Book Review: Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)

Catch-22.  Noun.  A singular term signifying a paradoxical situation that one cannot escape from.  Pretty much the same as "damned if you do and damned if you don't." Catch-22 is also a very bizarre war novel by war veteran Joseph Heller, in which he therapeutically channeled all his experiences and turned it into poignant satire.

To be fair, Catch-22 is quite the funny book at times.  It is loaded with kooky characters, who often speak in funny circles and engage in some totally random shenanigans.  The humor, especially in the form of circular logic, becomes a common thread that weaves through the whole book.  Eventually, it builds up to a rather darker, bleaker portrayal of madness in the time of war.  It doesn't get more bittersweet than this.

Despite its strengths, I personally found the book to be a bit of a chore.  In between the sharp dialogue and humor, there are pages and pages of prose that drone on.  What bothers me the most is that the plot offers little forward momentum - entire chapters go on where little actually seems to happen and characters don't really say anything of relevance.  The matter is further exacerbated by the mixed-up narrative and the way it goes back and forth through time.  After the first few chapters, I felt the book became tiresome, and were it not for providing a more grounded viewpoint through the protagonist, I probably wouldn't have cared for anything that happened.

Joseph Heller's writing can be quite wordy and meaty, but it is pretty easy to digest.  Dialogue shows a lot of character.  Characters are quite uniquely described and detailed (who wouldn't love people like Major Major or Col. Scheisskopf?).  What stands out the best will be the quirky way words are manipulated circularly and paradoxically to coincide with the central concept behind the book's title - it can be rather ingenious.

This book is worth reading for its notoriety alone - it is considered one of the great modern classics, and there is value in the humor and the terror the book portrays.  I just wish it could have been trimmer, more to-the-point, have more to the plot.

3/5

 

Film Review: Tomorrowland

I expected this movie to suck. Most reviews I see have written this off as just another fluff piece with too much CGI, too little story, and a message that seems to make everyone sick. Given all the negativity, I got the impression that I'm not supposed to enjoy this.

And yet, I found myself captivated by the film, and I became enamored by the escapist experience.

You could write this off as just another advert for a Disney theme park. The film definitely strives to wow the audience with fantastic visions of futuristic cities, rockets, jetpacks, flying cars, robots, laser guns, and more. In between all this utopian scenery, the film maintains its pace by constantly putting the characters in peril, forcing them to run from one dangerous situation to another. Action scenes are pretty frequent, and include such cool things as laser-gun firefights and robots with martial arts, all of which are captured in very solid and steady photography. In between the action, the film maintains a light and colorful tone, with plenty of snappy dialogue and humor.

The story is brimming with adventure, the likes of which would be on-par with The Neverending Story or Last Action Hero, or something along those lines. It plays into the standard scenario of a kid finding out that there's another world, and sets out to find it. The actual plot doesn't have a whole lot of dots to connect; much of the runtime is devoted to the characters leaping from one peril to another, to the point where it becomes one thing after another. There are a few parts that are unbelievable, and there may be some plot holes, but given the fantastic nature of the story, the creditability of various scenes seems to defeat the point of the picture. As far as characters go, I grew to love them; the main character is a perfectly lovable kid with passion that drives the plot, and it provides an apt reflection on the other characters, who in turn have their own motivations that make them compelling.

Plotting is not so much the highlight of the film, as it is the ideas. Tomorrowland offers a pretty fun sci-fi scenario in which the world's greatest and brightest built a utopian paradise of innovation, hidden from the rest of the world. As the characters work to find their way there, an even greater theme emerges, and all of the film's conflict becomes hinged on pessimism versus optimism. The film asserts that our world is so full of doom and gloom, and our future could become a self-fulfilling prophecy of disaster if we let it. Naturally, the characters' struggle sides with optimism, to the point where it seeps out of the picture and becomes infectious. The theme resonates with me personally, because I am a firm believer in what the film says - that the future is what you make of it. In the end, I personally found the film's message inspiring, and moving in its own way. Walt Disney himself originally built Tomorrowland into his theme parks with the motive to foster inspiration, imagination, and invention.  That same spirit permeates through the Tomorrowland picture; many folks find it distasteful, probably because the film wears its heart on its sleeve all too well.  I realized that this is something you won't find in any other movie this year; for once, this is a movie that made me smile, and left me feeling hopeful.  Movies don't usually set out to paint a pretty picture or tell the audience that you can make things happen through your actions; this one does, and I personally find it refreshing, inspiring, and moving.

This film has good-looking photography and editing. Acting is good for what it is: Britt Robertson is perfectly colorful and fun in her role, George Clooney plays it pretty grumpy most of the time for decent effect, and Hugh Laurie is awesome. Writing probably could have been a little sharper, but I appreciated most of the dialogue. This production spares no expense on the sets, props, costumes, and special effects. Sound design is great. Music is alright.

