and subtle gestures of rebellion against the Capitol.  By the final book, she inevitably becomes a symbol of the rebellion, and becomes directly involved in the fighting.

Man vs Self:

• William Shakespeare’s Hamlet, Hamlet practically spends the entire play battling himself, questioning the morality of murdering his uncle, and even going so far as to contemplating suicide instead.
• JRR Tolkein’s Lord of the Rings, Frodo suffers from the One Ring’s corruption, and is constantly struggling to save himself from succumbing to its evil. I don’t remember if the book went this same way, but the movie shows Frodo giving into the Ring’s evil in the end. The character Gollum ultimately mirrors Frodo to a large degree, and Gollum himself presents another Man-vs-Self conflict, because he literally argues with himself (split personality).
• Just as Gollum presented a theme of addiction, the characters in Hubert Selby Jr’s Requiem for a Dream also deals a lot with addiction. In this novel, the characters’ dreams often clashed with the characters’ substance abuse, generating a vicious cycle that they couldn’t get out of.

Man vs Machine

• The Terminator films are an obvious example. All the films feature human characters fighting and running from mechanized assassins.
• The Matrix films represent even more confrontations between the human race and a legion of sentient machines hellbent on punishing mankind. What makes this interesting is that the war of the Matrix is spread across two different levels of reality (the real world and a virtual world), and the machines utilized devious means to effectively enslave the human race (going so far as to creating Zion and guiding The One to the Architect’s office, to perpetuate the vicious cycle of enslavement).
• All the Iron Man films subtly emphasize a running theme of man fighting machine, as there are moments where Tony Stark questions whether or not he is still a man, or if the suit is taking him over. This is very much an internal conflict, but in the second film, the suit was literally poisoning him.

Man vs Fate

• I don’t actually have a good example of this, but per Wikipedia, Kurt Vonnegut’s Slaughter-House Five handles this conflict. I haven’t read the book, but I’ve read that it handles some strong themes of free will and fate; if the film is any indication, then you could assert that the main character spends his time defying his own fate.

Man vs the Supernatural

• Any time you have a story about ghosts, vampires, werewolves, or other creatures, you’ll likely deal with this conflict. Stephen King does this all the time, in books like The Shining or Christine, where ghosts pose a deadly threat, and the characters have to find a way to deal with them or dispel them completely. Bram Stoker’s Dracula is all about a vampire wreaking havoc in London, so the characters band together to hunt it. The Amityville Horror deals with poltergeists.  Just about all of HP Lovecraft's stories dealt with crazy otherworldly monsters.

Man vs God

• I honestly don’t have a good example of this either. It makes sense to me though that you could write about characters having a spiritual crisis, and may mentally question or confront God. Characters losing faith can be a very strong and powerful conflict. It could even be literal if you so desire (the video game Bayonetta ultimately did end with the main character fighting God).

Film Review: Upstream Color

"Each drink is better than the last, leaving you with the desire to have one more. Take a drink now." - Thiago Martins

I knew this film was going to be weird.  Shane Carruth's debut film - Primer - was an oddity as it was, lacking in straightforward answers or explanations, but presenting a very intriguing and sturdy piece of hard science fiction.  Be warned that Upstream Color is also something that lacks a straightforward explanation.  In fact, Primer was something rather cold, with its strong basis in the scientific method; UC is far warmer and artistic, but is also more abstract.

The film may come off as slow and dull to certain viewers, especially if you're expecting a strong narrative structure or plot.  I'm usually adverse to movies that have no real plot or conflict, but with this film, it's the experience that matters.  Watching this film is a strangely mesmerizing, lucid, and smooth experience, given the exquisite imagery, nuanced performances, and quality music score.  The film's first fifteen minutes are probably the most straightforward, most interesting, and most disturbing aspect of the whole thing, and it serves as an important fulcrum point.  This much I understand:  the film starts off with the freaky notion that there's a man injecting grubs into people, which makes them susceptible to mind control.  From then on, the film tracks two such victims who inevitably come together and discover the secrets of their latent trauma.

What makes the film so weird, so cerebral, and potentially frustrating, is that things happen, and characters will say things that won't make total sense.  And most scenes are intercut with such footage as a farmer tending to pigs, and flowers growing in the wilderness.  The movie draws stark parallels between such images, to unearth some rich thematic territory.  Could such scenes reflect on life and death? Is it all about nature? Is it about love? Is it the human condition overall? The film never really tell you outright, and it gets very surreal when scenes overlap.  If you struggle to find logic behind this story, you might write it off as messy.  If you take in the experience and open your mind to interpreting the film, it'll keep your brain going and haunt you indefinitely.  It's an experience comparable to such films as Mulholland Drive.

