TV Show Review: Stargate: Atlantis

Stargate, the film and the show that followed, explored the possibility of ancient alien structures serving as gateways to other worlds across the universe.  I honestly haven't seen much of SG-1, but it's a familiar structure, where a group of armed explorers go from world to world and confront a new problem every week.  In this spin-off series, however, the saga is elevated to the next level as the lost city of Atlantis is discovered, and then utilized as a forward base of operations for the Pegasus galaxy.  In this tangent of the Stargate universe, a new group of characters face a new group of otherworldly challenges.

The neat thing about SG:  Atlantis is that it requires little foreknowledge of SG-1; the connection between the two shows is pretty faint, and it is entirely possible to watch Atlantis on its own merits.  The bulk of the show focuses on a war between a race of vampiric aliens, known as the Wraith, but there are numerous other subplots and stand-alone episodes.  Many episodes have some pretty tense militaristic and political situations.  Some are loaded with action and thrills.  Some are just plain silly and humorous (there's even an episode that parodies a CSI episode).  There are a few that have some spectacular battle scenes.  Most of the episodes do offer something entertaining, and there are very few I'd consider dull.

The stories are generally fine and dandy; the overarching plot involving the Wraith is full of ups and downs, and it can get interesting as all the side-factions get involved.  Most of the stand-alone episodes have good stories.  But what makes them all work is the cast of characters, and they are a pretty fun bunch.  They fulfill the typical archetypes in science fiction, much like watching a typical Star Trek crew, but each team member has a personality that makes them lovable; it gets to the point where you can care for them, and you want to keep watching to make sure they get out of everything okay.  The show does pull off a few bold twists and developments with the characters, and it helps keep things from getting too stale.

This show is pretty well-filmed and edited.  Acting can be a little over-the-top, but it helps add to the personality of the characters and the show overall, and keeps it all fun.  Writing is okay.  This production has good-looking sets, props, and costumes.  Prosthetic effects aren't always convincing, but they are pretty cool.  Special effects are often pretty cool, but some have not aged well.  Music is not bad.

For its entire five seasons, Stargate:  Atlantis is consistently entertaining, not only because of its intriguing stories and thrilling action, but also because of its enjoyable group of characters.  It's worth watching for sci-fi fans.

4/5 (Entertainment:  Good | Stories:  Pretty Good | Show:  Good)

Favorite episodes:  Rising Parts 1 and 2, Thirty-Eight Minutes, Letters From Pegasus, The Siege Parts 1, 2, and 3, Runner, Instinct, Conversion, Epiphany, Critical Mass, The Long Goodbye, No Man's Land, Irresistible, The Real World, Echoes, Irresponsible, Sunday, Tabula Rasa, Trio, The Daedalus Variations, Inquisition, Brain Storm, Vegas, Enemy at the Gate, and probably more.

Film Review: Dracula Untold

Dracula's story has been told and re-told so many times in so many different ways that the mere thought of having a "untold" Dracula tale comes off as ironic. But there is potential, especially in the historic roots of the character (as inspired by Vlad III "The Impaler," or "The Son of the Dragon," considered a hero of Wallachia, but also an infamous butcher everywhere else). Regardless, very few films have explored exactly how Dracula became such a cruel bloodsucking vampire.

The film kicks off with a prologue sequence that spells out who Vlad is and what the Turks are doing to his kingdom, in a style that feels like a moving graphic novel. From then on, the film wastes little time in pitting the titular prince against the Turkish army. Naturally, the prince resorts to fighting evil with evil, consorting with a vampire to gain supernatural powers. From then on, Vlad goes on to crush waves of Turks almost single-handedly. Most of the time, he's either transforming into a swarm of bats that rushes through his enemies, or he's slicing necks with expert swordplay. Scenes in between the action rarely drag; there is a fair amount of drama involved between the prince, his wife, his son, his followers - adding vampirism to these relationships offers a few intriguing twists and implications worth exploring.

However, the story is pretty standard fare; it's as if they took 300, took out the Spartans, replaced Leonidas with Dracula, and used Castlevania as a backdrop. As cool as it is to see a medieval Transylvania in action, the story is very simple and straightforward, and can be quite predictable. Most of it feels like it could have used more refinement; plot holes can undoubtedly be found, and more character development would be quite welcome. The whole film breezes by in a formulaic fashion, entwining bits of history with bits of vampire legend, but it amounts to very little that feels fresh, new, or invoking.

The film generally looks okay, with mostly-good photography and editing. Some of the action scenes have horrid camera work. Acting is okay: I enjoyed watching Luke Evans as the main character, and other actors can be a hit or a miss. Writing is quite simple and unrefined. This production uses pretty fine-looking sets, props, and costumes. Special effects offer some good-looking views of fantastic places, and are good with some of the creature effects, but are rougher in the action scenes. Music sounds like more of the same.

Dracula Untold is certainly action-packed and takes advantage of some of the original lore of the character, but it also feels like just another typical swords and sorcery flick. Fans of the character or genre may find it worth renting.