A lot of people won't be so easily charmed by this film, maybe finding it sappy, messy, or stupid. I think this attitude only proves the film's point; if you feed the negativity, you will hate the film. If all you see is shallow CGI, then you won't care about anything the film has to say. If you can approach this optimistically and become swept away in this adventure, then maybe the film will speak to you the most. As such, I can only recommend it as a rental to those interested. I think it's a perfectly good family film, and its message is far more inspiring than anything a Marvel film or a Michael Bay film can provide.

4/5 (Experience: Good | Content: Good | Film: Good)

Film Review: Guardians of the Galaxy (Revisited)

"Why would you want to save the galaxy?"

"Because I'm one of the idiots who lives in it!" - Bradley Cooper and Chris Pratt
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Back when Marvel kicked in Phase 1 of its cinematic universe, we all knew who Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Thor, and Captain America were. All these films were destined to be hits to some degree. But...the Guardians of the Galaxy? Who are these a-holes? If you're like me and never read comics, you may be asking the same question. Seriously, a gun-totting raccoon? A walking tree? David Bautista? WTF?

If box office numbers are any indication, the risk paid off tremendously. The film wastes little time in plunging the audience into the deep end of the most outlandish and far-out reaches of the Marvel universe. From the desolate ruins of an abandoned planet to the thriving heart of an interstellar civilization, this space-faring adventure cuts across colorful nebulae and imaginative worlds, the likes of which have only ever been topped by the Star Wars universe. The film has no shortage of action, as characters fight with their fists, knives, and futuristic guns against an onslaught of bad guys. There is a huge all-out battle in the end, with thousands of space ships filling up the screen. In between the exciting parts, the film moves fast and fluidly with plenty of spot-on comedy, and just enough drama to give the characters a little more depth.

The story covers pretty basic ground, using the same old type of Macguffin that Avengers and Thor: The Dark World used. The villain of this film is a pretty flat, one-dimensional fellow who's best remembered for his presence, and little more. What makes this film stand out will be the protagonists. Peter Quill (the self-proclaimed "Star-Lord") has charm, but thanks to the film's opening scene, he provides an emotional anchor we can all latch onto. Drax is a warrior driven by vengeance, but is so blunt that he can't comprehend metaphors, and hilarity ensues. Gamora is a fierce fighter as well with an allure of her own. Rocket is a hard-drinking gun-happy raccoon with attitude. Groot is a walking tree, who can kick some butt, but also provides some of the most lovable moments. This whole gang is very much in the same vein of space outlaws as in Firefly or The Cowboy Bebop; each character provides enough emotional investment and attention so that they stand out and become heroes we can root for, no matter how bizarre or unlikely this union seems. The film is also loaded with a plethora of side characters, who all stand out in their own ways, to the point where I wished they could have had more to them (especially Thanos, who's obviously going to be a major player somewhere down the line; Nebula, who I thought was cooler than anything; the Collector, who's not given that much to do here; and Yondu, who clearly shares a history with Quill, but it's hard to tell where his loyalty is). Through the character interactions, the whole team emerges as a dysfunctional crew that stands up to tyranny in their own rebellious way, and their evolution from bickering individuals to literal Guardians of the Galaxy is quite the fun trip.

This film is crafted with solid and precise photography and editing. Acting is top-notch; you'd probably never expect much from this cast, but everybody does their best to make the characters stand out. Chris Pratt is not too shabby as the main hero; I enjoyed watching Zoe Saldana; Dave Bautista's performance is surprisingly solid; voices by Bradley Cooper and Vin Diesel get the job done well. Everybody else contributes admirably. Writing is pretty good. This production spares no expense on the outlandish and imaginative sets, props, costumes, and special effects. Music is decent.

Guardians of the Galaxy is one of the most well-rounded blockbusters since Marvel's own Avengers. It balances action, comedy, and storytelling very well. It defies all the odds and presents this obscure group of misfits as a thrilling new franchise for the masses..

5/5 (Entertainment: Perfect | Content: Very Good | Film: Very Good)

Film Review: Kingsman: The Secret Service

"There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self." - Ernest Hemingway
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British spies are so cool. They always dress sharp. They act like perfect gentlemen. Every little thing on their persons is some kind of hidden weapon or device. They always defeat the henchmen, save the world from megalomaniac supervillains, and get the girl in the end. With Kingsman, Matthew Vaughn uses the standard British spy movie schtick to distill all the best elements of his previous films: a little bit of the training scenes from X-Men: First Class, a large portion of the ultraviolence and attitude from Kick-Ass, maybe a drop of the hard-hitting drama from Layer Cake, and voila, we have a martini that's far more shaken than stirred.