This film is very stylish, with some beautiful photography and ingenious editing.  All actors put on decent performances, and they show a good blend of nuance and emotion.  Writing is pretty weird, given the amount of strange and unusual dialogue.  This production uses excellent sets, props, and costumes.  The music score is very exquisite.

While Primer was a film that appeals on an intellectual level, Upstream Color appeals best to the artistic side of the brain.  If you're susceptible to strange, abstract films that require lots of brainpower to interpret and understand, then this one is a perfect puzzlebox for you.  Casual audiences might want to approach this with caution.

5/5 (Experience:  Very Good | Content:  Very Good | Film:  Perfect)

Film Review: Manborg

"I am man............Borg. My name is Manborg." - Matthew Kennedy

Imagine an awe-inspiring vision of an inferno descending onto Earth, with machines and demons decimating the last vestiges of mankind. Such an apocalypse brought to life on the big screen could be something brooding and chilling. It could be epic.

This is not that movie.

Manborg is a cheap, silly, ridiculous little film, and it knows it. It has action, certainly, and plenty of gnarly bloodshed and gratuitous special effects. However, the delivery of the action, dialogue, and the overall story is so over-the-top, so silly, and so cheesy that it's hilarious. Most of the characters here sound like they came from a Mortal Kombat video game, thanks to the overdubbed dialogue. One character even tries to fight MK style. One lady fights like she came straight out of an anime, complete with cheap sound effects and streaky lines behind her. Most other special effects look like they came from the original Doom PC game, because they are that cheap. The film is short and pretty fast, but more importantly, it made me laugh pretty often.

The story for this is not an inherently bad idea: I kinda do wish somebody in Hollywood would make a big-scale apocalypse story like this, with the actual forces of Hell being unleashed on the planet (they totally blew it when they adapted Doom). If this same movie was handled with a big budget, big stars, and a distinguished director, it probably would have been awesome. If this movie was a video game instead, it would have been awesome as well. But as it is, the film plays things well within its limitations, keeping things purposefully small-scale and cheap, and simultaneously silly. There are scenes that reminded me a lot of other movies or games - The Terminator, Doom, Quake, Wolfenstein, The Running Man, Fist of the North Star, and other stuff all came to mind. The film overall is a throwback to grungy sci-fi films of the 80s.  Regardless, the film is pretty fun, even if it lacks depth or originality.

This film is very cheaply shot and edited, with gaudy and weird special effects that looked like they came from the stone age. Acting is very silly and over-the-top, and with dubbed dialogue, it's rendered even more hilarious. Writing is very silly. This production uses some very cheap sets, props, and costumes. The music score tries so hard to be cool.

 If you're looking for something awesomely cheesy and funny, this film will satisfy.

2.5/5 (Entertainment: Good | Story: Marginal | Film: Awful)

Travel: Driving Along the I-15 Through the Mojave

One of the conditions of my relocation to Utah was that I'd have to eventually pick up my personal vehicle from the port.  The nearest port is...Los Angeles, some 670 miles south-west of where I actually am.  I considered saving myself the trouble, if I were to hire a car carrier or something to bring the car to me; the problem is, I would have needed a power of attorney, and ain't nobody got time for that! More importantly, if I picked up the thing myself with the paperwork in my possession, then I could verify that the car came undamaged.

It was still a troubling thing, considering the sheer distance and time involved.  It would take about ten hours to drive back home.  In all that time, I felt that anything could happen.  Accidents could happen.  Highway robberies could happen.  Alien abductions could happen (...you can't prove otherwise!).  My biggest fear, however, was the car itself:  it has been more than five years since the poor thing drove on an actual highway and driven more than 60 MPH.  It had been five years since it had high-grade fuel put into it (it's not that it can't be found, so much as it was too expensive).  And with all the mud, moisture, curves, bends, and hills England had to offer, it can take a tremendous toll on a vehicle:  I had already replaced tires and brakes twice in that time.  I was certain that the car had some kind of grunge in it somewhere, or something was bound to rust off.  Just before departing, the tailpipe actually did bust loose, wobbling around precariously and making a ton of noise.  The mechanics there said that the entire exhaust would have to be replaced, and the bracket holding it would have to be re-welded.  And it all had to be done here in the US, where American car parts could be acquired with greater ease.  In spite of all that, I was concerned that the car wouldn't make the 670-mile journey.