3.5/5 (Entertainment: Good | Story: Average | Film: Average)

Video Game Review: Prince of Persia (2008)

After the ups and downs of the Sands of Time trilogy, game-makers kicked off a reboot of the Prince of Persia series.  This game from 2008 is a colorful, cartoony affair with a less serious protagonist going on a grand adventure that involves a lot of acrobatics, puzzles, and combat.

Once the story is kicked off, you're set on a quest to cleanse the land by exploring four different corners of the map.  Together with Princess Elika, you spend your time traversing across the labyrinthine sprawl of ruins with your mad parkour skills.  Most of the time, you'll have to make calculated jumps and launches while running vertically along walls or clinging to ceilings or any number of other complex moves.  As far as combat goes, it's strictly one-on-one with occasional monsters.  The most intense of fights occur with four different bosses, who guard each area, but won't really die until you kill them in their respective lairs.  And once you liberate an area and cleanse it, you have to collect light seeds, which will unlock the ability to use special pressure plates that can propel you to new areas.  You just keep working at this until you can open up the temple and face the final boss.  It's an extremely structured game with a bigger focus on platforming, puzzles, and collecting things, but it's pretty relaxing that way.  You never really die in this game; even if a villain closes in on you, or you misjudge a jump and plunge down a lethal drop, Elika will save you every time with her magic.  That leaves you free to work through the game at your own pace and skill; some of the acrobatics can be frustrating, and the combat is not really all that smooth or fun, but it is a more laid-back experience and a great way to pass the time.

The story is pretty limited in scope and scale, but it is an interesting enough tale with a cast of endearing characters.  The actual Prince of Persia is a young, arrogant, wisecracking dude, and he shares great chemistry with Princess Elika, who proves to be just as sharp and able as the Prince himself.  There is a history to the princess and the ancient kingdom you're made to explore, which adds up to a pretty interesting and exotic mythology.  The characters often break out into discussions on free will vs destiny, and it all comes to full circle by the bittersweet ending.

This game is rendered with a cartoony, cell-animated look.  It is rendered with decently-sharp and smooth-looking textures, lighting, and frame-rates.  Particle effects are often pretty decent.  The writing is not bad, and the voices, sounds, and music are decent.  Designs for the settings, objects, characters, costumes, and overall worldbuilding is decent too.

2008's Prince of Persia is a fun game, plain and simple.  It's a simple structure that offers hours of challenges, and is thankfully not punishing.  It's not necessarily groundbreaking or profound, but it's satisfying nonetheless.

4/5 (Entertainment:  Good | Story:  Pretty Good | Game:  Good)

Book Review: The Children of Húrin (JRR Tolkein)

"Then Mablung said bitterly: 'I also have been meshed in the doom of the Children of Húrin, and thus with words have slain one that I loved.'" - JRR Tolkein

Here it is, decades after the passing of JRR Tolkein, and eons after his epic sagas of The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings left their mark on fantasy literature.  Fans wanting more could always fall back to The Silmarillion.  Now, after all this time, Tolkein's son collected, edited, and released this collection of tales to provide even more Middle-Earth action.

Does that mean this book is inherently awesome? Perhaps for diehard Tolkein fans, but I found the book to be a total chore to go through.  Even though it's a pretty trim tome with only 257 pages, it is completely saturated in names, places, and folklore that mostly goes way over my head.  I personally found it tiresome to flip through so many proper pronouns and trying to keep track of who was what and where they were and what they were doing.

Part of the problem is the prose, which I felt tried so hard to be extravagant and grandiose that it felt like Tolkein was trying to rewrite the Prose Edda or something.  As such, it came off as being extremely stiff and dry.  It made it hard for me to personally connect to the characters or the plot, and combined with the onslaught of namedropping, I found myself trudging through the book, going through the motions of reading without truly becoming engrossed in it.

I understand that the book is compiled from various other bits and pieces, which have their connections to The Silmarillion, and parts of this may have been published before in other volumes.  The story is a huge, sprawling, somewhat random saga that includes all manner of war, drama, orc and dragon-slaying, and adventuring.  There are familiar elements, but a lot of it is fresh and new, covering areas and events that are otherwise far from the classic Lord of the Rings era.  In the end though, Children of Húrin is less of an actual story and more of a compendium of background legends and history in the overall lore of the Middle-Earth.

In the end, if you're a huge Tolkein fan and can absolutely dig deep into all the names and history of the Middle-Earth without much reservation on the author's prose, then the book will likely be a total winner for you.  For casual reading, I felt the book was dry, convoluted, and way too dense.

2.5/5 (Entertainment:  Poor | Story:  Marginal | Book:  Average)

Video Game Review: Tomb Raider: Legend

Upon celebrating its tenth anniversary, the Tomb Raider franchise underwent a pretty heavy-duty make-over in Tomb Raider:  Legend.  With a new developer, the series would start with a fresh new direction, ensuring that Lara Croft's adventures would continue for a while longer.