Even though the film may seem derivative, it's still a total blast from beginning to end. The action is very stylish and incredible; the fight scenes are expertly-choreographed and filmed in a way that shoves it all in your face (in a manner that reminded me much of the way The Raid 2 was staged). As the film progresses, less and less is held back, and the film paints a colorfully brutal picture of the fantasy of being a British spy. A few scenes - the pub fight, the church scene, the fight with the main henchman, and a certain scene involving microchip implants - are incredible on their own and make the movie a must-see for anybody who can handle them.

I thought the story was good and well-told. It wastes little time in establishing a great cast of characters we can relate to and enjoy, going so far as weaving inspiring themes of what being a gentleman really means. The story strikes an excellent pace and it shows exactly everything it needs to for the plot to unfold and reach its incredible climax. It is a very dense and fulfilling tale.

The subtext, unfortunately, is where certain wires are crossed and it can leave some viewers feeling confused. This is a movie that often mocks the conventions of other spy movies (including the original James Bond series), but the film plays out in all the same conventions, making it feel rather hypocritical. Same goes for the violence; the film's shock value should make it appalling, but most of it could be seen as a glorification. Kick-Ass had these same issues as well, but the contrast between tone and content made it more successful at being darkly comedic. With Kingsman, the contrast is not as strong, and it's hard to tell what stance it's supposed to take on these issues.

The film looks sharp, with decent photography and very punchy editing. A few of the action scenes are pretty fast-cut and have some shakey cam, but this is a rare case where I felt the frenetic nature of the scenes worked to the film's advantage. Acting is swell; the whole cast is colorful and enjoyable to watch. There is a ton of unnecessary swearing, but otherwise the script is great. This production uses good-looking sets, props, and costumes. Special effects are sometimes good, sometimes so-so. The soundtrack is great too.

Kingsman is more outlandish than James Bond, gutsier than Jason Bourne, meaner than Jack Bauer. It's also colorful and nutty, a bit like 1998's Avengers, but far more successful at it. What makes it work is that it still has loads of style and action, but still tells a decent story. If you can handle the film's extremities, it's well worth the time.

4.5/5 (Entertainment: Perfect | Story: Good | Film: Very Good)

Film Review: Birdman (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)

Movies. They're so fake. So shallow and pointless. All style and no substance. Pretentious. And the people who make them...are they truly artists, or nothing more than a group of rich, snobby, spoiled hacks? In today's world of Michael Bay movies, viral videos, and reality TV, it would seem that the art of film, and the art of acting and performances, is often drowned out in pure pop-culture noise and trash.

These are a few of the main points made by Birdman, the humble story of an aging actor with a dream to become an accomplished actor on Broadway. After a career built entirely on a popular superhero, the man endures the ongoing struggle of his ego, with part of him wanting to fall back on his fame and fortune, and the other half wanting to strive for genuine artistic merit. Surrounded by various other characters at different ends of the spectrum, he's thrust into a downward spiral of madness.

As you can see, it's an interesting story with some meaty themes worth exploring. The experience of watching this story can be pretty rewarding; it maintains a darkly humorous tone throughout, with plenty of sharp dialogue. There are a few moments where the character's mental state induces weird scenes where he's flying like the titular Birdman. For the most part though, this is a straightforward dramedy that hinges entirely on the execution of its plot and characters. On those merits alone, I'd say it's an interesting and thought-provoking story worth seeing.

As far as the style goes, the cinematography is the film's most impressive asset. Much like Rope and Enter the Void, the vast majority of the film transits from scene to scene seamlessly, with hardly any cuts up until the end. It gives the film a very even flow, and it is especially smooth how the camera steadily tracks all the action and characters down narrow hallways and crowded streets, the way Kubrick's films often did. Acting is another great asset in this film. Every character in this film is somewhat unhinged; Michael Keaton, Edward Norton, Emma Stone, and every other actor is effectively perfect. The script is really sharp and poignant, although some dialogue can be rather raunchy. This production uses stylish and real-looking sets, props, and costumes. The few special effects used are neat. Music consists mostly of drums, and I loved it.

This is a good-looking film with an interesting story that's told really well. That in itself makes it worth seeing at least once.

4/5 (Experience: Pretty Good | Story: Good | Film: Perfect)

Film Review: Casino Royale (007) (1967)

Don't be fooled. This is not James Bond. Even with a plot that involves several James Bond imposters, the entire film is not Bond; it is a mere shadow of Bond. You might think that a Bond parody is a good idea, since it's been done before with the deadpan sincerity of Our Man Flint and the all-out wackiness of Austin Powers. By those standards, the effectiveness of the comedy in 1967's Casino Royale is...iffy.

