October 27, 2014

Film: Great Ghostbusters Lines You Can Say In Real Life!

The Ghostbusters films are chock full of awesome and hilarious lines, and most of them are easily recognizable in pop culture, you're bound to illicit good laughter among your friends or random strangers. The cast of Ghostbusters deliver so many lines, even in passing, with such personality and nuance that they come off as ingenious, witty, and smart, without ever seeming too snarky or over-the-top. I've often used Ghostbusters dialogue in real life, so here are the lines I see as being the most relevant.  Why not give them a try in real life, see how other people react?

WARNING:  Mild curse words below.



40.) "Oh come on, there's always room for Jell-O."  Probably best said while eating actual Jell-O, but Peter says this line in response to Winston's distaste for it.  If you know somebody who also hates Jell-O, you can always come back with this promotional slogan, in Peter's ever-sarcastic voice, and it could be amusing.

39.) "What did you do Ray?" Peter says this with such sharp scorn, it's as if he's scolding a child or something. If you're in a situation where somebody's messed up, this line could be uttered with such sardonic sharpness, especially if the guilty party is responsible for something ridiculously bad. Bonus points if the offending party is truly named Ray.

38.) "Go get her, Ray!" Peter barks this out as if Ray is an attack dog. And sure enough, Ray advances forward and delivers a deadpan speech to Gozer. He got her alright. So if you need something done, you could always bark this line out at somebody and see how they proceed. Bonus points if the guy you're talking to really is named Ray, and if you use other variants of the line (like "Get her!" or "'Get her!' Was that your whole plan?").

37.) "Is the atomic weight of Cobalt 58.9?"  Egon's way of asking if a bear defecates in the woods.  And he says like we're all supposed to know what the atomic weight of Cobalt is.  It's the sign of a true nerd.

36.) "Human sacrifices, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!" Easily the most recognizable ranting and raving of all time, because it's a really ridiculous line after hearing about how seas will boil and the world will come to an end.  Dogs and cats, man.  That's pretty serious.  So whenever bad news is being delivered and somebody just lists off all the terrible things that will happen, make sure to throw this line in there to emphasize how terrible things really are.

35.) "I couldn't help it. It just popped in there!" Ray's feeble response to why he summoned the Destructor. So, if you mess something up, you could use this line to explain in your own wimpy way why things went wrong. Bonus points if somebody follows this up with line #39.

34.) "Why am I drippings with goo?" A truly disturbing question after waking up and finding yourself covered in slime.  This line would be perfectly relevant if you're covered in something funky and you have to make your predicament known (although line #10 might be an even better fit, depending on the situation).

33.) "Who does your taxes?" In his conscious state, this is the first thing Louis says when meeting a Ghostbuster.  So, next time you're introduced to somebody, be sure to immediately blurt out this line.  You might just find a new client (regardless of whether or not you really deal with taxes as a profession; it just sounds funny when it's completely random).

32.) "Everybody can relax. I found the car." Ray says this as if we were all worried, even though nobody was. But if you are in a situation where you have to get the car and present it for transportation, this line would be perfectly relevant, especially when nobody really cares. Bonus points for listing off everything that's wrong with the said car.

31.) "The superintendent's going to be pissed!" Yeah, because even after the whole city gets thrown into peril, the superintendent's reaction is what you worry about the most.  This line would be notably relevant whenever anything bad happens, especially to a piece of property.

30.) "There is no Dana, only Zuul." Best said when something, or somebody, isn't what or who you thought it was.  Bonus points if the name of the person being referenced really is Dana.

29.) "You're right. No human being would stack book this way..." See a tall stack of books? Then it must be just like the Philadelphia mass turbulence of 1947. This observation should be made known to all surrounding parties to let them know that stacked books must be paranormal in nature (even if it isn't).

28.) "Somebody blows their nose and you want to keep it?" Peter says this sardonically in passing, before collecting ectoplasm. If you need to collect a sample of something, you can make your disgust known through this same sarcastic line.

27.) "Nice shootin' Tex!" Best said when somebody's a little too trigger-happy and causing mass destruction.

26.) "Yes, have some." Best said in response to a question, even if the "have some" part makes no sense whatsoever. Bonus points for saying the line immediately after "do I?" and after somebody else says "yes, have some."

25.) "Yeah, you, the bimbo with the baby."  This is how Peter get's Vigo's attention before provoking the hell out of him.  This ought to be an amusing way of addressing the people you're talking to and getting their attention.  Bonus points if the person you're calling really does have a baby in his hands.

24.) "...I'm fine." So says Peter after being blown on his back by Vigo.  It doesn't matter how you really feel, just shrug it off and say "I'm fine" in a cheery tone.  Why not, it lightens the mood.  Bonus points if everybody else around you feels terrible and can't move.

23.) "It's Miller time." Well, credit for this line probably goes to the original beer commercial first, but Peter announces it in a moment of a minor victory.  Any time you accomplish something modest, this playful line could become the harbinger of a lively celebration.

22.) "That's great!" Ray says this after Peter gets slimed, and he says it so enthusiastically like it's something to celebrate. So whenever something bad happens to somebody - they get slimed, they see a ghost, something - be sure to shout out this line with enthusiasm. Bonus points if you follow this up with "actual physical contact!"