Legend definitely has its share of coolness.  As before, you play Lara on a quest to raid tombs and fight bad guys.  This time, the relic in question is Excalibur, and the Arthur legend is interpreted in a pretty loose way that spreads the tale across multiple countries.  As always, you are required to climb seemingly-impossible obstacles with precise, complex acrobatic moves.  You occasionally fight armed goons and supernatural bosses (although, I don't recall many animals in this game).  In addition to the main story, you can also explore the Croft manor for bonus collectables, and you can unlock a plethora of bonus material.  Overall, the experience is an adventurous rush, much akin to a regular Indiana Jones or Dirk Pitt story.

All that being said, the game had its frustrating parts.  I found myself breezing through parts of it satisfactorily, but then I'd be held up with some obstacle or crazy boss fight that just kept me stuck for hours.  Part of the problem is that the game has a few iffy glitches (at least on the PS3's HD collection, I'm not sure how this game actually fared when it was first released for the PC and older consoles).  Lara would often die an inexplicable, stupid death (especially in the last boss fight, where swinging Excalibur suddenly backfired and caused her to fly off the map).  I had plenty of moments where a jump was miscalculated, either by me or the machine.  It was never a smooth or fully-enjoyable experience, unfortunately; the game has a pretty even mix of good and bad moments.

The story that's told here is at least most of the way relevant, given that it explores more of Lara Croft's backstory and uses it as a focus for the main conflict.  It is still episodic in a contrived way, stringing together exotic locations for the sake of giving you a series of unique levels with unique challenges.  The game ultimately hits up some decent character-building points, but the plotting feels like more of the same.

This game boasts some adequate graphics, especially for its time.  It is most notable for its animation and movements; Lara's climbing and acrobatics are quite flexible and dynamic, and offer its own array of challenges.  The gameplay and control scheme overall is pretty sublime and easy to master.  Levels are well-designed, and features okay-looking settings, items, costumes, and creatures.  Sounds and voices aren't too bad, and the music is lovely.

Playing Tomb Raider:  Legend is pretty fun, but with a few frustrating moments.  If you're a casual fan of adventure gaming, it'll be worthwhile as long as you're patient and able to stick with it.  Fans should love it though.

4/5 (Entertainment:  Pretty Good | Story:  Pretty Good | Game:  Good)

Film Review: Lara Croft: Tomb Raider and the Cradle of Life

One of the most popular characters in video gaming lore returns to the big screen! I've always wanted to like the first Tomb Raider film, and it does have its moments, but something about it always threw me off. I blame it on its indulgence in style over substance, with its chopped-up action scenes, choppy narrative, and one too many surreal scenes.  As it is with any sequel, I expected improvements. Even though both films were poorly received by critics, I do believe that the second Tomb Raider film delivers the solid, straightforward adventure story I always expected.

If nothing else, TR:COL cuts to the chase and maintains a clearer narrative than its predecessor.  It still has its excesses (do we really need to see Lara doing flips on a jetski?), but the pacing is tight and even throughout.  This sequel is still really high on style and action, but it is a smooth and fluid experience; while the first film was rather choppy, this movie is smooth with its camera work and editing, allowing the action to flow and stand well on its own.  There are plenty of smashing shoot-out scenes (especially in the Hong Kong scenes), and quite a few impressive stunts.  Special effects are used quite liberally, for better or for worse.  Overall, the action and style is satisfying.

The substance suffers a little, especially since the strengths of the first film are absent.  This film keeps the characters one-dimensional. The best that can be said is that they try to develop chemistry, which is meant to resonate stronger by the film's conclusion, and it is partway successful. As far as the plot goes, it's pretty standard adventure fare, but I felt that the quest for Pandora's Box was a fairly interesting subject.  The film does suffer from some ridiculous scenes (such as Lara punching a shark...really?!), but for a brainless popcorn flick, I've seen way worse.

This film is really smooth and slick, with stylish and solid photography and editing. Acting is not a huge standout, but it's not as cringe-worthy as the first film. Angelina Jolie returns and does her best to bring Lara Croft to life; even though she still only channels the single-dimension action heroine of the late 90s and early 00s, she does a decent job at it. Gerard Butler puts in as much charm as he can, for better or for worse. Everybody else is passable. Writing is average. This production has some great-looking locales, and features some slick sets, props, and costumes. Special effects are fairly pretty to look at, but are often frivolous and still rather fake-looking. Music is cool; the soundtrack features a number of good songs, while Alan Silvestri's score pretty much uses the same melody as The Mummy Returns to strike up the right tone.

I personally enjoy this film, because even if it is a shallow run-of-the-mill cash-in, it is a good-looking action-packed one.  Really, it's only recommended to diehard fans.

4/5 (Entertainment: Very Good | Story: Average | Film: Pretty Good)

Film Review: Lara Croft: Tomb Raider

Since its initial release in 1996, Tomb Raider is one of the most prominent video game franchises. It did to games what Indiana Jones did to movies and what Clive Cussler did to books: they all tap into a certain sense of adventure, with ties in archeology and ancient history, and with liberal amounts of action and peril, to immerse the audience in a thrilling experience. Lara Croft may be well-known for her...ahem...bodily proportions...but she is an action heroine who could stand shoulder-to-shoulder with Indy and Dirk Pitt, in terms of physique, confidence, knowledge, and wit.