The film is as colorful and goofy as they come. The whole thing reeks of 60s kitsch, complete with psychedelic colors and music. As a mockery of the Bond franchise, the film frequently divulges in emphasizing the sex appeal of the Bond character, often pitting him against an onslaught of various female spies. You can expect a few drug references, some innuendos, and some goofy action scenes. There are secret lairs, casinos, stupid technology and more.

As nice as it all sounds, the film is one hot mess. Partly because very little of it is actually funny. A few lines are funny, a few gags work, but most of the film comes off as obnoxious and lame. What really makes this film daft, unfortunately, is the story. There's a faint semblance to the original novel, but most of the film is slapped together with seemingly-random scenes that don't really congeal into any kind of a storyline. It feels like one long montage of random scenes (or possibly sketches). Even with the sheer star power, very few of the characters carry enough of a presence to stand out. The whole thing comes off as a silly, disjointed, irreverent experience.

This film is made with average photography and pretty wacky editing. Writing is pretty stupid and the acting is cheesy...which is not necessarily bad for this type of comedy, but it hardly helps either. This production uses some very colorful and gaudy-looking sets, props, and costumes. Music is very upbeat and jazzy, for better or for worse.

You'd have to be a real serious fan of 1960s camp to love this silly farce. For me, it's just goofiness without much real comedic weight, much like how Police Academy: Mission to Moscow was. If it's a good spy comedy you want, better stick with Austin Powers.

2/5 (Experience: Poor | Story: Awful | Film: Marginal)

Film: Great Ghostbusters Lines You Can Say In Real Life!

The Ghostbusters films are chock full of awesome and hilarious lines, and most of them are easily recognizable in pop culture, you're bound to illicit good laughter among your friends or random strangers. The cast of Ghostbusters deliver so many lines, even in passing, with such personality and nuance that they come off as ingenious, witty, and smart, without ever seeming too snarky or over-the-top. I've often used Ghostbusters dialogue in real life, so here are the lines I see as being the most relevant.  Why not give them a try in real life, see how other people react?

WARNING:  Mild curse words below.

40.) "Oh come on, there's always room for Jell-O."  Probably best said while eating actual Jell-O, but Peter says this line in response to Winston's distaste for it.  If you know somebody who also hates Jell-O, you can always come back with this promotional slogan, in Peter's ever-sarcastic voice, and it could be amusing.

39.) "What did you do Ray?" Peter says this with such sharp scorn, it's as if he's scolding a child or something. If you're in a situation where somebody's messed up, this line could be uttered with such sardonic sharpness, especially if the guilty party is responsible for something ridiculously bad. Bonus points if the offending party is truly named Ray.

38.) "Go get her, Ray!" Peter barks this out as if Ray is an attack dog. And sure enough, Ray advances forward and delivers a deadpan speech to Gozer. He got her alright. So if you need something done, you could always bark this line out at somebody and see how they proceed. Bonus points if the guy you're talking to really is named Ray, and if you use other variants of the line (like "Get her!" or "'Get her!' Was that your whole plan?").

37.) "Is the atomic weight of Cobalt 58.9?"  Egon's way of asking if a bear defecates in the woods.  And he says like we're all supposed to know what the atomic weight of Cobalt is.  It's the sign of a true nerd.

36.) "Human sacrifices, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!" Easily the most recognizable ranting and raving of all time, because it's a really ridiculous line after hearing about how seas will boil and the world will come to an end.  Dogs and cats, man.  That's pretty serious.  So whenever bad news is being delivered and somebody just lists off all the terrible things that will happen, make sure to throw this line in there to emphasize how terrible things really are.

35.) "I couldn't help it. It just popped in there!" Ray's feeble response to why he summoned the Destructor. So, if you mess something up, you could use this line to explain in your own wimpy way why things went wrong. Bonus points if somebody follows this up with line #39.

34.) "Why am I drippings with goo?" A truly disturbing question after waking up and finding yourself covered in slime.  This line would be perfectly relevant if you're covered in something funky and you have to make your predicament known (although line #10 might be an even better fit, depending on the situation).

33.) "Who does your taxes?" In his conscious state, this is the first thing Louis says when meeting a Ghostbuster.  So, next time you're introduced to somebody, be sure to immediately blurt out this line.  You might just find a new client (regardless of whether or not you really deal with taxes as a profession; it just sounds funny when it's completely random).

32.) "Everybody can relax. I found the car." Ray says this as if we were all worried, even though nobody was. But if you are in a situation where you have to get the car and present it for transportation, this line would be perfectly relevant, especially when nobody really cares. Bonus points for listing off everything that's wrong with the said car.

31.) "The superintendent's going to be pissed!" Yeah, because even after the whole city gets thrown into peril, the superintendent's reaction is what you worry about the most.  This line would be notably relevant whenever anything bad happens, especially to a piece of property.