Just to be sure, I packed whatever useful tools I had and brought them with me:  a hammer, an adjustable wrench, a bunch of duct tape, Gorilla glue, a screwdriver, pliers, and I forget what else.  Other than that, I packed very light, taking just a change of clothes, my toiletries, a sleeping bag, and all the documents I would need.  I woke up extremely early and took the earliest flight I could to LAX.  Then, after a brief and quiet taxi ride to the Vehicle Processing Center, I signed for my car and was able to drive away scott free.  It was a very short and easy affair so far.

The car generally looked better than I remember, especially since the folks at the VPC were nice enough to clean the vehicle.  Driving along, however, I was immediately alarmed by the grungy noises of the muffler wagging around, and the brakes felt rusty.  The unease persisted for the next few blocks, as I scouted across the streets of Compton, LA, to find a gas station.  Fortunately, I found a small Shell station, where I fueled the car up with good high-octane fuel, and I took the time to secure the tail pipe better.  Using a wire coat hanger I brought with me, I wrapped the thing tightly around the car's chassis, and ensured that it was stable and solid.  I bought a whole bunch of water from the little store, and promptly left.  The ride felt smoother and quieter, thankfully.

My first prerogative was to escape from LA, literally.  I'm sure the city has its glamorous and beautiful parts; it's easy to romanticize about such things as Beverly Hills, the beaches, the big Hollywood sign, and everything else.  Chances are that if I drove into the downtown area or in those actual high-class districts, I would have seen such sights.  I was in no mood for sight-seeing, however.  On this trip, I was more concerned with getting back home and back to work as quickly as possible.  Maybe I'll explore this city some other time, but I was in no hurry to do so.  As it is, what I saw from Compton and the sprawl of highways was not particularly flattering:  LA looked pretty scuzzy at certain parts, and has some really hectic traffic.

I took a few different highways to reach the Interstate 15, which would ultimately take me all the way home.  I had always heard that LA traffic can be a nightmare, and I envisioned a hot, smoggy, gridlocked hell.  Thankfully, it looked as though the biggest congestion was south-bound, and possibly west-bound.  Going north-east, traffic was moving, even if it was dense and crowded.  It just seemed to go on and on though:  the city is so huge, it must have taken an hour to actually reach the I-15.

Having successfully escaped from LA, I had to take a break already.  Most of it was a need to set up my music to help keep me awake and sane for the rest of the trip (and the car's radio never really worked right since the antenna snapped off some time ago...another issue I needed to address).  I also wanted to have lunch, drink coffee, and wake myself up some more.  Around the area of Hesperia, I stopped at a Chevron station, and happened across a place called the Summit Inn.  It was a pretty quaint little restaurant, arranged as a cafe or diner, with all kinds of old-fashioned paraphernalia ordaining the walls and windows of the place.  Outside, there were old, run-down wagons and tractors, which were quite interesting.  Inside, the cafe had metal signs of all kinds, including signs for movies, the Interstate, beer, and other great things.  One red neon sign showed the outline of a motorcyclist.  The place had a counter that wrapped around the middle of the area, with stools all around it; on the counter, there were those old coin-operated fortune telling machines at intervals, and there was a basket with ostrich eggs for sale (those suckers are the size of melons).  This place had a certain retro charm to it, but without feeling overdone or anything (not like Johnny Rocket's, which is full-blown 1950s nostalgia).  It was also clean enough.  I think I always fancied walking into a place like this, for it felt so very American.  Thus, I settled into a stool, had some coffee, and ate a massive steak sandwich.  I rather enjoyed it.

Having such a hearty, potentially fattening meal, was probably a mistake, because such foods have a tendency to suck all the energy out of you.  For the next while, I was effectively zombified, as I drove north on the I-15 for miles and miles on end.  Traveling across the Mojave, I was stricken as to how flat, barren, and expansive the desert is.  It must be the most amount of nothing I've ever seen.  Entire miles of emptiness would pass by, hour after hour.  There were few mountains that passed by; they would first appear as a mound in the distance, and gradually pass by as bland brown hills.

I don't even know at what point I crossed into Nevada, but when I did, I geeked out.  Approaching Primm, I was astonished to see that it was everything I recall seeing in the video game, Fallout:  New Vegas.  The game very accurately replicated the town's approximate look and geography, and even included the roller coaster ride.  One thing the game didn't get right was the sheer distance between everything in Nevada:  you could traverse across the game's map in a matter of hours just walking.  It was still fifty miles or so to reach the half way point at Las Vegas.