Inevitably, the live-action film for Tomb Raider was released in 2001, with enough hype to build it up as one of the biggest action hits of the year. The film definitely tries its hardest to be cool and hip; right from the start, it's loaded with unusual camera tricks and movements, with lots of frivolous time-lapse shots and fast cuts. A high-tempo soundtrack accentuates the small wealth of shoot-outs, chases, fights, and athletic stunts. The film does entertain, and there are moments where the action does come off as being "cool" and still holds up. A lot of it is pretty senseless and frivolous, and there is an underlying impression that the film is merely emulating a game experience, boss fights and all. Regardless, the film is successful at being stylish and fun.

On the other hand, the style becomes so heavy-handed that it does bring down the experience a notch. Frequent flashbacks and other random scenes disrupt the flow of the film. Some scenes, especially toward the end, become so surreal and weird, they further disrupt what should otherwise be a straightforward adventure flick.

With these random scenes, however, the film does try its best to dig up some solid substance. The story is not bad, per se, and it does its best to add some backstory and relevance to the characters and plot. I'm certain the filmmakers (and some audiences too) geeked out when they saw John Voight playing Lara Croft's father. The actual plotline, however, is pretty screwy, and follows the exact same structure as a video game (cut-scene, enter new area, fight bad guys, fight boss, obtain artifact, continue to next zone). Lara Croft is a two-dimensional character at best, for even with a backstory, there's never really enough to flesh her out and illicit much empathy for her or her struggles.

As mentioned above, the film has style, for better or for worse. Acting is a strange animal to judge here; Angelina Jolie is easily the centerpiece of the show, and she fits the part physically. She also does inject her character with a certain playfulness and wit that suits the character. Now that the games have evolved in so many different ways, however, I can't help but to regard Jolie's performance as an antiquated one-dimensional portrayal of Lara, same as it was in the 90s, lacking in nuanced depth or emotion.   Emulating the classic Lara Croft, Jolie does a good job, but in the future, I'm certain that she'll be supplanted very easily (especially if the 2013 game is any indication). As far as everybody else goes, they're serviceable at best. Except for a few witty lines, the writing is pretty bad. This production has decent sets, props, and costumes, but also some rather aged and bad special effects. Music tries its best to seem cool; the soundtrack is a favorite of mine, but it can serve as a distraction during the actual movie. The score is alright.

With all the style and action, and with the promise of seeing the classic video game character brought to life, the Tomb Raider movie seemed like a big movie event of my generation. It did its part well enough, but it remains a rather shallow and uneven experience.  It would be worth a look for fans and anybody interested in adventure flicks.

3.5/5 (Entertainment: Good | Story: Average | Film: Average)

Film Review: Noah (2014)

We all know the tale; it's been told, parodied, and stereotyped to the point where the original context can get lost in the flood of pop culture. In this modern telling of the story of Noah's Ark, the film definitely emphasizes the mythic aspects to deliver a larger-than-life spectacle. As expected, you will see fantastic visions of creation and death, hoards of animals entering the Ark, the the deluge sweeping over the Earth. What you may not expect is that the film also includes a massive army of barbaric hoards clashing with fallen angels, flashes of magic and mysticism, twists in morality that challenges Noah's heroics, and an overall tone that's grim, brutal, and somber. And yet, despite so many liberties, it still captures the essence of the story in its own unique way.

The film is somewhat split in half. The first half contains all the big-scale setpieces, containing plenty of special effects and scenes of war. Once the flood commences and the big battle ends, the film settles down and becomes a brooding drama.  Pacing becomes herky-jerky because of this; audiences wanting action might enjoy the first half and get bored by the end, while others may feel the opposite.  The overall tone is very grim, and the film doesn't shy away from showing the raw brutality of the world of sinners and the struggle for survival.  Parts of it will work, parts of it might not; ultimately this movie will be different from person to person, and it will likely be one of the biggest love-it-or-hate-it films of 2014.  It will depend on your disposition on the storytelling.

This story takes a lot of liberties from the Bible; if it's a word-for-word accurate account you want, the film will disappoint.  Some of the changes are purely cosmetic, to give the film a kind of high-fantasy aesthetic (such as the inclusion of The Watchers, which are fallen angels; the Bible mentions Nephilim, but not these weird rock giants).  Some changes are made to make the plot more convenient (such as using a seed from the Garden of Eden to sprout a forest, so the Ark can be built).  The biggest alterations involve the addition of the descendants of Cain, providing human antagonists for Noah to fight in a big battle, and one central villain to draw out even more drama.  One other big change that might upset purists is what's done to Noah and his family; the film contrives a huge drama out of their legacy, going so far as pushing them to odd and amoral directions that truly challenge our notion of what could have happened in this ancient story.