30.) "There is no Dana, only Zuul." Best said when something, or somebody, isn't what or who you thought it was.  Bonus points if the name of the person being referenced really is Dana.

29.) "You're right. No human being would stack book this way..." See a tall stack of books? Then it must be just like the Philadelphia mass turbulence of 1947. This observation should be made known to all surrounding parties to let them know that stacked books must be paranormal in nature (even if it isn't).

28.) "Somebody blows their nose and you want to keep it?" Peter says this sardonically in passing, before collecting ectoplasm. If you need to collect a sample of something, you can make your disgust known through this same sarcastic line.

27.) "Nice shootin' Tex!" Best said when somebody's a little too trigger-happy and causing mass destruction.

26.) "Yes, have some." Best said in response to a question, even if the "have some" part makes no sense whatsoever. Bonus points for saying the line immediately after "do I?" and after somebody else says "yes, have some."

25.) "Yeah, you, the bimbo with the baby."  This is how Peter get's Vigo's attention before provoking the hell out of him.  This ought to be an amusing way of addressing the people you're talking to and getting their attention.  Bonus points if the person you're calling really does have a baby in his hands.

24.) "...I'm fine." So says Peter after being blown on his back by Vigo.  It doesn't matter how you really feel, just shrug it off and say "I'm fine" in a cheery tone.  Why not, it lightens the mood.  Bonus points if everybody else around you feels terrible and can't move.

23.) "It's Miller time." Well, credit for this line probably goes to the original beer commercial first, but Peter announces it in a moment of a minor victory.  Any time you accomplish something modest, this playful line could become the harbinger of a lively celebration.

22.) "That's great!" Ray says this after Peter gets slimed, and he says it so enthusiastically like it's something to celebrate. So whenever something bad happens to somebody - they get slimed, they see a ghost, something - be sure to shout out this line with enthusiasm. Bonus points if you follow this up with "actual physical contact!"

21.) "The flowers are still standing!" Peter says this while trying to pull a tablecloth off. He probably never intended for any of the dishes to remain still, and sure enough, they all break. But hey, the flowers are still standing! Maybe you're pulling this same trick, or doing something else delicate, this line will make your apparent victory known, even if half of everything gets smashed.

20.) "You don't know what it's like out there. I've worked in the private sector. They expect results!" Ray says this to Peter when their academic careers become endangered. I've known people in the public sector who found this line most helpful in underscoring one key difference between the private and public sectors, thus insinuating that government and educational services don't truly expect results. So if you're in the public sector too, this line is perfectly relevant when discussing milestones, goals, and careers.

19.) "Oh, hello miss." A very quick and brief line you can barely hear when Peter's toying around with the microphone in the Statue of Liberty.  What's really amusing is that he says this to Egon.  In my experience, however, I've learned that ladies prefer to be called "miss" instead of "missus," because the former makes her sound younger and more flattering.  So, I've taken to calling everybody "miss," just because.  However, you ought to get bonus points for greeting a random man this way.  Hope the encounter goes well...

18.) "Listen! ...you smell that?" Ray says this with a serious face, but then I'm confused, am I listening or smelling? Or am I supposed to smell with my ears? Or listen with my nose? This self-contradictory line lends itself to easy mockery, and can be utilized anytime you hear or smell something you need to draw attention to.

17.) "We had part of a slinky, but I straightened it." Talking about toys at all? Make your nerdiness known by how you brutally mutilated a slinky in the name of science!

16.) "I gotta have a shower." Louis says this in a very nonchalant manner in the hallway, effectively announcing it to the world as if we care. And you know what, you can do the same. Let everybody know you gotta have a shower.

15.) "Okay...so...she's a dog." When something really weird happens, just go with the flow and accept it, just like Peter did.  Girlfriend turned into a dog? That's okay.  Accept it.

14.) "The light is green, trap is clean." I say this often, because there are green lights everywhere. Traffic lights, lights on phones, lights on computers, and I don't remember what else. Green means good, and having a clean trap is good, so the correlation is clear in my mind.

13.) "You know, I'm a voter! Aren't you supposed to lie to me and kiss my butt?"  Best said after being brushed off by a politician.

12.) "Where do you think all this is coming from? The sky?!!" More of Peter's hilarious ranting and raving, while trying to pass off as a  worker of a gas company.  So if you need to cover your hide and explain away why you're dealing with some kind of mess, you can drive your point home with this over-the-top dialogue.  Bonus points if you really are digging a hole in the middle of the street.

11.) "Yeah...we can cause more damage that way." Any time anybody has a plan, you can follow up with this line to indicate that the plan is solid and there's absolutely no margin of error.

10.) "I feel so funky." Because when you're coated in slime, it's true. Anytime you feel the funk, this line will make your discomfort known.