When I finally sighted Vegas, it was far more exotic than I imagined.  I think I always expected something tackier and gaudier, but the place is really a pretty tall and distinguished-looking city.  In the distance, it was veiled by the dust:  a strong gust of hot wind was blasting through all of the Mojave.  It didn't occur to me at the time, but this must have been the Santa Ana winds.  I probably should have stopped in Vegas for pictures at the least, or to stay the night and check the place out.  At the time, however, I was still pretty wide awake and willing to press forward.  The I-15 passes directly through the middle of the city, so I continued down it.  Then, all of the suddenly, there was massive congestion.  It got rather frustrating between all the stop-and-go traffic, and focusing on what lane goes where.  I assumed this was a normal rush hour ordeal, but I later learned that there was a suspicious device found along the US 95, and the authorities had to close the road while they investigated it.  Fortunately, the bomb squad determined that it was no anything to worry about.  Unfortunately, the traffic got in my way.

After clearing Vegas, I continued on, and traffic thinned out, to my relief.  I passed Sloan, and once again, I was reminded of Fallout:  NV.  The game did a smashing job of replicating the quarry that was there.  Fortunately, no Deathclaws attacked the car while I drove past.

More empty wastes passed by uneventfully, until I crossed into Arizona.  The I-15 just passes through the corner of the state, but the pass offers a brief and lovely glimpse of the Mesquite desert.  The highway weaves around gargantuan mounds and peaks of giant red and brown stone.  There was a rest stop on the other side of the mounds, where I stopped for a few pictures.  The place looked desolate at first, with the flat, empty, rugged landscape.  There is vegetation all around though, in the form of brush and cacti.  The hills are colored in remarkable ways, given the red stone, and the splotches of yellow and green, painted all over the brown hills.  I was rather impressed by the colors and patterns exhibited in the Mesquite area.  However, it is extremely hot there, and with the strong winds continuing to blast through the area, it felt like I stood in the middle of an oven.

Driving onward, I eventually left Arizona and finally reached Utah.  Southern Utah looks pretty desolate at first, but it gradually grew more and more lush and green.  Before long, there were long stretches of vibrant prairies and huge green hills rolling by.

If I was more ambitious, I would have continued on home from there.  It was late, and it would have been the late evening by the time I reached home.  By eight o'clock, however, time was wearing on for far too long, and I grew too tiresome of counting the miles and the minutes remaining.  My eyes were struggling to stay awake, and they presented a potential safety hazard.  Stopping at a rest stop near a place called Beaver, I stayed at the Comfort Inn for the night, and received a good night's rest.

The next morning, I would continue home after a brief and satisfying two-hour drive.  It's pretty nice to break things up that way.  More importantly, it left the afternoon open for the mechanic to check over the car and fix the exhaust.  I was very grateful that the car lasted as long as it did without any major problems; the garage fixed it up and gave it a clean bill of health.

This drive has been long and uneventful, but even a drive as monotonous as this offered a few interesting sights and encounters.  This being my first really long road trip in the US, I was pretty happy with the quality of the roads and the availability of gas and food all along the way.  Traffic was generally smooth, save for the crowded condition of LA and the brief jam in Vegas.  I do have my gripes, however.  Why is it that drivers can't use a bloody blinker when they merge or turn? Is it that hard to flip the lever down? Come on! And why is it that every time I signal and want to merge, somebody speeds up, closes a gap, and cuts me off? Well thanks for nothing!

Chances are good that I'll have to hit the road again, either for work, or for visiting some of the sights that I passed and didn't bother visiting.  I'm still not sure if I'm all that thrilled about visiting Vegas and LA; I'm sure they're cool cities and all, but cities were never my forte.  I'll certainly have to take the time to visit the many state parks all over this state and other states, and if the inner geek prevails, I may have to try and seek out Roswell someday.  Now that I got my car back and I made the epic journey back home, I'm free to go anywhere.

Film Review: Fast & Furious 6 (aka Furious 6)

"This is vehicular warfare." - Ludacris

I don't think many other franchises has been as turbulent and uneven as The Fast and the Furious films. Things started off pretty earnestly with Rob Cohen's first film, but quickly careened into odd directions, with the ever-cheesy 2 Fast 2 Furious taking off and running with one main character while leaving the other in the dust, and with Tokyo Drift drifting away with totally different characters altogether. Thankfully, Fast & Furious realigned the series with its roots. But it wasn't until Fast Five when I really began to give a darn about this series. Granted that all films have had their fun moments, the fifth film magically tied in every single strand from every single film, and made every single character relevant. Best of all, it did so with a great sense of fun: it had great pacing, amusing comedy, great action, and it made the characters stand out as a collectively outstanding cast.

