The first (and sadly not the last) direct-to-video Home Alone sequel doesn't leave a great impression, even from the first frame. With its cheap editing and transition effects, over-the-top acting, and bizarre cinematography that sways from overly mediocre to overly cartoony, it just looks cheap and lame. What makes this entry a hard sell for me, however, is the cast. These are supposed to be the same characters from the first two movies, but they look and act nothing like their respective counterparts. Jason Beghe as the father is probably the best standout, but even then, he's no John Heard. Heard played a father figure who was supportive, assertive, firm when he needed to be, but still loving. Beghe plays this character up as more conflicted and confused than he should be, and it doesn't help that Clare Carey plays Mrs. McCallister as passive. By comparison, Catherine O'Hara played this character with equal parts motherly love and fiery determination. Carey and Beghe both made me realize just how strong the original performances actually were. Sadly though, the weak casting extends to Kevin himself—Mike Weinberg struggles to really nail any emotional depth, and he comes across as just another hyperactive ten-year-old. It's a definite far cry from Macaulay Culkin's take. I'm also a lot less enthused about Giddeon Jacobs as Buzz, who doesn't even look the part with his shorter stature and curly hair—he plays this character strictly as the obnoxious bully. But the one casting choice that really grinds my gears, sadly, is French Stewart playing Marv. He doesn't really bother to inhabit the same character that Daniel Stern brought to life so vividly before—Stewart simply falls back on his usual shtick, focusing on goofy faces, lots of bumbling, and playing a lame, dumb character. This works with enough charm in something like Third Rock From the Sun, but it does not translate into this character at all, because it lacks threat. Even with all the stupid things Marv said and did in the first two movies, Stern could still play the role with menace and angst—Stewart has none of that.
As if the characterizations alone aren't enough to be distracting, none of these players even look like their respective characters (except maybe Beghe, who sorta looks closer to Heard). It really says something when the cast of Home Alone 3 looks more spot-on than the cast that's actually supposed to re-adapt the McCallisters. Seth Smith looked closer to Buzz than Jacobs. Haviland Morris looked closer to Kate than Carey. And, of course, Weinberg is a weird choice for Kevin, since he looks much smaller and mousier than Culkin.
Casting choices might be the most distracting thing about this movie, but it has a trickle-down effect, since the story hinges on all these characters. Most of it plays out more like a Lifetime drama, with the focus put on the love triangle between Peter, Kate, and Natalie (played by Joana Going in one of the film's better performances). The melodrama is (maybe understandably) sidelined by the cartoony hijinks that occur when Marv and his girlfriend repeatedly attempt to break into the house (all part of a scheme to kidnap a royal prince that's supposed to visit the house, and all of this absolutely feels tacked on and contrived, especially given the unlikely wish-fulfillment outcome of all these threads). There are additional subplots in which Kevin suspects the butler of being an inside man, but any twist the film pulls is as predictable as they come. There are enough jokes, gags, and pratfalls to keep anybody's monkey brain engaged, but it all comes with no real setup or subtlety. God help us, there's even one or two fart jokes in the mix. It's a kid's movie to the core, even though it looks like it also wants to be a family drama too, but it all comes across as goofy and lame.
The production quality is notably weak, with functional photography and editing that looks like something I could have made at home. Despite the unique setting, most of the set design and props look overly-polished and fake, and sometimes cheap. While most of the performances are off-key, I have to admit that the best standouts are in the more original characters. Erick Avari, for example, plays the stuffy butler about as well as you'd expect Avari to play him as, and it works. I also have a soft spot for Missi Pyle, who absolutely goes over-the-top in her role to match Stewart's buffoonery, but at least she comes across as original. Barbara Babcock is fine. Seeming to match the picture itself, the music score is also lame.
Beyond merely being weak, this film is poorly-written tripe that offers nothing really new or original. Even worse, it takes familiar characters we loved from the first two movies and takes them down unbecoming directions, both in the story and with the performances. With lame, cartoony gags spacing out the predictable melodrama, it all comes across as cliched and dumb. If it was made today, you could even accuse it of being AI-generated. Unfortunately, humans are responsible for this, and someday an AI god will probably judge all mankind for the head-scratching decision to bring Home Alone 4 into existence with this god-awful cast and script.
2/10
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