9.) "Can't you stop your lips flapping for two little minutes?" Pretty much used in lieu of "shut up." However, saying Peter's line here is way more sarcastic and playful, but without losing the essence of the message.  Bonus points if you really do only have two minutes to talk.

8.) "Mother puss bucket..." A viable alternative to any curse involving the word "Mother." It's family-friendly, but we still know what you really mean...

7.) "Everything you're doing is bad.  I want you to know this." Janosz says this very calmly and matter-of-factually in passing to some random artists in his gallery.  This line might make you sound like a total snob and jerk, but if you are a supervisor, it's totally relevant.  Bonus points for muttering this afterward:  "Nobody listens to me..."

6.) "What are we doing today, Zuul?" When you got to know what's going on today, use Peter's passing sarcasm in this line to illicit a full plan of what Zuul (or whoever is in the room) expects from you.

5.) "Back off man...I'm a scientist." It doesn't matter what random question or claim you're making, if you're a scientist, you're perfectly qualified to say whatever the hell you want.

4.) "I collect spores, molds, and fungus." A real conversation-starter, or conversation-ender. Egon says this line, almost in irritation to Janine's chatting, but knowing Egon he was probably telling the truth. Nobody really expects a normal person to collect these things, so when listing your hobbies, this is a rather unique and witty response.

3.) "We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!" A true claim of victory. Shout it out to the world every time you accomplish something major in life (although beating video game bosses might be the most relevant).

2.) "When someone asks you if you're a god, you say 'YES'!" Because, you know, people ask if you're a god all the time. Don't fool around man, if your godhood is challenged, just go with it and instill the fear by saying "yes!" And if anybody doesn't follow this rule, make your displeasure known with Winston's line.

1.) "Yes it's true...this man has no dick..." Probably the best comeback for a jerk who's blaming you for something, and somebody asks if their claim is true. The line makes the best sense when somebody calls the offending party "dickless," but when conflict inevitably erupts, you can always brush it off by shouting out "Well that's what I heard!" This is a line that takes some serious guts to use, but when used properly, it may be the best movie line you can say in real life (assuming it doesn't get you in serious trouble).

Film Review: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

There's hardly a kid born from the 80s who has never heard of this totally bodacious group of walking, talking, pizza-eating, street-fighting reptiles. It has always been a goofy saga, but it was also hip, action-packed, and colorful. Can the same be said about the latest adaptation?

On the surface level, 2014's TMNT at least looks the part. It's a fairly breezy film that never takes itself seriously, packing on generous heapings of goofy comedy, stylish action scenes, and loads of special effects. The first half of the film takes its time to follow April O'Neil around, who inevitably uncovers the secret of the turtles' existence, and the outlandish Foot Clan plot to take over New York City. The last half of the film is pretty much all-out fighting and action, which includes a fight in the sewers, a lengthy chase scene down the slopes of a mountain, and a final showdown on top of a skyscraper. Thus, I found the last half of the film the most engaging.

It's still not without its problems though. Despite the light-hearted tone and all the jokes, very little of it made me laugh outright. The humor is quite low-brow and doofy. Action scenes will be a hit and a miss; fight scenes in the film's first half are horribly shot and edited (on purpose nonetheless). Later scenes are still hectic, but are at least watchable and fairly fun. Scenes in between try their best to keep things rolling fast and without becoming droll, but without any major emotional investment, these scenes tend to drag a bit.
Beyond the surface-level comedy and action, there's not much else to this film. The plot is pretty much a mash-up of typical TMNT fare and 2007's Transformers (also an adaptation of an 80s cartoon where human characters discover some weird life form and gets caught in the middle of a war nobody knew existed; both starring Megan Fox nonetheless). What plot the movie has is riddled with plot holes, and scenes that are simply way too unbelievable (maybe not a valid complaint for TMNT, but with the way the film tries to look believable, the film shoots its own creditability in the foot). The turtle characters are fun to watch, usually, and Splinter is one cool rat. They aren't terribly deep characters, but they are colorful, and there is just enough background to them to keep them from being total caricatures. Other characters aren't as good: April O'Neil is almost annoying as she obsesses over the turtles and shouts her findings at everybody she runs across. Her sidekick is a dork. Shredder is extremely flat, lifeless, and lacking in presence, serving little more than an excuse to have a boss fight at the end of the movie. The film draws some connections between all the characters to give their interactions more backing, but it only strains the creditability of the plot even further.

The film's photography looks good sometimes and terrible at other times. Editing is choppy. Acting is pretty lackluster from the whole crowd; Megan Fox is far from endearing despite her looks, the voice acting can be a hit or a miss, and other actors don't really take their roles seriously, for better or for worse. Writing is pretty daft. This production uses okay-looking sets, props, and costumes. Locales are pretty small-scale most of the time. Special effects vary from good to bad. Music is okay (I got to admit that I found the end credits song catchy).