All that being said, I felt the liberties with the story were warranted, because the film methodically creates many long threads of conflict and entwines them into one big braid of a plot that gives it momentum and drives the characters to their most logical directions.  Without all this drama, the characters really wouldn't have much to do, before or after the big flood.  As it is, the film fills itself up with so much conflict that it gives the characters life and minds of their own, and their actions generate some very complex dynamics that ultimately contribute to deeper thematic depth.

I think the film's greatest strength is the subtext:  the film is loaded with ideas and themes concerning creation, mankind's sin, judgment, mercy, and morality. Most of these ideas are conveyed sublimely through the use of powerful images and punctual dialogue. In the end, we're made to understand on a deeper level exactly why the flood happened, why Noah acts the way he does, why things play out the way they do, and what the implications are.  Most of the film's conflicts revolve around the sanctity of creation; the film shows a lot of brutality as the descendants of Cain defile creation, in contrast to Noah who tries his best to preserve it.  As the film goes on, themes of environmentalism, industrialization, and resource depletion become very blatant, offering a frightening reflection not only of the past, but also of what could come in the future.  The final message, however, is an uplifting one that I always found most elegant: the idea that the end is also the beginning. This is a rather bleak apocalyptic tale, but the film radiates hope by its end (and the key emotion that the director seems to convey overall is love).

The film is well-crafted with some very incredible photography and editing. There are a number of scenes in the film that are appropriately powerful and moving, thanks to the way it unites key imagery and symbolism with the narrative. Russel Crowe is as good as usual, and does have some great standout scenes.  Jennifer Connelly is perfectly compelling in her role, and I was surprised that Emma Watson put on a great performance as well. Everybody else does alright. Writing gets the job done well, but most of the dialogue seemed pretty blunt. This production spares no expense on the real-looking sets, props, and  costumes.  Some special effects are okay, some were made to look a bit archaic on purpose (namely the Watchers, who are animated in some kind of  stop-motion style reminiscent of something like The Dark Crystal), and some effects are incredibly brilliant.  Clint Mansell's music score is as elegant as ever.

The film will not sit well with everybody.  Some folks will be bored.  Others might be upset that it's not 100% true to the Bible.  However, Noah is a film experience I personally valued a lot; its issues didn't really affect me that much, and I grew to admire the story and all it meant on a deeper level.  With its blend of action, visual splendor, and compelling storytelling, I felt it was a fairly moving picture.

However, this is not an easy movie to casually recommend.  You might love it.  You might hate it.  It'll all depend on your views of the Bible, of director Darren Aronofsky, and of Hollywood and its embellishments.  The best I can say is give the movie a try, because this really is a one-of-a-kind epic.

4.5/5 (Experience: Very Good | Content: Very Good | Film: Very Good)

Ouroboros Book III: Demon-Blood, Excerpt, Chapter 17

Somehow, I've become inspired to resume writing and try to finish the many projects I've started. One of the biggest things I have to do is to continue on with book 3 of my epic fantasy series: Ouroboros. Each book is intended to be its own tale, but together they represent the alternating push and pull of good and evil forces, which could lead up to the end of the world.

In the third book, titled Demon-Blood, the story tracks a woman named Vykara, who becomes victimized by her husband, and resorts to the power of a demon named Loki (yes, the Norse god, but nowhere near the same as the dude in the Thor movies) to take revenge. From then on, she becomes a fugitive to the kingdom, and finds her way to the forest of the dark elves (the Svartálfar), who are threatened by the kingdom's ever-growing townships. She decided to rally the elves and wage war against the kingdom, plundering the towns until she has enough resources to besiege and capture the city of Lunaheim. After a lengthy siege, the city falls into her control, and all of the nation of Narsing with it. However, the war is far from over. In these scenes, the next stage of the conflict is revealed.

This story is a particularly dark and bleak tale of violence and sadism, meant to chronicle the genesis of evil and tyranny on a personal, political, and spiritual level. Even though she is the main character, Vykara is the villain of the story. The world she inhabits is comprised of multiple pieces of myth from around the world, but most of this story draws upon the lore and culture of the ancient Norse. This is a very wicked story I'm working on, but I hope to find a solid balance to keep the character's pathos compelling (by making her a villain we can root for) and the story overall engaging. I hope this except will give you a small but captivating taste of what this book will be like.