21.) "The flowers are still standing!" Peter says this while trying to pull a tablecloth off. He probably never intended for any of the dishes to remain still, and sure enough, they all break. But hey, the flowers are still standing! Maybe you're pulling this same trick, or doing something else delicate, this line will make your apparent victory known, even if half of everything gets smashed.

20.) "You don't know what it's like out there. I've worked in the private sector. They expect results!" Ray says this to Peter when their academic careers become endangered. I've known people in the public sector who found this line most helpful in underscoring one key difference between the private and public sectors, thus insinuating that government and educational services don't truly expect results. So if you're in the public sector too, this line is perfectly relevant when discussing milestones, goals, and careers.

19.) "Oh, hello miss." A very quick and brief line you can barely hear when Peter's toying around with the microphone in the Statue of Liberty.  What's really amusing is that he says this to Egon.  In my experience, however, I've learned that ladies prefer to be called "miss" instead of "missus," because the former makes her sound younger and more flattering.  So, I've taken to calling everybody "miss," just because.  However, you ought to get bonus points for greeting a random man this way.  Hope the encounter goes well...

18.) "Listen! ...you smell that?" Ray says this with a serious face, but then I'm confused, am I listening or smelling? Or am I supposed to smell with my ears? Or listen with my nose? This self-contradictory line lends itself to easy mockery, and can be utilized anytime you hear or smell something you need to draw attention to.

17.) "We had part of a slinky, but I straightened it." Talking about toys at all? Make your nerdiness known by how you brutally mutilated a slinky in the name of science!

16.) "I gotta have a shower." Louis says this in a very nonchalant manner in the hallway, effectively announcing it to the world as if we care. And you know what, you can do the same. Let everybody know you gotta have a shower.

15.) "Okay...so...she's a dog." When something really weird happens, just go with the flow and accept it, just like Peter did.  Girlfriend turned into a dog? That's okay.  Accept it.

14.) "The light is green, trap is clean." I say this often, because there are green lights everywhere. Traffic lights, lights on phones, lights on computers, and I don't remember what else. Green means good, and having a clean trap is good, so the correlation is clear in my mind.

13.) "You know, I'm a voter! Aren't you supposed to lie to me and kiss my butt?"  Best said after being brushed off by a politician.

12.) "Where do you think all this is coming from? The sky?!!" More of Peter's hilarious ranting and raving, while trying to pass off as a  worker of a gas company.  So if you need to cover your hide and explain away why you're dealing with some kind of mess, you can drive your point home with this over-the-top dialogue.  Bonus points if you really are digging a hole in the middle of the street.

11.) "Yeah...we can cause more damage that way." Any time anybody has a plan, you can follow up with this line to indicate that the plan is solid and there's absolutely no margin of error.

10.) "I feel so funky." Because when you're coated in slime, it's true. Anytime you feel the funk, this line will make your discomfort known.

9.) "Can't you stop your lips flapping for two little minutes?" Pretty much used in lieu of "shut up." However, saying Peter's line here is way more sarcastic and playful, but without losing the essence of the message.  Bonus points if you really do only have two minutes to talk.

8.) "Mother puss bucket..." A viable alternative to any curse involving the word "Mother." It's family-friendly, but we still know what you really mean...

7.) "Everything you're doing is bad.  I want you to know this." Janosz says this very calmly and matter-of-factually in passing to some random artists in his gallery.  This line might make you sound like a total snob and jerk, but if you are a supervisor, it's totally relevant.  Bonus points for muttering this afterward:  "Nobody listens to me..."

6.) "What are we doing today, Zuul?" When you got to know what's going on today, use Peter's passing sarcasm in this line to illicit a full plan of what Zuul (or whoever is in the room) expects from you.

5.) "Back off man...I'm a scientist." It doesn't matter what random question or claim you're making, if you're a scientist, you're perfectly qualified to say whatever the hell you want.

4.) "I collect spores, molds, and fungus." A real conversation-starter, or conversation-ender. Egon says this line, almost in irritation to Janine's chatting, but knowing Egon he was probably telling the truth. Nobody really expects a normal person to collect these things, so when listing your hobbies, this is a rather unique and witty response.

3.) "We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!" A true claim of victory. Shout it out to the world every time you accomplish something major in life (although beating video game bosses might be the most relevant).

2.) "When someone asks you if you're a god, you say 'YES'!" Because, you know, people ask if you're a god all the time. Don't fool around man, if your godhood is challenged, just go with it and instill the fear by saying "yes!" And if anybody doesn't follow this rule, make your displeasure known with Winston's line.

1.) "Yes it's true...this man has no dick..." Probably the best comeback for a jerk who's blaming you for something, and somebody asks if their claim is true. The line makes the best sense when somebody calls the offending party "dickless," but when conflict inevitably erupts, you can always brush it off by shouting out "Well that's what I heard!" This is a line that takes some serious guts to use, but when used properly, it may be the best movie line you can say in real life (assuming it doesn't get you in serious trouble).

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