This incarnation of the Turtles definitely has its flaws, but it tries to be a fun picture, and it is at least partway successful. Not everybody will be quite as easily charmed as I am, so I'm compelled to recommend  approaching this movie with caution.

3/5 (Entertainment: Pretty Good | Story: Marginal | Film: Marginal)

Film Review: Guardians of the Galaxy

"Why would you want to save the galaxy?"

"Because I'm one of the idiots who lives in it!" - Bradley Cooper and Chris Pratt

Back when Marvel kicked in Phase 1 of its cinematic universe, we all knew who Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Thor, and Captain America were.  All these films were destined to be hits to some degree.  But...the Guardians of the Galaxy? Who are these a-holes? If you're like me and never read comics, you may be asking the same question.  Seriously, a gun-totting raccoon? A walking tree? David Bautista? And the guy who directed Slither? Marvel is taking some serious risks...

If box office numbers are any indication, the risk paid off tremendously.  The film wastes little time in plunging the audience into the deep end of the most outlandish and far-out reaches of the Marvel universe.  From the desolate ruins of an abandoned planet to the thriving heart of an interstellar civilization, this space-faring adventure cuts across colorful nebulae and imaginative worlds, the likes of which have only ever been topped by the Star Wars universe.  The film has no shortage of action, as characters fight with their fists, knives, and futuristic guns against an onslaught of bad guys.  There is a huge all-out battle in the end, with thousands of space ships filling up the screen.  In between the exciting parts, the film moves fast and fluidly with plenty of spot-on comedy, and just enough drama to give the characters a little more depth.

The story covers pretty basic ground, using the same old type of Macguffin that Avengers and Thor:  The Dark World used.  The villain of this film is a pretty flat, one-dimensional fellow who's best remembered for his presence, and little more.  What makes this film stand out will be the protagonists.  Peter Quill (the self-proclaimed "Star-Lord") has charm, but thanks to the film's opening scene, he provides an emotional anchor we can all latch onto.  Drax is a warrior driven by vengeance, but is so blunt that he can't comprehend metaphors, and hilarity ensues.  Gamora is a fierce fighter as well with an allure of her own.  Rocket is a hard-drinking gun-happy raccoon with attitude.  Groot is a walking tree, who can kick some butt, but also provides some of the most lovable moments.  This whole gang is very much in the same vein of space outlaws as in Firefly or The Cowboy Bebop; each character provides enough emotional investment and attention so that they stand out and become heroes we can root for, no matter how bizarre or unlikely this union seems.  The film is also loaded with a plethora of side characters, who all stand out in their own ways, to the point where I wished they could have had more to them (especially Thanos, who's obviously going to be a major player somewhere down the line; Nebula, who I thought was cooler than anything; the Collector, who's not given that much to do here; and Yondu, who clearly shares a history with Quill).

This film is crafted with solid and precise photography and editing.  Acting is top-notch; you'd probably never expect much from this cast, but everybody does their best to make the characters stand out.  Chris Pratt is not too shabby as the main hero; I enjoyed watching Zoe Saldana; Dave Bautista's performance is surprisingly solid; voices by Bradley Cooper and Vin Diesel get the job done well.  Everybody else contributes admirably.  Writing is pretty good.  This production spares no expense on the outlandish and imaginative sets, props, costumes, and special effects.  Music is alright.

Guardians of the Galaxy is one of the most well-rounded blockbusters since Marvel's own Avengers.  It balances action, comedy, and storytelling very well.  It defies all the odds and presents this obscure group of misfits as a thrilling new franchise for the masses.  Best of all, it does so with diligent attention to the characters.

Recommended!

4.5/5 (Entertainment:  Very Good | Story:  Good | Film:  Very Good)

Manga Review: FLCL (Hajime Ueda)

What the F is FLCL? If you've seen the 6-episode anime series, you still may not know or care, other than it's one incredibly weird, wild, and trippy series where a kid sprouts robots from his head and keeps getting run over by a girl on a Vespa.  Yep, strange stuff indeed.

I picked up this manga volume believing that it would be the basis for the anime, but now I see that it's the other way around.  And it's a bit of a relief, because I was perplexed to find that I loved the anime way more than this manga.  As weird and convoluted as the anime got, it actually made sense after so many viewings.  I could watch the series and identify how each piece fits; with the manga, not so much.  It's like a massive remix of everything, and it just made it all confusing.

To be fair, it is a very easy thing to read.  The pages breeze by, thanks to the simple, to-the-point writing.  Artwork is stylishly crude and simple.  It's far from detailed or elegant, but that's also the beauty of it; it's like a form of minimalist pop art, and I can't help but to stop and stare at the weird, blocky, featureless faces on each page, because they look cool as they are.  However, the book misses a lot of the manic energy that made the anime so great, and the action scenes in the manga tend to be very blurred and confusing.