So now Fast & Furious 6 has come out, reuniting the entire gang once more to take on bigger stakes. The spectacle in this film tries its best to be even bigger, more absurd, and more awesome than before: the film is effectively book-ended with two massive action setpieces. The first involves a decently destructive car chase in London, where the villain effectively uses his custom-built ride to launch other cars all over the place. The film's final act features a really crazy sequence in which a tank roars across a highway, crushing other cars and blowing up bridges. This all culminates with all the muscle cars banding together to bring down a massive cargo plane in a fiery blaze of glory. In between, the film slows down a bit, but there's frequent fist-fights and pursuits, a few scenes of witty comedy, and there's one decent car-racing scene.

Whether or not you really dig this film may depend on how well you dig the characters and all their dynamics. It definitely helps to watch and understand the events of the first five films, because at this point, they've all been through so much and changed so much; for a late-comer like me, who never was invested in the characters until the last film, it can be confusing to remember who was who and what their history was. Fortunately, the film does insert some flashbacks and reminders for the audience's benefit. If you are keeping up with things, then the film will reward you with a cast of endearing and heartfelt characters, and the film's plot generally revolves around their continuing struggles. As far as the actual plot goes, it's pretty brainless and absurd action-movie fodder, and there are plot holes to be found. However, the film does have the merit of presenting a cast of villains to directly oppose the cast of heroes, and the story pulls out a few surprising twists.

The film generally looks good, but many of the action scenes are hectically shot and edited, and it can be hard to tell what's going on in certain scenes. What you can see is awesome, but sometimes, it's just aggravating. Acting is generally fun and enjoyable from the whole cast. Writing gets the job done well enough. This production uses a plethora of quality sets, props, and costumes, with loads of flashy cars at its disposal, and some okay-looking special effects. This film uses some cool and hip rap and techno music, while the music score is pretty cool (sounds a lot like Brian Tyler's work from Tokyo Drift, which was one of my favorite soundtracks).

Best recommended to fans of the series, especially if you've been following the last few movies.

4/5 (Entertainment: Good | Story: Pretty Good | Film: Pretty Good)

Film Review: The Adventures of Tintin

"You hit a wall, you push through it." - Andy Serkis

I've never read the original Tintin comics, but even I can recognize that charming cartoon character with the big round head, the small tuft of blonde hair, and the cute white dog at his side.  It has been decades since the character's genesis, but even today, he proves to be just as endearing as ever, thanks to this 2011 computer-animated film.

The Adventures of Tintin offers a heck of an adventure, with loads of eye candy for audiences of all ages.  Most of the film is comprised of action setpieces that are really inventive and involved; it's almost like a vaudeville act, with characters tumbling, falling, flying, and colliding with each other, resulting in even more crazy damage, more problematic situations, and sometimes inducing some decent laughter.  One of the film's most awe-inspiring scenes is a continuous shot, lasting for what must be a full five minutes or so, with the camera tracking Tintin and the Captain riding through a town, chasing animals, with buildings getting wrecked all around them.  The timing and choreography of each scene is so precise, it's brilliantly entertaining.  The film suffers very little drag in between, and there's always enough elements of danger and peril to keep the stakes high.  At the same time, it's never too high or scary for younger audiences.  If there's anything to complain about, it's just that it's almost too much.  Many scenes strain believability, and can become very absurd.

In spite of the relentless action, however, the film's story is left with limited room to breathe.  It jumps right into the mystery and adventure, without any introduction to the characters or the world they inhabit.  It isn't hard to catch onto things as the film goes along, but there's no real background to Tintin, and it makes him flat and rather less interesting.  It's the mystery element that drives this plot, but even then, the mystery is quite predictable and thinly developed.  Really, the movie is built on the action, with one scene leading to another; it's serviceable and fun, but nothing terribly deep or compelling.

This film has top-notch animation quality.  The amount of detail, precision, and movement is phenomenal; there are moments that look so real, it's amazing.  This film has decent voice-acting; it can be a bit tiresome to listen to Andy Serkis as Captain Haddock, but Jamie Bell, Daniel Craig, Nick Frost, Simon Pegg, and everybody else provides quality performances.  Writing is not bad, and it generally gets the job done, but some more depth would have been welcome.  This production uses some very awesome-looking settings, locations, props, costumes, and character designs.  John Williams' music score is not bad.

This film definitely entertains with its imaginative adventure sequences, and it comes close to replicating the same kind of energy and tone as a typical Indiana Jones picture.  It is a film that audiences of all ages can enjoy, even if the story is a bit lacking.  Recommended.

4/5 (Entertainment:  Very Good | Story:  Average | Film:  Perfect)