[Warning: contains graphic violence]
--------------------
          At one end [of the great hall], a company of men awaited; four of them were thegns clad in ornate leather armor, and one was the emissary wearing a rich, elaborate silk robe.
          Standing at my throne, I regarded the visitors sharply. One of the guards announced, “My lady, the emissary from Farsil wishes to have an audience with you.”
          I wore a smile, to mask my own feelings of contempt and loathing, and greeted sweetly, “Fellow countrymen, welcome to Lunaheim. To what do I owe the pleasure of your illustrious company?”
          “Forgive us if we do not kneel before your presence, Lady Vykara Guntersdottir,” the emissary scowled. “You may look and act as a queen, but you have no such true power. You are a usurper! A thief to the throne of Narsing! Even as we speak, King Hogarth has claimed sanctuary in Gildenheim, and together with King Forgswulf, he is raising an army to take back Narsing and return its throne to its rightful owner!”
          “Well, you’re straight to the point, aren’t you?” I remarked.
          Raising a hand, the emissary continued, “However, if you surrender now, evacuate your elfin kin from this city, and give yourself up to the authorities, we will spare everyone of unnecessary war and bloodshed. Your fate will be lenient, and the Svartálfar will be free to return to their forests without harassment.”
          “Well, since you’ve been so blunt with me, I shall be blunt with you. I have no intention of surrendering, no matter how lenient your king will be.”
          “Please be reasonable. Can you really expect to besiege this fair city, steal its throne, and massacre so many people, without retribution? It is by Odin’s will that we will exact justice upon you!”
          “Justice?” I shouted. “Where was my justice when my husband beat me? Where was the elves’ justice when their homes were threatened? Where was justice when your thegns attack and pillage foreign kingdoms? Do not talk to me of justice, when it is you and your f!&king kingdom that’s dispensing all this misery! No, it is I who will exact justice upon you!”
          All around the hall, my guards drew their weapons and stepped closer to the emissary. Their menacing presence made the men agitated. The emissary begged, “My lady, I am just the messenger. These are the terms my lord has given me. I am in no position to discuss terms with you. But I hope you consider these terms carefully. The army of the two kings will be in the tens of thousands. They have superior arms and superior supply lines. If it comes to war, there is no way you can win.”
          “Tell your kings this: I want nothing more than to be left alone. But if my country is attacked, I will defend it. If it comes to war, it will be by your hand, not mine. If your kings do decide to declare war, they better be ready, because we will show no mercy or remorse.”
           “Are you certain about your response? You know damn well that King Hogarth will not accept these terms. He will declare war on you.”
          “Good. Let him bring war. I want war. My Svartálfar brethren want war. Give us a reason to wage war, so that we can burn your cities, slaughter your kin, plunder your farmlands, and subjugate your women! Give us a reason to torment your nations; I want to see them all crumble and burn, until the entire Kingdom of Nordsten exists no more!”
          “Are you mad, woman?” the emissary gasped. “You speak as if you’re the harbinger of the Ragnarök!”
          “Maybe I am. If so, then mankind’s twilight is falling fast, and I will be there to see it through to the end. And I will be laughing at mankind’s folly, as it dies a slow and agonizing death! And if your kings’ war will help usher in this new dark age, then perhaps we should give them an incentive.”
          All at once, my guards closed in on the emissary’s escorts and attacked. One of the human guards was instantly killed, as an elfin blade sliced through his neck and lopped off his head. Blood spurted from the wound, coating the emissary and the others in crimson.
          The other men pulled out their swords in time to defend against the elves. They put up a strong defense, but the elves matched their skill with brutality and terror. One of the elves gnashed his teeth against a guard’s ear, ripping the flesh off and making the man scream in agony. The other two guards were beat down with elfin blades, until their bodies were mutilated piles of gore on the floor.
          Disgusted, the emissary crumpled to his knees in a trembling fit. The elves gathered the heads of the man’s guards and held them out by their hair. I told the emissary, “Take these heads. Present them to your kings, along with my words. I will be waiting on the battlefield for their response!”
          The emissary was in a state of shock, unable to move. The elves had to pry open his hands and force him to carry the severed heads. As he was escorted out, I rested on the throne; in the silence that followed, the rage inside of my subsided, and doubt started to creep over my mind once again.
          The question came out of my subconscious, taking me by surprise: what was it that I was doing? I had come so far, conquering Lunaheim and all of Narsing, with a host of elves at my side. But the terror I was inflicting, out of so much brash impulse and aggression, didn’t feel like my own actions. It felt as though I was going through the motions of a living nightmare; I saw myself hurting Aonia, threatening other kingdoms, watching blood being spilled in my name, but I couldn’t bring myself to stop the spreading misery. I should have been content to end my quest here and now, to hold my position in Narsing. I didn’t need more conquest. And yet, I had antagonized a neighboring kingdom, and invited war into my life once again.
          My eyes settled on the blood on the floor, left from the slain guards. The thought of war made me feel excited again; the familiar addiction to murder drowned out my conscience. The path was set, and I could not alter it.

Copyright 2014, all rights reserved.

Film Review: Conan the Barbarian (1982)

"Between the time when the oceans drank Atlantis and the rise of the sons of Aryas, there was an age undreamed of. And unto this, Conan, destined to wear the jeweled crown of Aquilonia upon a troubled brow. It is I, his chronicler, who alone can tell thee of his saga. Let me tell you of the days of high adventure!" - Mako

Fantasy films are rarely bold in spirit. Most of them offer colorful, vivid spectacles in wonderful places, but when drawing on ancient myth and legend, very few truly recognize that our history is full of darkness and savagery. In the 1930s, Robert E. Howard created a legend of his own, channeling all the primal brutality and bloodshed of the ancient times into one savage hero: Conan, the Cimmerian who would become a warrior, a pirate, a conqueror, and eventually a king. Conan's adventures in literature took him across all corners of the ancient Earth, to battle countless enemies, vicious monsters, and the darkest magic. Films with this same rawness seem to only come once in a great while.