The story is where the book loses me completely, because as far as I can tell the story makes no sense at all.  Having seen the anime a few good times, to the point where I can understand it on a deeper level, I can tell that the manga hits up a lot of the same major events.  All the main characters are represented, and generally fulfill the same roles.  The minor characters receive more attention.  The problem I see is that there's no clear direction for the plot; it just wanders from one random scene to the other.  The characters have no evident motivation, so there's no natural progression from one scene to the next.  I think the worst thing is that all the elements I could draw connections with in the anime are flipped around so much that I can't figure them out in the book.  In the end, I was just confused.

As mentioned above, the manga is drawn with a heck of a style.  All the characters look really slick, and the world they inhabit is pretty well-rendered.  Writing is okay, but it doesn't explain much at all of the plot or characters, and it seems very simplistic overall.

The FLCL comic has a lot of craziness, but unlike the anime, there's no real semblance of method to make the madness palatable.  It could just be that I didn't "get it," and it might take more readings to fully appreciate.  Right now though, I just like the pretty pictures, and still value the anime version for having a stronger narrative, more compelling characters, and a batty style.

3/5 (Entertainment:  Pretty Good | Story:  Poor | Manga:  Pretty Good)

Film Review: The Lego Movie

Legos have always been my favorite toy.  In fact, they still are.  For as long as they've been around, it makes me wonder what took so long for somebody to make an official Lego movie.

Then again, what kind of movie could possibly be made out of these silly little construction blocks? The biggest fear going into this movie is that it could have just been 90 minutes of senseless fluff.  Even kids thought this would be stupid.

Fortunately, the film overall proves to be quite sharp and clever for audiences of all ages.  It breezes by at a brisk pace, loaded with fast-paced comedy and visually-striking action.  Even during the film's most grim and dramatic parts (of which there are a few), the tone remains light, but without being too overbearing or sappy.  The comedy keeps everything consistently fun and endearing, thanks to a ton of great random lines, sight gags, pop culture jokes, and some self-parody.

What really makes this film work, however, is the substance.  You'd think it'd be easy to write this film off as a mere marketing tool to sell more Legos (and it's probably working), but even then, The Lego Movie takes care to use Legos as the medium, more than a mere product to shove down our throats.  With Legos as the film's primary canvas, the film immediately whisks us through a universe of colorful building blocks, complete with literal worldbuilding and mythos.  The story treads on familiar ground; the characters inhabit familiar archetypes (I especially couldn't help but to draw comparisons between Emmit and Neo from The Matrix; the wizard might as well fulfill the same role as Morpheus, and Wild Styles is much like Trinity), and the plot is molded in a formulaic epic-journey structure.  What really makes this film brilliant, however, is the meta-fiction dynamic that becomes apparent as it goes on; it's a dynamic that made films like Cool World and Who Framed Roger Rabbit? novel, but The Lego Movie takes it a step further by tying in the story and themes together with (at least seemingly) earnest and heartfelt intentions.

At it's core, The Lego Movie emphasizes creativity as the theme.  It is the basis of the story's conflict, it is the focus of the characters, and it is the idea that resounds through the script.  The film firmly declares that we are all special individuals, all capable of creating new, imaginative, unique things.  Legos have always been a toy to nurture that creativity, and The Lego Movie is a celebration of the creative spirit.  It is a theme that's not only inspiring for children, but also for the inner child.  I believe this film supports one fundamental truth I've always believed in:  it is more powerful to create than to destroy.

This film is animated very distinctively with CGI that convincingly looks like stop-motion animation.  It is all very colorful, well-rendered, well-textured, and has good-looking lighting.  Movements are made to be a bit stiff on purpose, and it achieves the perfect effect of looking like a home-made feature.  Voice-acting is great, and the script is pretty sharp.  This production does a great job of replicating thousands and thousands of Lego pieces on-screen to create big imaginative worlds.  Music can be strangely catchy too.

The Lego Movie is to movies what LittleBigPlanet is to video games; they both have a seminal home-made look and charm, but with a firm focus on creativity and individual expression.  Legos have been an endearing medium of creativity for years, and chances are that they'll remain on toystore shelves for more years to come.  Even if this movie is merely a marketing tool, it is a well-made one with a lot of heart and spirit.  I think the movie - and the toy - is quality entertainment for anybody young and old.

4.5/5 (Entertainment:  Perfect | Story:  Good | Film:  Very Good)
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Feeling rather nostalgic and inspired, I managed to dig up this old picture of myself with my favorite toys.  It's possible that the film has struck a chord with my inner child, but I don't think that's ever been a bad thing.