1982's cinematic debut of Conan is a welcome break from the typical sugar-coated fantasy fare; the film doesn't hold back on showing brutal warfare, liberal bloodshed, rampant sex, and savage landscapes. Right from the beginning, the savagery is palpable. At the same time, the film is not all that trashy about it; is uses only as much blood and gore as it needs to to tell the story. Using only a light amount of excess, the film progresses through a lengthy adventure full of cool battles and memorable scenes, with the right pacing and an appropriate tone that's not too bleak but not too lightweight. As it is, this incarnation of Conan is fun and awesome to watch, and even after a sequel, remake, and video game, it hasn't been matched since.

The original stories can get a bit derivative: Conan usually appears somewhere to slay some bad guys, get the girl, get the treasure, defeat evil, blah blah blah. This film ventures into the same formulaic territory, but before doing so, it lays the groundwork by chronicling Conan's origins, in a tragic opening sequence that's so fundamental in nature that it's been seen before. From then on, the film maintains a solid pathos that allows us to follow and root for Conan on his sprawling quest of vengeance. Conan is a fundamental hero to the core, and the film expresses all his characteristics - his strength, his beliefs, his motivations - aptly. The side characters he picks up are lovable, and their enemies are bad guys we love to hate. The plot is pieced together using some scenes inspired by the original stories, but it all flows really well, thanks mostly to the characters and their chemistry. It's all set in a world that looks primal, but not quite as dark or magical as the original stories.

This film boasts some good-looking photography. It can be pretty murky and drab at times, but the camera angles are great and the imagery overall is solid. Editing has a few weak parts, but is still mostly good. Acting can be a bit silly, but Arnold Schwarzenegger fits Conan both in body and spirit. I love Sandahl Bergman's performance as Valeria. James Earl Jones is literally hypnotic as the main villain, and everybody else does okay. Writing has a few weak spots, but there are still quite a few good lines. This production uses some limited, but very real-looking and detailed sets, props, and costumes. Basil Poledoris' music score is epic, grand, and a thing of beauty in itself.

Conan the Barbarian is one of the very few epic/fantasy films that's so raw and brutal, but it's still a fine adventure with lovable characters and solid plotting. Some may call this film overly violent or stupid, especially in the way it revels in savagery. But I've always valued the beauty of savagery, for I believe there is something compelling about the primal nature of this character. If you enjoy stuff like this - like the 300 series, the Berserk manga, the God of War video games - then Conan should be a must-see.

On home video, the unrated cut of the movie includes a few bonus scenes that elaborate a bit more on the characters, but aren't really all that necessary for the plot.

4.5/5 (Entertainment: Very Good | Story: Very Good | Film: Good)

Book Review: Conan the Barbarian: The Stories That Inspired the Movie (Robert E Howard)

"'Let me live deep while I live; let me know the rich juices of red meat and stinging wine on my palate, the hot embrace of white arms, the mad exultation of battle when the blue blades flame and crimson, and I am content.  Let teachers and priests and philosophers brood over questions of reality and illusion.  I know this:  if life is illusion, then I am no less an illusion, and being thus, the illusion is real to me.  I live, I burn with life, I love, I slay, and am content'." - Robert E. Howard, Queen of the Black Coast

Conan:  the very name suggests raw, primal savagery.  This Cimmerian warrior fulfills the fundamental archetype of a hero who wants nothing more than to slay enemies, conquer kingdoms, confront beasts, and enjoy the pleasures of women.  The stories capture the mysticism and allure of a place and time beyond all history, venturing into dark and deeply imaginative and territory.  Thus, the adventures of Conan the Barbarian are a graphic, uncompromising, hardcore type of pulp fantasy fiction that's rarely seen in the mainstream.

Reading these stories can be a bit dry.  Robert E. Howard tends to be wordy and flamboyant, much in contrast to what's seen in Conan's other appearances in media (the films, comics, video games).  However, the stories don't disappoint in the level of savage action and imagination; just about every tale pits the titular hero against foreign armies and wicked sorcery.  Each story offers an imaginative fantasy landscape that takes Conan from one end of the Earth to the other, from deserts to mountains to lost cities and the high seas.  Even if there is a little drag, the stories are truly larger than life.

This edition specifically features five popular stories:  The Phoenix on the Sword, The People of the Black Circle, The Tower of the Elephant, Queen of the Black Coast, Red Nails, and Rogues in the House.  They all cover similar ground:  in each story, Conan appears to resolve some issue using sheer brawn and brutal cunning.  He usually finds an ally, fights hoards of enemies, fights some source of evil (usually a monster, god, evil magic, something), and then he moves on.  Despite being formulaic, some stories succeed more than others.  Red Nails is probably the biggest standout, which unites Conan with an ally named Valeria and takes them into the depths of a lost city torn apart by tribal feuding.  Queen of the Black Coast has its neat moments, as a pirate-themed tale on the high seas.  The Tower of the Elephant is a pretty simple and easy story to digest.  I thought that the others were alright.  Character building never seems to be a priority in these stories; most side characters and villains tend to be one-sided.  It's hard not to love Conan though, for even though little is revealed about his background, the stories underscore his motivations and desires enough to reveal him as a simple man with simple pleasures.  Even with all the bloodshed and brutality, Conan is a brute we can root for, because he is so easy to understand, and embodies pure characteristics that everybody (or at least all dudes) can relate to.

Robert E. Howard's writing style is quite elegant; the man flexed some impressive writing muscle with his vocabulary and sentence structure skills.  He did a great job of conjuring up vivid and highly-detailed imagery, without going too far overboard.  Dialogue is not too bad either.  Best of all, he fleshed out an entire world and mythology that feels as real as it is primal; it's a universe full of weird-sounding nations and ancient beasts, but always with attention to geography and myth, and it embodies elements from all different parts of the world.

The Conan stories are well-written, pretty exciting, and the character is a seminal hero.  I did find the stories a bit dry and formulaic, but they have their moments, with Red Nails being the biggest must-read of the lot.  If you want a type of fantasy fiction that's blood-soaked and brutal, it doesn't get much classier than this.

4/5 (Entertainment:  Pretty Good | Stories:  Pretty Good | Book:  Very Good)

Video Game Review: Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch

The films of Studio Ghibli have teleported audiences to fantasic new worlds, the likes of which haven't been so captivating or endearing since the glory days of Disney.  Nausicaä, Castle in the Sky, Spirited Away, Ponyo, Arietty, and so many more, have all presented fantasies full of deep imagination, myth, and emotion; with Ni No Kuni, however, the studio adapts all these same strengths into a new medium, using its full potential to allow gamers to not just see the fantasy, but to live it.

If you've seen and enjoyed the films of Studio Ghibli, then you'll feel right at home with this game; it's all designed and rendered to match the look and style of the films.  Once you leave Motorville and enter the other world, you'll become immersed in a universe full of magic, whimsey, and wonder.  It's a world populated by fairies, monsters, steampunk kingdoms, weird animal people, and majestic landscapes.  The game has its share of cuteness and its share of epicness.  Above all, it presents a vast world with dense mythology and deep storytelling; it's like a hundred times more satisfying as Ghibli's films, because it's all spread out so far and so wide, and there's always something to explore.

The game itself plays out much like other JRPGs on the market; you spend your time gathering a party, roaming around the landscape, and fighting your way through hoards of monsters with hundreds and hundreds of battles.  As the game progresses, you grow more powerful, learn new spells, find new companions and creatures, and eventually fight your way to the finale.  Grinding for experience and loot can be repetitive (especially if you're aiming for the platinum trophy and looking for those elusive alchemy ingredients), but the main story keeps things rolling pretty well.  Overall, whether playing the main quest, bounty hunting, or running errands, the game is consistently engaging, highly immersive, and incredibly addicting.

The story is great; it starts off tugging the heartstrings really hard, for its opening is quite tragic.  As the story goes on, it turns into a sprawling epic that digs deeper into the myth and history of the fantasy world; some of the revelations, especially regarding the White Witch, are pretty invoking as well.  The story is full of lovable characters; even the villains are lovable, once their motivations are revealed.  Classic themes of good-vs-evil emerge, but what makes this game unique is that it's not all swords and sorcery; the good and evil exist more on an emotional level, and most of this conflict involve fixing hearts that are broken.  It's not only a different mechanic for some of the quests, but it's also a fresh new take for fantasy fiction in general.

This game runs smooth and reliably.  It uses pretty basic graphics that emulate cell-animation (with some quality anime cutscenes on occasion).  Despite not having terribly detailed textures or renderings, the game looks great for its given artistic style.  Gameplay is quite easy, with an intuitive control scheme.  There are oodles of tutorials available, making the game accessible for young, old, experienced, and unexperienced gamers alike.  The levels and world design are pretty decent, and there is a ton of places that can be explored.  Voice-acting (for the English version) is good.  The game is written well-enough, although I think it has a tendency to over-explain the objectives and over-simplify things.  Designs for all the settings, characters, props, creatures, and everything else is highly imaginative and fantastic.  Music is really great as well.

Throughout the game, I could easily identify countless references to the Studio Ghibli films:  My Neighbor Totoro, Porco Rosso, Nausicaä - and really, the whole thing plays out a bit like Howl's Moving Castle.  Even on its own merits, however, Ni No Kuni is still a phenomenal world all on its own, filled with endless hours of addicting gameplay, emotionally powerful storytelling, and whimsical experiences.  At the time of this writing, it stands as my favorite JRPG, and it is highly recommended for gamers young and old.

5/5 (Entertainment:  Perfect | Story:  Perfect | Game:  Very Good)